To dismiss a guy pursuing me, because he likes metal music?

[LilacCatt]

A nice guy is pursuing me. I don't know him much yet, but he is nice so far.

Something that is making me have 2nd thoughts though... Is that he loves metal music.

I frigging hate metal music.

I like pop, rock, reggae, soul, house, disco, grunge, classical.... Anything but metal. I cant bear to listen to even 30 seconds of metal. To me, it sounds totally demonic. I cannot comprehend why someone would want to listen to that.

I spend a large portion of every day with music playing.

This guy says he listens to metal 80% of the time.

I'd love to meet someone who I can really vibe and dance with, and just enjoy listening to the same music together.

AIBU to dismiss a guy for his music tastes? Even if he is a nice guy, respectful, handsome, very sporty/muscly...?

This is how I feel. I feel like sometimes it's really how I bond romantically with people. Ive dated people before who only like 1 genre (which I do like) and it's just driven me so crazy only listening to 1 genre all the time. For some reason this is so important to me!

Sorry I don't understand what you mean about James and headphones, haha

If it bugs you now and music is a big part of your life, then it will be an issue.

Oh gosh. Okay. Don't know what to think.

I don't think it's "weird" or anything to dismiss someone because of their music tastes, though you may be missing out on everything else they have to offer!
My DH and my music tastes are completely different, it hasn't affected us at all. Maybe ask him what his favourite song is to show an interest, listen to it, and if you really can't be around that kinda music then call it quits lol. But you might like it 😆

Yeah like I don't mind a bit of bands like Tool.

But I'm talking really horrible, screaming demonic voices.
I just can't.

He keeps sending me songs and I hate them all

You can end things for any reason you want.

Personally it would depend if they were happy to not play it in the house/room I'm in or not play it much.

Husband of 33 years (together 35) listens to all sorts of weird stuff. On his headphones 🤣

Nope yanbu.

Would drive me insane listening to music I detest.

YANBU. Wouldn't be for me either!

You do you. My husband loves metal, is generous in every aspect of his personality, so kind, a wonderful, equal parent and great fun. He also loves Taylor.

You could be writing off the perfect fit in favour of what?

You have loving music in common. I've read in here that some people don't even like music (unfathomable to me). I would try not to let it put you off.

Some of his stuff I can listen to. Just. And he sat and listened to Taylor Swift’s new album I blasted out on repeat much to his delight! But I’m glad I pushed through those initial thoughts.

Other people's musical tastes are like other people's farts: try to convince me all you like but I'm not going to enjoy them

Its up to you to stick him in the bin if you want to. You’re a grown woman with personal agency. But if that’s the worst thing about him it seems a tad of an overreaction. Maybe he thinks your music taste is shit.

Like screeching in a devil voice about hell 🤣🤣🤣

Ah ok, I would struggle with the really thrash/death metal kind of vocals, and I wouldn't want to listen to it or go to concerts. But I don't think it would put me off if I otherwise liked the guy, as long as he understood that I wouldn't ever be into that kind of music.

Ita pretty weird to write off a whole genre of music, especially when you like so many different kinds, as for it sounding "demonic"... 🤨

Metal heads are some of the nicest people out there ime, I would date this guy in a heart beat.

You sound pretty set in your ways though, so maybe leave him for someone who won't write him off so easily. You can date/not date for any reason you choose.

He most definitely will...
So therefore... No shared music? 😢

I can absolutely understand when you say it sounds demonic. I once (stupidly) went to a club with a lovely friend who loves that sort of music and it scared the crap out of me because it sounded like the devil was screeching commands (very loudly) through the speakers and everyone was going wild! We didn't stay long as I think she could feel my fear. She was a lovely girl though and apart from her music taste we had a lot in common and are still friends 25 years later.

Sorry I was dictating and I meant to say I cannot wear headphones!

For me, a joint joint appreciation music is so important. We listen to and talk about music all the time.

Just the other day the BBC had an evening about Prince, with a concert etc. It was really good watching it together with my husband.

I think it depends how important music is to you.

I remember that my mother-in-law was not interested in music at all, in which case it wouldn't matter what her husband liked.

But for me, music is such a major part of my life that I want to be able to share it with someone.

Depends what kind of metal.

I dont like death metal at all, its so noisy and shouty I find it overwhelming. Standard rock/metal like Metallica etc is fine.

I think you need to ask him more about his sub genre preferences as there are many different types of metal so harder than others.

Yeah that's weird. My husband likes metal. It doesn't mean I have to listen to it a lot. He has a lot of great qualities that I value in a partner, so dismissing him because of this would be stupid. We have other musical tastes and other things in common.

You’re being silly op

No she really isn't.

Music is really important to her just like it is to me and I really couldn't spend the rest of my life with someone who didn't have a similar taste in music to me.