Friend 'asking' for £3k for 4th birthday party for her DD.

[parkyn]

I'm Godmother to my friend's child. The child turns 4 at the end of August. I'm CF (child-free) and earn a fair bit more than she does. Also, her income is a PT one due to her childcare commitments whereas I work FT. I live alone and yes, you could argue my life is 'simpler' than hers - but my outgoings aren't next to nothing.

She is planning a birthday party for her daughter and has somehow costed it to be around £3k. But a large part of that amount is apparently going towards alcohol as she's inviting her fellow Mum friends (obviously they would be there too). Her justification was that she was 'not going to serve guests crap booze' as it would give them a 'bad hangover'. She is also wanting to buy lots of 'champagne instead of prosecco' etc... but no mention of the cake for the child (yet) etc...

She said: 'All I need is £3k... you're so lucky that you don't have to worry about money. Let me know if you want to contribute!'

It's beyond awkward - and me being CF, I have no idea how much a child's birthday party costs - but I can't imagine every parent dropping £3k a year per child per birthday party. AIBU to think this is excessive?

If there are money struggles that I don't know about - that she's not mentioned - then that's another story.

this.

The venue is a nice restaurant - so no soft play etc..

Your friend is sooooo clearly wanting you to pay for her to have a piss up with her Mum friends. What 4 year old wants her birthday party in a "nice restaurant"?

Your friend is taking the mickey. And she's being very rude, actually.

4 year old party can't be more than £100-200. Booze is not compulsory. But even with that, I cant imagine how it would be 3k. Its insane.

Give your "friend" £50 and tell her to get the rest herself.

At 4 my nipper got a whole class invite to the local park after school......I supplied cake, squash and nibbles.....she had a great time...probably cost me £40 but memories are priceless..........do not entertain her op......

@parkyn please tell us you said "hell, no"

My DS was 5 last week. We had a party for him and 9 others at our house. Cost us about £80 total. They all had a great time.

Apologies.... that was her 5th.....for her 4th me and my OH took her to Cotswold Farm Park (nobody else)........

This is nonsense.
My youngest grandson is having a 1st birthday/christening.
There will be around 40 adults and 20+ babies and children.
Theres a bar in the venue for guests to buy drinks. We are catering it ourselves. I'm doing scones, cream/jam and a melon/kiwi/pineapple type tiered fruit cake. Other granny making sausage rolls and dips. Buying in trays of M and S sandwiches
Between us, I doubt we will spend more than £500 and that's including Venue and soft play hire.

Has she taken advantage of you before op? I think this is disgraceful what she is asking for!

Either she’s got lots of friends or they are going to drink bucket loads,

I don’t recall having any drink at any of my children’s parties until they were 18 - and that was them not parents, friends, hangers on etc.

@parkyn I wouldn't drink at a children's party and I'd imagine most parents would feel the same. Looking after kids is hard as it is, I wouldn't add booze to that mix. Surly this event is during the day as it's for a child. I spent less than £3k on my wedding. Your friend is crazy.

@parkyn this woman asked IF you want to contribute, you don’t, so don’t

wondering why she asked you to be a god parent now? She wants your money. You’re just a funding source

This “friend” doesn’t sound like much of a friend to me. 3 grand for a 4 year olds birthday party? Absolute piss take

Christ alive
Shes not throwing her preschooler a party she's throwing herself one.
My 6 yo party last year was an hour at an inflatables park it was £300 all in and that hurt

Eh? I’ve heard it all now. A party in a nice restaurant for a 4 year old?!? That’s not for the child at all, she’s clearly got delusions of grandeur. Buy something very much for your godchild and leave her to sort her own mess.

I just spent £120 and thought that was loads. Still need cake and party bags but will try to keep that around £30 for both.

£3k 🤣

If you’re a millionaire you can spend what you like on a kid’s party. I’m sure the Kardashian’s spend a fortune, even if most of us would only spend a couple of hundred quid. But your friend isn't a millionaire, is she? The fact that she’s asking for a contribution shows that she can’t afford it. It’s bizarre, cheeky fucker behaviour to expect you to cough up. She’s treating you like a piggy bank! Just say NO!!!

That's a ludicrous amount of money and she's super cheeky to suggest you help pay.

I've spent a lot of money on my 5 yr old's party but that's because there was the hire of the hall, there was a specialist entertainment activity and yes, we did buy decent wine and beer for the adults who were coming but we saved money, too. I baked and decorated the cake rather than buying one for around £80 or £100. We used the kitchen facilities at the venue and bought our own pizzas and sausage rolls and other bits rather than having it catered. It probably cost around £600 and that was at my absolute limit for how much I was prepared to pay.

I’d be contributing nothing towards this extravagant party. God parents don’t have to donate towards parties, they buy a gift and that’s all. I can’t believe anyone would be so wasteful to spend that on a child’s party, and something the child won’t even enjoy. Why not take the child to soft play and then have a night out with the mum friends. This party is for the mum. You’re mad if you contribute to this

I dont have alcohol at my my kids party. Party is for my child, not the adults and the party will last no more than 2 hours.
She sounds like an idiot.
A party for a 4 year old at the very most would cost around 400.00 but that's with a hall hire, bouncy castle, entertainment, decorations, cake and food for around 30 kids.

I usually count around £150 for a birthday party, £200 max. But that’s including everything, such as decorations, cake, food and the party e.g. bouncy castle hire, soft play etc. 3k is absolutely ridiculous.

As a mum of a teen and a nearly teen, I have hosted and been to my fair share of children’s birthday parties over the years. I can not recall alcohol ever being served at even one of them! Coffee, tea, soft drinks along with some snacks, yes but never booze!

Totally ridiculous and unrealistic. Adults don't expect food and expensive booze at birthday parties for little kids!!

I have two DDs (now teenagers) and they have had all kinds of birthday parties: soft play, water park, high ropes, video/ pizza /tie dyeing T-shirts, village hall with party games, a farm experience, hired out a local pool, and laser tag. Most of these were for 10-12 kids, because we never invited the whole class, just the girls. Other times, we took a smaller group of 4-6 for dinner and cinema etc. All of their parties cost me £100 - £200 in total. I made the cakes and did the tie dyed T shirts or piñata or cheap books/ balloon/ cake instead of party bags. Some of these were catered, and others we did ourselves. Paying thousands is batshit!

@parkyn your "friend" is deluded.
If you can't afford something you change your plan, you don't ask/drop massive hints!
If she wants to waste that amount of money impressing other people it should come from her pocket
Do not fund her "lifestyle"

WTF! Who the hell has a 4 year old's birthday party in a 'nice restaurant?'

It's a 'hell no'
She's a CF just wanting you to pay for 'ladies that lunch' shindig. Your god child's birthday is an ulterior motive.