To think you're not really that adventurous if you have your husband with you

[GigglingSid]

I'm part of a group for families who enjoy travel, nature, camping, outdoor pursuits, both in the UK and abroad. It's not a very single parent friendly group, some of the advice given, particularly around my budget for certain holidays has been very rude. There's been a lot of women commenting 'well my husband will always drive/ put up the tent/ plan routes/ bugger off cycling all day and leave me with the kids.
I've been away this week and have been chatting to various people on the group about hiking routes, camping spots etc. It suddenly struck me that many of these families have credit cards with limitless amounts on them, expensive cars, tents and camping equipment worth thousands and they are also nearly all heteronormative couples. What a different experience trekking though the Sahara as or with a large white man with you compared to my experience as a short, mid thirties woman?
I feel like I've been conned a little bit into thinking I wasn't able to be part of this elite club as I wasn't savvy enough at reading a OS map or that great at kayaking.
But maybe actually being a woman on her own, with two kids, £200 and an Aldi tent makes me the most adventurous of them all?

Oh dear, is this the new hated group, women still with their DH’s, in a family unit with their DC?

OP why don’t you save your breath to cool your porridge. You just sound bitter TBH.

I think it is some people need to put others down for them to feel good about themselves

Sure, it's easier to travel when you've got money and a partner, but that's nothing to do with being less adventurous. Such a strange post.

She's not on her own, she's part of a group!

But what are they saying that's rude? And why would yiu remain in the group if you think they are being rude and cant give advice that helps because they don't understand.

Op has only referenced them talking about their own trips. With their own family.

And then tried to make her own competition about who is really more adventurous.

I think they should all get divorced and give away all their possessions. They may lose everything, but at least they’ll be a bit more adventurous on a camping trip.

@ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo as I said in my first post, she should join a different group! I can't answer your other questions as I'm not the OP.

What has the fact that they are heteronormative got to do with anything? Not edgy enough to make you feel daring?

If you don’t like the people in the group, find a different group.

It's not a competition. I'm sure they are enjoying their adventures, while you are feeling all resentful and morally superior about the fact that they're not doing it 'properly'. What a weird attitude.

I'm part of a group for families who enjoy travel, nature, camping, outdoor pursuits, both in the UK and abroad

Ha, so you are not that adventurous at all. You are part of a group. You are complaining about women having partners and a bit of extra cash to cushion them, but you have the security, and company of the whole group around you.

I’ve lived and worked in 4 others countries, where they don’t speak English. I’ve done some really out there things, and not in a group.

Camping in the UK and abroad……WOW, how amazing.

I planned a holiday by myself when I was a teenager. Dad wanted to come with me but I wanted to go alone. It did feel more adventurous. But if we'd gone together (and in hindsight I wish we had had that time together), I'd still be me, and just as adventurous as a person.

I think travelling alone gives different experiences. If I travel alone I'm much more likely to talk to people I haven't met before, chat to local women who might not talk to me if a foreign man was present, and be more spontaneous.

On the other hand, there are holidays I think you'd be insane to do alone as a single woman. Much too dangerous. I wouldn't view that as adventurous, just stupid.

I can pick them at the trail head. The ones who head in dressed completely inappropriately (dangerously even), not carrying enough water, if any at all. No equipment.

The last wilderness adventure I did a week ago, I saw a group of six people like this heading in. Last night I read of one of the regular rescues in the area having happened again.

To be fair, I started out with a lot to learn myself and made some mistakes, but we learned on the easier trails.

Being "adventurous" (whatever that really means) isn't the objective though. Surely it's about enjoying your own company or enjoying who you're with, and what you are doing. Whether that's your kids, DH, friends etc and camping, being in a posh hotel, it doesn't matter. It doesn't need to be a competition

Yes, it is easier with another adult! Having been on both sides it is just objectively easier unless the other adult is lazy, unhelpful etc

Is there a single parents camping group you could find to join OP? I think that you are taking more risks than the others simply because there’s only 1 adult to do the work and you have less budget to throw at a problem if something goes wrong so I get your thinking. But I also think you feel a bit excluded being a single parent and it might be making you feel resentful - or can you find another single mum to team up with if you want to? It sounds to me like you find the other parents a bit smug

I didn’t suggest you were the Op. bit confused there.

I'm adventurous but don't like roughing it or sport. I'm also married. @GigglingSid that must make me the lowest of the low.

Are they are actually telling you that you aren’t adventurous because you have a smaller budget and no other adults to share the load? Or are you just assuming they think that because people have made oblivious comments? It sounds like you are irritated by hearing others being praised for ‘adventurous’ trips when said trips are really expensive and therefore only open to those with money.

I can see the annoyance if you come up against one of those particularly annoying types who competitively count countries they’ve ’done’ (like one can ‘do’ an entire country in a week 🙄), where it is clearly just budget that determines where you can go. If they imply you are not adventurous because you haven’t ‘done’ an Antarctic ‘expedition’ cruise or gorilla trekking tour like they have, then of course yanbu.

Hey OP, there are single parent holiday groups and single people adventure groups which might be better for you to find more folks in the same situation x

Yes, the situation of being on your own forces you to have to make these kind of efforts. If you’re with a partner or friend it’s a different experience that doesn’t require the same effort, nothing wrong with that either it’s just how it ends up happening 🤷🏻‍♀️

it's also a choice.

Travelling with kids is obviously always more of a challenge, but people chose to travel alone, or with friends, or with siblings, or with a partner, or within a group.

No one is superior but being miffed because other people do it differently means someone has a massive chip on their shoulder.

You sound jealous.

It's no one else's fault your single.

Just because people aren't single don't mean they are richer, also many with new shiny cars etc... are just in a lot of debt.

Regardless though NONE of that has anything to do with 'adventure'. Should tell all those people who climbed Everest or traveled the unknown world by boat mapping it etc... that it wasn't a real adventure because they weren't alone doing it in an Aldi tent.

You clearly feel sorry for yourself but 'othering' everyone else and attempting to victimise yourself just make you look bitter.

By your thread title it appears you’re only judging married women as ‘non adventurous’. Is a man more or less adventurous if he has his wife with him on a camping trip? I feel like we need a scale of how adventurous someone is based on their sex, sexuality, marital status and financial situation 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Speaking from experience and from what other friends have said to me, when friends etc become partnered up or start families it is hard to find people to travel with and holidaying or travelling solo often is the only option. Not a criticism it’s just how things can often end up happening.

I read your post twice and I genuinely don’t know what you are talking about or what you mean? Can you buy bravery along with a tent on the middle isle at Aldi now or something?!

I also have absolutely no idea what “heteronormative” means.