Sister keeps asking when I will move my family out of my parents’ house

[KindNavyJoker]

Dh and I emigrated back to the UK with the kids after living abroad for 5 years. I have 3 young children aged 5,3 and 1.

Whilst dh and I get situated we are staying with my parents. We are lucky that they live in a beautiful home a short walking distance from a lovely high st. And the train into London is only a short walk away. My parents encouraged dh and I to enjoy the summer with them before jumping into setting up house. I appreciate this a lot.

It’s going well. I do my best to be a good house guest and so do my kids and dh.

Anyway, my sister was visiting (dropped off her kids for free babysitting before buggering off to pub) and whilst we were having a drink very directly started asking about my plans. And how I don’t want to take the piss etc. She pointed out how messy the living/diner/kitchen was ie cluttered with toys. But tbh I don’t see how this is relevant to her. I make sure to tidy up before my parents return from work.

I think us being here is more inconvenient for my sister as she has lost her second space. She had my nephew’s birthday party at my parents house - in the main space my kids and I spend most of our time. Didn’t even bother to ask me. Just announced it.

AIBU in thinking I am doing absolutely nothing wrong. My parents suggested exactly what I am doing.

We are having a great Summer after a stressful move before having to move to a cheaper, less picturesque area most likely.

100%
even if the OP isn’t her, she will love being known. soz Caz, you are known. But mainly for being an absolute crank.

Regarding the actual post, I think it’s normal for a parent to help their child out. However, I think some ppl don’t know how to not overstay their welcome. Innocent or not. Maybe the sister is concerned based on a complaint or convo from the parent. Either way, it’s probably time to start looking at places if they’ve only expected you for the summer.

I have found that, if my sisters start asking strange questions about my plans or behaviour, more often than not, my mother has been moaning about me to them.

i think that spending all the summer with your mum is a bit off. You should be staying with her while actively looking for a place to move to ASAP, not having a holiday in their home which is likely to be extended for months if you keep treating this time as a holiday.

Well because her sister was living in that space. I think not to ask is rude.

What a horrible thing to say!
When I was in a similar situation my sister insisted we spend some time at her house before staying with my parents. She is a angel.

Not to completely derail the thread but why is Caroline a "crank". I'm not on insta only Facebook and I sometimes see her reels and I quite like her. I think she's funny. Why do much animosity? What have I missed by not being on instagram?

Back to @KindNavyJoker just speak to your folks. Check in with them what their realistic expectations are for your ETA. Have a heart to heart with your sister. Let her know that you've spoken to parents and that arrangement is between you and them. But that you don't want there to be an issue between you both

Not ETA..... I'm so tired! ETD ...is that a thing.

I don't think some of you realise how difficult. it can be to return to the UK from an overseas placement if you don't have a job. You don't have a current credit history and really have to rely on family kindness. It is actually quite difficult to get a rental in these circumstances.

She’s a know it all. She hates when people disagree with her, even with facts present. She’s very rude to the ppl in her comments. Not even rude comments, just people asking general questions. She is always comparing the U.S. and the U.K.,
making out like where she used to live was horrid.

She also goes on blocking sprees. Check out mummysflippinhouse thread on Reddit. I just learned about it very recently and wow…

I suspect her parents have moved out and into their parent’s house by now.
At least they’ll have some peace and quiet, even if they have to cook a few meals for granny and granddad and maybe push around a wheelchair.
Way way less chaos & arguing.

I'm trying to work out the 109% agreement. 🤔

Fuuuucking hell. 😮

you turning up as a group of 5 people parked in your parents house is going to change every interaction between your parents and their other children if you are hanging around the house for months on end

Is that the way you would talk about your own children when they're older and needed your help? This thread is astonishing.

She also called her 2-year-old son an “idiot” in a video while holding him. She is awful.

You can think you'd enjoy something and then realise it's too much. The fact you're happy to offer something doesn't automatically mean you are happy while that thing is ongoing. OP needs to speak to her parents, they may well be finding this too much, but not know how to say this and the sister is saying it for them. Five extra people in your house is a lot.

I think this too.

Your parents are pissed off and have verbalised that to her. I get it, I'm child-free but my parents vent their frustration to me about my brother and his expectations about childcare. I think grandparents should be allowed to opt in to childcare personally. My parents are treated like unpaid labour. It's disrespectful.

Jesus Christ people. Parents do invite migrating and/or renovating children to live with them, I’ve seen lots of this. Some do take the piss and many don’t. I barely got any ‘free babysitting’ while we were living with my parents because I didn’t ask for it. If the ops dh had to look after dsiss kids without being asked or given any notice that is rude and entitled. I have a sil like that so I’d say oh dear, dh is just off to visit a friend and he doesn’t have enough car seats, you should have checked in advance 😁
but also I don’t think dsis needed your permission to have a party at your parents, only theirs. You need to smile sweetly, say you know mum and dad invited us, and we’re having a lovely time. (& check with your parents if there is anything annoying them as dsis has been telling you it’s not ok)

Maybe. Maybe dsis is just entitled. Could just as easily be either- given the dropping her children off with no planning then she’s definitely entitled, so while the parents might have been moaning to her the weight of probability is starting to lean to it’s just her. The op should find out if there’s anything bothering her parents about having them.

Hey Caroline (Mummysflippinhouse)! Nice to see you in this thread on a burner account 😊

Check out mummysflippinhouse thread on Reddit. I just learned about it very recently and wow…

There is also a long running Tattle page on her which I only found about recently when C herself mentioned that there was one

Apparently there is a page about her sister too but not looked at that

DH starts a job in September. The beginning or the end? Do you plan to be moved before then? Your DM may have asked you to stay before she really considered the impact of 5 more people in her house! And how much time are you all spending together if your parents are out at work everyday? You have at least another month of you and DH effectively being on holiday, are you contributing financially or practically to the household. No wonder your sister is worried you're freeloading.

Tattle is a horrid trolling website full of hate and jealousy.

If you all hate Caroline so much stop bloody watching her and get something in your life.

I very much think the OP is one of the tattle trolls

Once you have been on mat leave for 12 months, its just unemployment,

Your poor parents - both children a waste of space

I too am pretty astonished by some of the responses to this thread.

The OP is on mat leave and just back from overseas. It's not unreasonable that she stays with relatives for a bit. Hell, the UK is now full of families where the younger generation lives with their parents for years on end due to housing costs. That's not an ideal situation at all, but my point is that the OP's situation --with parents for a few months at most - is minor by comparison. My sister and daughters moved into my parents' place for six weeks when they were having renovations done. It's the kind of thing that relatives do for each other - you know, in the real world of normal people who care about their family members and want to help them out.

You’re very rude about your sister and her use of your parents and their house, when you’re doing exactly the same thing as you accuse her of.

YABU.

All 4 of my MIL's kids are a 'waste of space' (including me and dh) and I do find indicative of the dysfunctional economic system-

Dh and I 'squatted' at his mum's home for 3 years in our 20s after moving home from abroad to save a deposit/also in limbo while waiting for a visa, finally bought in london at age 26 and 29 and moved out..

Dh's sister is doing the same at her MIL as we did except she is 32 instead of being 24 and has a baby plus her dh is doing a commission only job as a realtor (he is 35).

Another of DH's sister is moving to her boyfriend's country, she is a musician/tutor who earns pennies and her boyfriend is unemployed, don't see how they can live anywhere but with parents sustainably.

MIL's youngest tells me why should she want to move out, she would probably live there for the rest of her life. She has turned two rooms into her 'shed" (they look like the hoarders rooms on telly). She is not likely to ever earn enough to move out and doesn't go out of her room most days