To think we are stuck with hideous neighbour.

[Neighboursfromhell]

We love in a purpose built flat, one neighbour above and then a substantial shared garden. Upstairs property is owned by a very wealthy Dutch man, turns out he bought the property to put his grown daughter in.

His daughter has significant mental health issues, we have 2-3 nights a week where she howls like a labouring cow all night, or she repeatedly slams the bedroom door over and over and over again. She will scream duck you you ducking cunts at us and she has a partner of about 18 months with whom there are domestics at least 2-3 times a week. Violent domestics. Police are here at least once a month. She grabs what sounds like hammers and whacks the floor screaming at us she can't do what she wants you fucking c.

Police won't do anything because the violence is tit for tat and if they want to attack each other they can.

Council won't do anything due to the violence and therefore it is a police matter. The domestic violence is only one element of the god awful behaviour.

We can't afford the tens of thousands to lodge our own court action.

We can't sell as it's an expensive (inherited) flat and no one is going to spend that much on a crazy, dangerous neighbour.

The property isn't rented, it's owned outright. The owner is technically breaching the lease by not acting on her behaviour but again, we can't afford to legally pursue it.

Aibu to think there's fuck all we can do?

Aibu to ask how long reasonably her mental health can give her allowances? She can 100% control herself when she wants to.

With multiple degrees in social work and work experience, I'm well aware of the realities.

It's effectively unsellable due to the neighbour, there is no way we can't disclose it.

The father does want ours, but he doesn't want it now and he also wants it for about 50% of whst it was worth, at this stage we'd take less than its worth but 50% less leaves us stuck. Part of me thinks the reason the dad doesn't want to intervene is to push us to the point of massively undervaluing it to escape.

If he wants it he can pay a fair rate.

I still think your best bet is to keep a log of incidents over a week, then take action with the council or police as a starting point.

Oh yes of course he does.

What response have you had from the management company/freeholder?

You don’t necessarily need to launch expensive court action - merely the threat of it may be enough - it’s expensive for the other side too which is why the other side may try to avoid it.

If you have any tangible proof of this l’d be getting a bit of legal advice. He’s using his mentally ill daughter to try to get what he wants. I’d trash the place myself before l’d sell it to this piece of shit at any price. Who is the freeholder OP ? Or is there a management company ? A pp has mentioned contacting either one because the owner of the flat could be breaking the terms of the lease. That’s good advice as it may be a quicker route to a solution.

And yet...

And yet there are options. As I've suggested to OP, the best thing to do to start is keep a log of incidents for a week, then take it up with council and police. It's a first step.

I feel so sorry for you.

Of course that is the father's agenda. Hoping that you will be so desperate that you will sell for 50% of its worth.

You need to keep on at the council. Surely they have to deal with anti-social behaviour.

I would write to your MP and local councillors.

Thank you. And I can donate to a fund for OP to take this matter to court, just to be told exactly this, by a judge. Or what outcome does op think the court will give her or him ?! @Neighboursfromhell

@Neighboursfromhell I am sorry for your neighbour who is obviously struggling and needs some serious help. I am also very sorry for you. I have a problem with my neighbour, but they are not a bad neighbours it is one thing that we can't agree on but it is driving me insane and it is nothing compared to what you seem to be going through.

Your home should be a place of peace. Legally you have right to that. I understand how much it can affect your mental health and how you feel all the options are closed to you.

I think the only way you are going to get a resolution is to rinse and repeat your actions.

Every time she is having an episode ring the police and ask them to do a wellness check. Then ring adult social care to report.

Ring environmental health every time the noise gets to be unbearable.

Report to the police every time you are feeling harassed or frightened of her.

Contact the company that own lease every time she breaches the lease.

Speak to your local councillor and MP.

I would also contact the father, if you have his details, every time you have to do this. You can contact him as a matter of concern rather than a complaint. He needs to understand how much his daughter is struggling and how much you are having to put up with.

Record everything, written and record if possible.

Rinse and repeat.

It is very worry that she is not getting the help she needs. Every one who should be supporting her should be made aware every time she needs support but they should also be made aware how much it affecting you.

I know this adds to your list of things to do but I think this is the only way you are and your neighbour are going to get a suitable resolution.

I wish you all the best.

And yet you dont know those options are extremely expensive, and more so than a flat in long term, or unavailable because of lack of space. Not to mentio nthe abuse that is happening in some of them- which Im sure you may have seen during your extensive experience.

I haven't worked in any of those places directly. I agree they aren't places I have chosen for my loved one, which is why I am caring for a disabled relative at home myself, because I can. But there are places where people can thrive too. It's not all doom and gloom.

