To find parents who inflict pressure to become grandparents creepy

[OptimismvsRealism]

It's creepy, right

My parents will never be grandparents but they have never complained about this (which is just as well because tough) but it seems a lot do.

There are more women happy that they had children than there are who are not.

Of course there are. Most women are in control of their fertility.

You're preaching to the choir here! Patronising post!!

Why?
I'm not sure what is patronising here.

There are plenty of women who regret having kids. Plenty more who would have been just as happy with another path. Kids are an objective downer on life only mitigated by hormones in the other direction. If you don't get the hormones Ur screwed .

Thankfully we only got a few comments from aunts about not taking too long to have children (not from our parents). We were married a good 7/8 years before having DC1.

I adore my DC. I would love to be a grandmother. The world is going to shit though, so it won’t be a bad thing if neither chooses to have children of their own. I wouldn’t state that so bluntly though and would only venture an opinion if they asked me directly.

How is this thread still going and how is OP so bent out of shape about children? There are not plenty of people who regret their children, that is nonsense based on confirmation bias to suit your own skewed narrative. I initially gave this thread the benefit of the doubt but as OP has continued to post I have to agree with others that they sound either young and oblivious, or older and very bitter. Just be happy in your own life and spend a little less headspace on the lives of families.

Yet another thread from @OptimismvsRealism moaning about something

what a depressing way to live

OP is definitely very bent out of shape about something. She won't say what. But as she is not being pressured to have kids and clearly doesnt want any, it's baffling

from what i can gather from op’s extensive and depressing posting history is that the op is just fundamentally not happy in life

op is bent out of shape about pretty much every facet of life you can imagine

just one do the threads op started

which begins

OptimismvsRealism · 22/06/2024 16:01
I chose not to have kids and this weekend I'm having a bit of a blip about it not because I think that was wrong but because I think I'd feel less scared sometimes if I had a big tribe of my own to swim with me.

We all have “what if” moments. Doesn’t mean we’ve followed the wrong path.

I find people who go to the trouble of advanced searching other posters a bit weird and creepy tbh.

True. Everyone has what if moments. But OP appears very angry about something that affects her not at all.

i’ve been on a few of the @OptimismvsRealism threads

all angry and bitter

My dc know that one day (not any day soon though!) I'd love grandkids and I really look forward to being a grandma. I have 4 dc though, so no pressure on any of them as individuals, if any choose to be child free that is absolutely fine by me and I 100% support their choice. If non of them decided to have children, well then so be it. I'd be disappointed, but I'd get over it.

My in laws put loads of pressure on me (note., not DH!) to have kids. Every time we saw them I'd get grilled about it.

We have two kids and they see them maybe twice a year. Admittedly we moved 400 miles away for job reasons, but they also never call to speak to them either.

FIL does make the occasional brag about them on Facebook. I think that's all they are to them. Something to brag about.

My MIL kept asking me and my DH when we were going to have children. We have now got a DS and when I was pregnant she kept saying how excited she was.
She’s now upset as she wants alone time with him and I don’t want to be parted from him (7 months old).
I genuinely think the people who push you to have kids are the ones with unrealistic expectations where they think it’s a do over of parenthood! My MIL certainly wants to play mummy without the inconvenience of real mummy being there.

Why would they be missing out? Not everyone wants children

No it isn't, having children is not nor should be a hobby

And no idea why it is considered natural

The only thing that would have upset me about not having grandchildren, would have been a dd wanting babies, but being unable to have them. I would have been heartbroken for her.

I was 67 before the first Gdc arrived, and TBH, since the dd was already late 30s, I’d begun to think it was never going to happen, but can honestly say I wasn’t bothered - as long as dds were happy.

The other end of the spectrum is just as batshit in my experience.

My nan (more like a mum to my siblings and I) lost the plot when my sister announced her pregnancy, going on and on about how she never gave her permission to be a great grandmother and how no one asked her, as if my sister needed her permission.

Serious main character syndrome.

Oh a joke, like all the jokes about husbands hating being married. It's such boomer humour, not funny, and actually potentially harmful. My parents' 'jokes' about oh just you wait are actually part of the reason I remain childfree, despite the fact they're now whinging on about grandchildren.

And there actually are a lot of people who regret having children, it's just taboo to admit it.