Friend 'asking' for £3k for 4th birthday party for her DD.

[parkyn]

I'm Godmother to my friend's child. The child turns 4 at the end of August. I'm CF (child-free) and earn a fair bit more than she does. Also, her income is a PT one due to her childcare commitments whereas I work FT. I live alone and yes, you could argue my life is 'simpler' than hers - but my outgoings aren't next to nothing.

She is planning a birthday party for her daughter and has somehow costed it to be around £3k. But a large part of that amount is apparently going towards alcohol as she's inviting her fellow Mum friends (obviously they would be there too). Her justification was that she was 'not going to serve guests crap booze' as it would give them a 'bad hangover'. She is also wanting to buy lots of 'champagne instead of prosecco' etc... but no mention of the cake for the child (yet) etc...

She said: 'All I need is £3k... you're so lucky that you don't have to worry about money. Let me know if you want to contribute!'

It's beyond awkward - and me being CF, I have no idea how much a child's birthday party costs - but I can't imagine every parent dropping £3k a year per child per birthday party. AIBU to think this is excessive?

If there are money struggles that I don't know about - that she's not mentioned - then that's another story.

I thought I was pushing the boat out spending getting bouncy castle, mascots, face painter and catering for my daughter 4th birthday party a couple weeks ago... That cost £300!! I would never expect booze at a kid's party and I wouldn't be able to drink it anyway because surely I've got to get my kid home and carry on looking after them!

She's off her tits

Tell her you'll buy the Colin Caterpillar cake and buy her a present. 4 year olds don't need pissed up mummy's at their party.

Blimey, £700 for my 7 year old and I thought that was extravagant!

She is taking the piss. Why would she book a 4 year olds party in a restaurant! My ds is summer born so parties in the garden very cheap. My dd winter born so has had out the home parties earlier than my ds. But her trampoline party with 20 kids food and drink was £200 and that's more than enough to pay.

I’m pretty sure when my DD was 4 her birthday party cost around £250 and that included food, cake, entertainer, venue, party bags etc and we didn’t scrimp.

She’s being absolutely crazy

I'm having booze at my 4yo's party next week. A glass of wine or a beer for anyone not driving while the kids go nuts on the bouncy castle. Pretty standard.

Our priciest party was the whole class soft play job in P1. Probably £500 all in once you add in the cake and party bags. I thought that was ridiculous but was happy to pay for the ease of it.

OP if you're still reading, just say no and that you'll be giving your usual toy (or whatever). Just act like you think the request is a joke.

She wants it, she pays for it. The audacity of the woman actually asking for contributions! And what planet is she on 3K for a child's birthday party, this is a party to impress adults.

If she’s expecting you to gift £££ for your goddaughter’s 4th birthday she’s going to be expecting a Birkin bag for reception, you to pay for a helicopter and Chanel dress for her prom and the hire of a castle plus a real diamond tiara for her wedding!

I wouldn't be spending a tenth of that on a child's party. If she has expensive tastes, wants something extravagant, and can afford it, that's up to her. But no, I wouldn't contribute towards the cost of it, because I see it as a terrible waste of money and resent people who expect others to fund their lifestyle choices.

To be honest, this cheekiness would make me dislike her intensely, which is a shame, since you're her daughter's godmother (though I'd wonder if your money is why she chose you for that role in the first place).

Is she planning on all these mums getting completely drunk at a child’s birthday party? Who does she think is driving these children/mums home. Totally ridiculous, don’t get involved!

This poster doesn't seem to have posted on mumsnet before. I suspect this is a wind up.

I want to know why it’s expected you contribute to the cost of the party, it’s her child not yours. You can buy a nice card and present for the child but Godmother does not mean ATM.

Just had my 4 year old's party. Provided all food, soft drinks and beers / prosecco. Had a lovely afternoon for about £140

Could I just mention that you are still the child’s godmother and that’s a relationship that can be important especially as the child gets older. So if possible don’t do anything that puts that in jeopardy. Perhaps offer to buy a special cake? Presumably they’ll be wanting something more than Colin the Caterpillar

That's hilarious. I assume you burst out laughing?

Godparents are expected to bring a present for the child and that's it!! Don't offer to pay for cake or decorations as if she is turning her nose up at prosecco then she will be planning £100 on a bespoke cake and probably more on decorations. This is absolutely insane. The most I've spent on a kid's party including cake, decorations, soft play was around £300 and tbh felt a bit sick at the time. Some people hire a hall with bouncy castle and have some crisps and prosecco on the side for parents but no one would expect alcohol at a kids party let alone champagne! This is one of the most ridiculous things I've read on here.

Just because you are the god-parent there is no contract that you have to pay for the birthday party@parkyn

£3k is lunacy

We always did non boozy kids tea parties.
A very very nice cake is about 50, add sandwiches and drinks, another 100.
200 would cover absolutely everything, it's not a piss up.

The most expensive soft play near here which is in the leafiest suburb where all the rich people live is £300 for 12 kids.

It’s definitely not 3k that’s for sure! Shes majorly being cheeky and downright an arse! My daughter is 4. I live in the midlands, average price is about £15 a child and min 10 kids for the party and various places such as a bouncy castle place, petting zoo etc. so that’s £150. I would be fuming with her!

As every other poster has said - utterly ridiculous.
Tell her she should make it a byob party. Let's see how many bring champagne.

I would tell her to fuck off

I had my little boys 5th party on Sunday. I hired a hall, a large disco bouncy castle cube, a blow up penalty shoot out inflatable for the garden, Diddy cars and ride ons. We did a pinata and a tattoo table (temporary). Loads of food and drink and cake gor kids and adults. Party bags and a sweet table so the kids could make their own sweet bags upon leaving. All in with decorations the while thing cost about £400! Your friend is being cheeky and I would absolutely not contribute to this madness, at least not any significant amount. 3k for a 4th birthday party is Batshit

Somewhere between 50 quid and 500 I would say. 500 would be hiring a soft play venue Inc kids food, party bags, cake for 30 kids and buying a coffee for the parents. 50 would be at home with basic food and drink for 10 kids and parents.