There's a lot more I could say about working with this situation but I"m not going to write my thoughts here.

I just suggest OP keeps a log, keeps on at council and the police and gets advice from someone who knows how things work well.

just seen your comment that owner could have bought a detached property for the same amount. if I were you, this is what I will be putting pressure on, with the dad and authorities. since you have reported this to authorities, also be aware you are now obliged to disclose this to prospective buyers when you decide to sell up. @Neighboursfromhell

at least you now know first hand how the handling of mental health is inadequate, and I can promise you, council and police are just pleased she is not homeless, on the streets being their problem.

so, engage dad, or court action or sell up ; those are your only options.

Have you tried being nice to her?

Why is she calling you a fucking cunt? What cuntish behaviour have you done?

Because the way you talk about a vulnerable young woman makes you sound pretty cunty.

Why does the dad want your flat, does he plan. To live in it or rent it out if the lease allows. Would that stop her behaviour.

Record everything. Get CCTv/Ring. Report to police and social services. You are being harassed, and threatened, the fact that she has mental health issues is sad but the overall effect of her issues is causing you to have mental health issues. It is an onslaught. Nobody should have to put up with just a few incidents let alone multiple.

People who say sell. How, if you have to declare any issues with neighbours? Who would buy. If the father would, at a reduced price, I think there is an issue with him encouraging his daughter to force you out.

The OP made the cardinal sin of saying she owns a property. She has not said anything unsympathetic about the neighbour who sounds like she needs help, but that can't be provided by the OP. So according to the baying mob she is not entitled to live peacefully in her home. She deserves everything, she is disgusting, she should move out and sell at a loss. The lack of brain cells and empathy in this country at the moment is frightening.

Yes, that was a massive drip-feed.

Just saw it after I had posted, which just reinforced my advice to engage dad. I knew he held all the cards here without even seeing this.

OP needs to take the power back from dad. Push him to buy it off of you at a reasonable place or ask he moves her to a detached house. Also wanting your flat is not really a sign of someone uninterested in his daughter, as you put it. So, private negotiations are going on with op and dad hence the slow involvement of the authorities- I called this without even knowing the full details. OP @Neighboursfromhell needs to focus on that, trying to be nice to teh daughter in the meantime so she doesn't swear at her and take it from there.

Oh do get off your high horse. OP has given no indication that she's been threatening or even unkind to this woman and even the most self-righteous of us know that we couldn't cope having her as a neighbour any more than OP can

Why is it OP's job to tolerate this? She hasn't got any obligation towards this woman. Maybe mummy and daddy should have made some sort of effort to connect with her and help her rather than shipping her off to live in a flat with an abusive partner. Maybe if they'd paid attention to her and shown her love and value during her childhood rather than dumping her in a boarding school she wouldn't be so lacking in self-worth now that she behaves this way. Maybe if social services and the police actually had an effective therapy system that could help this poor woman she might stand a chance. None of this is OP's fault though.

We haven't done anything to her, we suspect part of her mental illness is extreme paranoia. I mean, we are quiet, we work out of the home all day. We put all the bins out else hers don't go out. We maintain the garden by ourselves. When she moved in we would say hello in passing. All of the issues start 10pm+ when really, we would quite like to be asleep. We do call the police when we hear her assaulting her partner, which she hates, and we called the police when we knew with certainty she was drink driving. We also called an ambulance when we were concerned she harmed herself. If those make us cunts then so be it.

Thank you, we are going to set up cameras and proper sound recording equipment. We've got a log going of more significant incidents but we need to record everything I think.

@MissMoneyFairy it is a road that backs on to the water front. When my own dad brought the property many moons ago the whole road was like his, 2 flats in a large plot and sensible, normal prices. Over the last 10-15 years they've gradually all been bought out, knocked down and 2-3 houses stuck on the plots for crazy money. Ours and 2 others of about a dozen are left. We have looked at and approached developers who did some of the others directly about selling ours to them just to get out but they won't unless they can buy both of us out at the same time.

Is there a landlord or freeholder or a management company. Why are you putting her bins out, let her do it and if it attracts vermin contact environment health, why are you doing the gardening, isn't that the responsibility of the agents, do you pay service or management fees.

Are you serious?

@Neighboursfromhell
Have you contacted the freeholder? Is your flat and hers managed by a company or do you have a share of the freehold?

You should buy OP's flat. It sounds like you'd be happy living below someone screaming, swearing, fighting, banging the floor with a hammer. Except you wouldn't. You are just happy for someone else to.

What a stupid comment. Trying to blame the OP for the woman violently fighting with her partner, screaming, swearing, staring through the window and banging on the floor with a hammer.