Friend 'asking' for £3k for 4th birthday party for her DD.

[parkyn]

I'm Godmother to my friend's child. The child turns 4 at the end of August. I'm CF (child-free) and earn a fair bit more than she does. Also, her income is a PT one due to her childcare commitments whereas I work FT. I live alone and yes, you could argue my life is 'simpler' than hers - but my outgoings aren't next to nothing.

She is planning a birthday party for her daughter and has somehow costed it to be around £3k. But a large part of that amount is apparently going towards alcohol as she's inviting her fellow Mum friends (obviously they would be there too). Her justification was that she was 'not going to serve guests crap booze' as it would give them a 'bad hangover'. She is also wanting to buy lots of 'champagne instead of prosecco' etc... but no mention of the cake for the child (yet) etc...

She said: 'All I need is £3k... you're so lucky that you don't have to worry about money. Let me know if you want to contribute!'

It's beyond awkward - and me being CF, I have no idea how much a child's birthday party costs - but I can't imagine every parent dropping £3k a year per child per birthday party. AIBU to think this is excessive?

If there are money struggles that I don't know about - that she's not mentioned - then that's another story.

Is the child even invited?!

She's having you on. Don't give her a penny.

Bizarre. I've never spent more than £250 on either of my child's birthday parties. The oldest is 11. I spent about £600 on each of their christenings.

She is nuts

My DC's first birthday party cost about £200 (cake, snack foods, alcohol, soft drinks, village hall, some games/toys to entertain the kids). So I'd say £2-300 would be a v healthy budget, maybe a little more if she wants to serves a full buffet lunch.

Booze at a four year olds party is utterly crass.

Do not contribute in any shape or form.

Omg, I can't actually believe this. You can do a 4 years old'd party of £60 or less if you really want to. How dare she ask you!

She is really taking the p*ss.

Hall hire £60
party bags £40-50
entertainer £200ish
Food £40 ish depend on what you do
alcohol for parents £50 max

even the most expensive party I got costed recently would have been about £800!

What sort of party is the child having 3k is extreme.

We did a full class party when DD was 4, so about 30 kids and their parent.

£120 to hire the sports hall at the leisure centre which included soft play and a bouncy castle.

About £100 on classic beige kids party food - cheese sandwiches, cheese and pineapple on sticks, sausage rolls. Party rings etc

£50 on birthday cake, plates etc and decorations

£50 for party bag stuff

So all in it was about £320 and we considered that a bit pricey for a kids party.

Holding a 4th birthday party in a restaurant with champagne is bonkers

The requests will keep coming if you donate to this.

DD's was a softplay party with 26 kids and it cost about £280 (which is about standard around here). With party bags and a cake, it was around £310. 4k is taking the piss tbh.

This is a wind up - no one is that dim to think that a child’s party costs 1000s!
anyone could google this!

I'm guessing not pizza hut or McDonald's something the child might like. This is for your friend not her daughter. Her daughter will be bored in the restaurant. I am also assuming none of her friends will go from nursery or preschool. Your friend is a show off and wants to show off with your money tell her something has happened and it's wiped out your savings.

Spent less than that on both my wedding (with alcohol) and my divorce put together!

That is way beyond normal for a kids party, even if she provides alcohol for the adults. Providing champagne and cocaine wouldn't cost £3k! 🤣

When did it ever become socially acceptable to ask or expect monetary gifts from friends?

She’s insane. I live in London. We have a five year old, in a fairly middle-class-dominated state school, who was at quite a pricey nursery. I’ve NEVER heard of someone having a child’s birthday in a restaurant. What sort of fun is THAT for the child? Being London, must people’s homes are too small for birthday parties for a class of 5-year-olds, or they live in apartments so no garden, so in the past year we’ve been to:

• bouncy castle party at a leisure centre
• soft play at different leisure centre
• Party with entertainer at a sports club
• soft play in a church hall
• bouncy castle in a church hall
• magician in a community centre
• goo party in a dedicated “goo party” venue
• upstairs room at a pub, with games
• traditional games and pizza in someone’s house.

Being London, some of these cost several hundred quid (mostly the venue hire). NONE of them cost £1k, let alone £3k Your friend is paying restaurant prices for booze to impress the yummy-mummies. She’s off her rocker.

3k is crazy for 4 year old party

This.

I mean, you could spend £3k, but it would be all for the adults and the parent's ego, not the child. I spent about £250 on DS's 4th birthday - hall, disco, lights, bouncy castle, and he spent the whole time hiding in the kitchen because he was overwhelmed.

I had a party for my 5 yo in a village hall about a year ago, and it cost just over 1K. No alcohol for parents, thats just crazy. We hired an external entertainer and had a cake made. I think this mum is a real CF. You don't have to contribute a penny if you don't want to, but I think it all depends on your relationship with the little girl. If you want to contribute something , perhaps you could have a cake made for the girl /contribute towards the cake? Or you could perhaps buy her the dress she'll be wearing for her party. I would only contribute towards something for the child, not for mum to splash out on booze.

Im a bit scared of what the budget for her DDs 18th is going to be if she's budgeting £3k before her kids even at school 😱 we only did a party at a venue from 5.

That's crazy. A nice restaurant and champagne for a 4 year old party sounds insane.

Crazy. She wants to get parents bladdered at your expense.
I'd offer to buy the cake if you are inclined to do anything at all but honestly godparents do not fund children's birthday parties - they get them presents if your parents managed to pick a good one - that's about it.

@parkyn I have two DS and believe me never ever have their birthday party's cost anywhere near that price. This year in March one of our sons wanted a party at a jump zone it cost just under €500 that was for 22 boys including food and drinks for the children we don't tend to have big piss ups at our kids party's as it's for them and about the children. That also included a Minecraft birthday cake. I really think your friend is taking the piss!!

Unbelievable