To dismiss a guy pursuing me, because he likes metal music?

[LilacCatt]

A nice guy is pursuing me. I don't know him much yet, but he is nice so far.

Something that is making me have 2nd thoughts though... Is that he loves metal music.

I frigging hate metal music.

I like pop, rock, reggae, soul, house, disco, grunge, classical.... Anything but metal. I cant bear to listen to even 30 seconds of metal. To me, it sounds totally demonic. I cannot comprehend why someone would want to listen to that.

I spend a large portion of every day with music playing.

This guy says he listens to metal 80% of the time.

I'd love to meet someone who I can really vibe and dance with, and just enjoy listening to the same music together.

AIBU to dismiss a guy for his music tastes? Even if he is a nice guy, respectful, handsome, very sporty/muscly...?

My experience is that guys into metal are sensitive and empathetic. The music is rage at the injustice of the world 😂

Put me in for £20 worth!

Music taste is what brought us together and has kept us together, been with my husband 14 years now, 2 kids. Music taste is very important to me, saying that he likes metal and I don't but there's lots of music we both love!

Did you see the school orchestra (think they may have been Australian....) playing Enter Sandman?! It was AMAZING!! The girl on the flute was totally rocking out! Its on Youtube if you havent.

If you do choose to end the relationship, please be honest with him as to why so the poor guy knows it’s not him, it’s you.

I met a lovely lad (32yo!) on my MA course - creative writing - widely read, had written a fantasy novel. Play in a HM band often up at the arena in Birmingham. Not my style of music, but when he met a girl mid course i couldn’t help but think what a lucky girl she was. He was such a sweetheart. Their FB page is full of their travels and historic days out. Am glad she wasn’t off-put by his music tastes.

Now my future BiL… banjo and ukulele player in a folk band. 🤣

I think that the reason they are (mostly) kind and empathetic is because if they are having a bad day or are pissed off and angry, they put on the loud shouty musc. They sing/shout along to it, get the anger out in a loud but harmless way and then everything is fine . Its kind of like singing therapy. I have only once seen a fight in a metal pub and that was when a bunch of "trendies" (as they were known then in the early 90's...you know the ones, baggy jeans and floppy hair) came in and started fronting up to prove they were hard. Got their arses literally thrown out by the bikers (who love the music but usually dont drink as they are on bikes) and when they started throwing punches it was them who were arrested not our guys!

Urgh....folk off, folk head!

I have to say that a folk fan/player (they all seem to be both, presumably because there are so few of them!) would be a dealbreaker for me....its so sodding dull! I really hate bland pop but, and this is saying something for me, I would rather listen to Coldplay [shudders] than folk!

This made me smile! DP who I've lived with for 14 years is a massive metal head! I've tried and tried to like it but ugh it's just so loud and awful! Hopefully when you get to know this guy he'll have other redeeming features.

I did, I was totally honest with him

Did you honestly say 'I think your music is shit' 😆

🤭
No. I said I feel like our interests are too different and I can't see in my head how that would go as a relationship

Did you add "However.....there are a LOT of women who want your number, can I share it on Mumsnet?!"

@PyongyangKipperbang you just had me lost in a moment of 90s nostalgia there. I miss those days so much, more as i get older. You always felt safe in the rock/metal places.

Lol me too, however my sister loves him and he treasures her as she deserves… but, nope, I will not be going to one of his pub gigs!

I've been around metal heads all my adult life. Some of the nicest most respectful bunch you'd ever meet. I'd leave him to someone who appreciates him regardless of his music taste

Demonic? Seriously? Of course you are under no obligation to date a man regardless of his music taste. Your description is a bit weird though.

Interesting. I’m extremely jealous of a mate who just went to 3 Rammstein concerts in 3 different countries, pretty much her summer holiday with her DH.

My Dh is hugely into metal, not too much ‘demonic screaming about hell’! I remember American Headcharge playing in the car and my dad dryly remarking how much he liked it.

My DH will tolerate pretty much any music-I like a mad variety-and I’ll just tune out anything too heavy, his choice in his car, my playlist in my car. If he were massively into dancing (the thought makes me laugh!) or going to concerts, I’d probably think we weren’t suited too. I think he got all of his concert going out of the way before I met him, thankfully!

This thread has made me realise that I’ve never given it a thought about a prospective partner’s taste in music. I guess it might be because although I like music I wouldn’t say I was passionate about it.

Yes! When I lived abroad, I had a group of biker/metalhead friends, just the best bunch!

Definitely!

Women and men were always safer in those places than anywhere else.

I miss the Oak, my local rock/metal/biker pub! So many of my friends met and got together there. Went back a couple of weeks ago with my daughter and its all middle aged and middle class. Classic case of middle aged men in red trousers and middle aged women in M&S!

I should add, I am middle aged and stood out a mile in my Five Finger Death Punch t shirt!!

It's funny really because some of it might 'sound' demonic but really isn't.

Gojira, the French heavy metal band who played at the Olympic opening ceremony are serious environmentalists and sing about protecting whales and rainforests.

But if you don't look at the lyrics it's far from obvious.

That's why it was extra funny that they were being denounced as satanists by people who don't have a single clue.

The majority of men i know and have met that are in to metal are wonderful people. As a woman in a metal crowd I am never worried about anything and feel very well looked after by the men in the crowd. So there's that!

Dh and I both into metal but I also like loads of other stuff. It makes no difference and we've found plenty of stuff we both like.

Also not all metal is equal, there's so many different styles I bet you'll find some you like. Just look at it as broadening both of your horizons. See what you like!

My teenage son likes them. It does all sound like noise to me tbh but some of the singers of those sort of bands actually have nice voices when they sing ‘properly’.

As OP feels relieved she’s contacted him to say no then it is the right decision for her.

I’m imagining you had a very good reason to not like the name Dave. Otherwise that’s also odd.