To be annoyed at people who turn off 'read' receipts on WhatsApp?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

So basically you will never get blue ticks from them.

I know a few people who do this and it really annoys me because I now assume they've seen it but don't rant to reply. I keep my ticks on because sometimes I'm not able to check my phone frequently. I'd rather someone know I haven't seen their message yet, not that I'm ignoring them, or maybe I have seen it and just forgotten to reply - so they can prompt me.

I find it weirdly controlling that someone doesn't want me know they've read my message. Of course, you don't know when an email has been read, or a phone message listened to, but WhatsApp has that function which I think is great.

If you're someone who turns off the blue ticks, can you tell me why...

I turn mine off and also my last seen online because I don't want the aggro of people getting the hump if I don't reply right away !
I sometimes will read on the go and reply when I get home etc so would rather have it all unavailable

This is a bit worrying don't you think? Sometimes people may read your message but want to reply later. Why are they not allowed to do that?

OK, so I made assumptions based on where I was coming from.

But most of you have been just as bad, assuming things of me.

I do not want a time stamp on when my message was read. I'm not expecting a reply most of the time. I'm not trying to control anyone. I just want to know my message has been seen! And I found it weirdly secretive because I didn't understand. But I have revised my opinion after helpful posters. Be nice if some of you could. Then again, it's AIBU!

I do this because I have 40+ staff who have zero boundaries and text me whenever they feel like.

I answer in normal working hours or if I can see it's an emergency but otherwise I'll leave it and they don't know I've read it so it's easier otherwise they send ???????? if they can see I've looked at it.

For the most part people responded to you in the way they did because of your choice of words and attitude. "I find it weirdly controlling that someone doesn't want me know they've read my message."

If you had phrased this differently you would have got a much better response, you didn't come across well in your original post.

"I'm not trying to control anyone. I just want to know my message has been seen! And I found it weirdly secretive because I didn't understand..."

Do you now understand the issue with your statement now? Because wanting to know when someone reads something is controlling. Your post appears to show you still are denying this?

Mine are off but it still says when they've opened the message btw

People have always looked as texts, emails, letters without instantly replying! Because of the 'last seen' system, people are now aware of it.

Turning it off means people don't see if I open WhatsApp and thinking I'm ignoring them - and vice versa.

Really? So wanting to know your letter or parcel has arrived is controlling? I think it's just normal!

That's not really the same...

Tracking a parcel is not putting pressure on someone and getting into a state if they don't reply on your terms

If you want to know it’s arrived and don’t need a reply send it signed for Royal Mail

Because it's information that the other party does not need to have. And it's rather sad that anyone would actually spend time checking something so trivial. If it's important, make a call.

You can't compare delivery receipt of inanimate objects to a person reading a message. You still ar oblivious to how inappropriately controlling you are being. That is red flag behaviour and you are not taking that feedback from people at all.

But where does the OP say she's getting in a state about replies

I know what you mean OP, in a way read receipts are the equivalent of wanting to know if someone has received the birthday card you sent, you want to know if they have received your message, then once you know they have, they can just reply in their own time, but most, including me have turned off their read receipts I’d say. I’d go along the lines of if you’ve sent a message, then the recipient has 90% of the time seen the message there and then, a lot of us have our phones in our hand most of the time. But it’s definitely gone too far in a way, I hate being contactable 24/7. When my mum was alive it made her extremely neurotic if I didn’t answer the phone straight away, where as years ago with a landline we had more space mentally, people wouldn’t be in, so we would try another time.

I get what you mean, but I think we are all trying to reclaim a bit of distance and breathing space in this constant online world, with everything available right now, read recipes being off are a small part of that. I don’t think you are controlling by the way for thinking as you do.

But where does the OP say she's getting in a state about replies

The point where someone not replying instantly becomes "controlling". People are allowed to look at their phone without giving you a response immediately.

You seeing something different from me then

"I find it weirdly controlling that someone doesn't want me know they've read my message." - I find the reverse of it weirdly controlling.

I've turned all these functionalities off because of messages like:

• I can see you've been online, why don't you reply to me?
• I can't believe you left me on read
• Not seen you online for x amount of time, are you ok?
• You said you were in a meeting but I've seen you online

Different people and often work related.

It's nobody's business when I use my device and how. Used to receive messages from 20+ different people a day so of course I filter them, otherwise all I'd do is be on WhatsApp.

Mine are off as I use my personal number for work as well and I'd rather not have staff knowing whether I've read their msgs or choose not to reply on my days off. And I don't want the pressure to respond right away

Doesn't bother me of others are off or on. I don't even look st their ticks

Yup, literally this. Think yourself lucky OP if you've been the victim of abuse and harassment. That's why mine are turned off as he would see I'd read it then get incredibly nasty when I didn't reply immediately.
It's absolutely up to me if I want them on, why do you even let it take any headspace.

And you missed the part where op thinks others are being controlling for not sharing their every move (read reciept a, as in the title) 👍

No your example is equivalent to 2 grey ticks on WhatsApp which still happen regardless of the read receipt being turned off! It has been delivered to their phone!

To use your example of the letter, you want to know they've lifted the envelope out of their post box, sat down, ripped it open and read it!

My online status and whether I have read a
message is my business alone.

Aside from at work when my employer is paying me to work; it’s no one’s business. For crucial comms my employer has a check button for us to confirm we have read a comm: which to me makes the most sense

YABU

You dont know why they have turned it off. DD and my sister both turned it off as they get constant messages when they are not at work and people get stroppy if they dont reply. These are of course the same people who refuse to answer messages on their days off!

So they have turned off the blue ticks so no one will know if it has been seen or not, until they reply. Sadly you cant just have it for certain contacts or groups, its all or nothing.

Sorry op, I think you are massively bring unreasonable!

Its not your business whether someone has read or not read that message or when they were online or how long they take to message back.

What difference is it to you if they have read a message but not yet responded? How will that knowledge help you?

No one's business if I'm online or not. Or if I've read a message or not. I'll respond when I'm ready to