To be annoyed at people who turn off 'read' receipts on WhatsApp?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

So basically you will never get blue ticks from them.

I know a few people who do this and it really annoys me because I now assume they've seen it but don't rant to reply. I keep my ticks on because sometimes I'm not able to check my phone frequently. I'd rather someone know I haven't seen their message yet, not that I'm ignoring them, or maybe I have seen it and just forgotten to reply - so they can prompt me.

I find it weirdly controlling that someone doesn't want me know they've read my message. Of course, you don't know when an email has been read, or a phone message listened to, but WhatsApp has that function which I think is great.

If you're someone who turns off the blue ticks, can you tell me why...

You really seriously need to reflect on your misunderstanding of control. You are equating a person's notification settings on their phone with secrecy.

Very concerning behaviour and honesty it would fit the criteria in a relationship as being abusive.

It’s weird to categorise it as secrecy, as if there is something furtive about it.

It may be that you’re quite young but this expectation that everyone knows exactly when you’re online and when you last checked WhatsApp and whether you’ve viewed messages etc. is a very new phenomenon and I have no faith that it’s a healthy development. There isn’t any need for us to have this much involvement or insight into one another’s lives. Only a very few years ago people happily sent texts with no way of knowing if they had been read, and we all survived and had significantly fewer issues regarding anxiety and mental ill-health.

There’s nothing secretive about deciding that you simply don’t fancy participating in this brand new social experiment where your behaviour is tracked and shared in real time with friends, family and acquaintances. I would argue it’s quite normal and understandable for people to be wary of that.

It's nobody's business but mine when I read or reply to messages. A text is not a summons. I'll answer in my own sweet time.

One of my adult DCs has his turned off. I don't really expect replies to most messages - absent some emergency. But I would like to see 'last active' time. That's just me being a worrier though. It's not my place to decide.

Mine are off because I’ll decide when to reply to someone. My life is busy I don’t have time to reply straight away sometimes or I just don’t want to reply straight away. I hate when people chase a message up that requires no immediate reply. Then get pissed if about being ignored. Far easier to have them off. If you don’t like that, tough shit

Yes I bloody hate it.

Loads of my friends do it.

😂😂😂

It isn't negative it is my opinion based on what I believe is sound logic. Your very own reply confirms you do it due to worrying about pressure and anxiety to reply which indicates a confidence issue? So kinda confirms my point 🤷‍♀️

If you want to share a counter opinion, instead of having a meaningless dig at me for no reason, I am open to others views.

This is true, but WhatsApp did for a while put an end to all those "did you get my text?" follow ups.

And your reply confirms I would be justified in being anxious about people’s views because they’ll go out of their way to interpret completely benign or neutral behaviours as manipulation or lack of confidence!

I have gone through life generally assuming the best of people and not assuming malicious intent in their actions and it has served me well, you should try it.

I certainly don’t have any personal problem with leaving messages unread but having had people follow up with questions about whether I’m ignoring them or if they’ve annoyed me (very much betraying the insecurity of the people who NEED TO KNOW their message has been read) I’ve decided it’s a world less hassle just to switch the damn things off.

Instead you get ‘is everything ok?’ follow ups from people getting anxious or annoyed that you’ve read and not replied.

I think controlling is a leap. But I agree it is annoying 😁

Mine are turned off. My online status and notifications are also turned off. People don't need to know if i've read their message and I like to reply at my own pace.

If its something urgent, then they'll usually call not whatsapp.

Why do you need to know they’ve seen it or not?

I don’t get that at all.

Surely they’ll just reply when they can - whether that’s as soon as they’ve read it or they’ll read it and respond later.

@PrincessOfPreschool

just whhyyyyyyyy

communication really is being wrecked by the crazy.

This

Isn't it all a bit pointless anyway? I read message from the notification and only open them when I'm ready to reply. So, I've often seen them long before I actually reply. I do it that way because then the notification stays up to remind me.

Yeah I would think your view is the controlling one OP and not the other way round

I have mine on but don’t have an issue with the friends that do have it off. If they reply great, if they don’t then I will either phone if I absolutely need a response or just ignore it. If they miss out on something then that’s on them

I do have the last seen online switched off which I also know annoys people. But obsessing over that is worse than the blue ticks stalking imo

I find it very controlling that you want to see exactly when someone has read your message. And that you didn't put a poll with this post because you knew how it would go.

I do this too.

So I have the blue ticks enabled but I would have read it before it shows anyway, so using the blue ticks as evidence of me reading it is pointless.

This. I am constantly online for work and want time off being pressured into responding.

Why is 'left on read' even a thing? Surely if someone reads but doesn't reply straight away you just think they're busy and they'll get back to me when they can?? I do anyway, you can't expect instant responses to things people are busy.

There’s another reason this baffles me.

How is a conversation supposed to end if people complain about being left on read?

I didn’t actually realise how many people found it upsetting until I saw it on here. so I don’t think anyone I mix with has been upset by it.

I also had to explain to my last boyfriend that I am not bothered about it. If it’s something that requires a reply, then it’s different - but people seem to be messaging each other during the working day or any time really and being upset that they’re left “on read”.

I have had a couple of threads about friendship and it came up a lot that people are angry about messaging expectations. I was talking about people who haven’t been in touch for months or even years!

But there were quite a few angry posts from people saying they didn’t have time for those who expect instant replies. Neither would I.

It had genuinely never occurred to me that people are being bombarded with ridiculous expectations from their friends or family.

although it’s a great shame if people are being classified as irritating when we are not the ones expecting Instaplies!

I've had mine off for years, and will never turn it back on. I like to reply in my own time, and can't be dealing with "it takes a minute to reply - I know they have read it!" Bullshit.

If anyone needs an answer straight away or the information is that important they can call me directly.

Personally I would love to get an old Nokia phone again and just use old fashioned text messages. Then I wouldn't get addicted/distracted by other apps. But everyone uses watts app so it's a bit of can't beat them join them situation.

I didn't put a poll because I'm on the app and they don't have the option.

I HATE WHATSAPP
We all have our own way of going mad & if I could change how this makes me feel.... trust me, I would.

I can't stand anyone who has their last seen on and is on WhatsApp quite often but didn't reply or open your message.
I mean, wtf.
This boils my blood. I've stopped messaging the people that do this.
You can reply to everyone else but ignore me, it's how I believe it to be. So I'm taking myself out I'd this situation but not texting you again.

I also hate the reading of a WhatsApp and not replying.

I wish this didn't annoy me and I've turned off my last seen and my online so I can't see other people's.