To be annoyed at people who turn off 'read' receipts on WhatsApp?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

So basically you will never get blue ticks from them.

I know a few people who do this and it really annoys me because I now assume they've seen it but don't rant to reply. I keep my ticks on because sometimes I'm not able to check my phone frequently. I'd rather someone know I haven't seen their message yet, not that I'm ignoring them, or maybe I have seen it and just forgotten to reply - so they can prompt me.

I find it weirdly controlling that someone doesn't want me know they've read my message. Of course, you don't know when an email has been read, or a phone message listened to, but WhatsApp has that function which I think is great.

If you're someone who turns off the blue ticks, can you tell me why...

Twofold: I don’t worry that others will be offended that I’ve left them “on read” and I don’t get anxious if someone else has left me “on read”. Double win. My life is so much better since I turned them off.

Didn’t know you could turn them off. I’d love to know how to turn ON read receipts for emails though. That would have been very useful recently when someone I needed to speak to urgently seemed to be ignoring me.

My friend has hers off because she has an awful ex husband and she doesn’t want him to know when she has read his messages

my ex had his off as part of his many efforts to cover his tracks for affairs….

there are loads of reasons to have them off!

I have mine on….. I use peoples what’s app etiquette to help me form opinions of how close I should be to them…. For instance if I ever got grief from someone for not replying when I had read message I would be distancing myself.

I turned them off because I feel pressurised to reply and I don’t want to feel like that. Some people are very entitled and controlling and badgering for quick replies to non important stuff and I can’t take the stress of them.

My friend only recently did this when she realised her husband could see she was online all the time. The reason she was online all the time is because she is having an affair and they conduct all messages through WhatsApp as she can archive the chats so they don’t appear on her phone when he messages her.
she was waiting until she thought he was asleep to message her side piece. Her husband wasn’t asleep but he noticed every night when he went to bed she wouldn’t come up for hours. He had other suspicions like the sudden over time. So looked at her WhatsApp to see she was online all the time.
When he asked her about it she said she was chatting with friends and has since changed all her settings so you can’t see anything about her activity.
This is what she told me by the way. I had no clue you could do any of this as hadn’t thought too deeply about it before.

Is it really that important in the grand scheme of things....

The only times I've really cared about this have been when DC have been travelling in farflung parts of the world. So yes, it is controlling to want them on; and yes, of course they had anyway turned them off.

I have mine on, as generally I like people to see I've read it, but I wish you could turn them off on some numbers as certain friends would see I've read and if I didn't reply would message again for a response. I also use it for clients, and would rather they don't see when I've read it, so I can reply in work hours. Now I normally read messages from notifications, so they don't know if I've read them. My boyfriend has them off and it drives me mad as I don't know if he's read it or not, so I get where you're coming from

I know, but she doesn’t have many friends (because she’s like this!) and I feel bad for her. She’s just lonely and a bit needy.

What a strange assumption!

The fact that you have both thought about it and made that judgement on others based on their WhatsApp settings tells me you are a little judgemental in life, and if that was any of my so called friends I would be distancing myself from them.

I'm not judgemental, just observant. I have friends that are uptight and friends that are laid back, I accept them as they are. But very laid back people don't tend to bother turning off read receipts as they don't really care if people know they've seen the messages or not!

"I'm not judgemental, just observant. I have friends that are uptight and friends that are laid back, I accept them as they are. But very laid back people don't tend to bother turning off read receipts as they don't really care if people know they've seen the messages or not!"

Hmmmm. Not observant really. Just unable to look at reasons why some may choose to turn the read receipts off. Observant people would have noted the many reasons on this thread alone, and realised it's not being uptight.

It's just an observation and in my experience it's usually accurate based on the people I know. Obviously I'm sure there are exceptions, I'm not claiming this is a scientific study 😂 The people I know who have read receipts turned off are often the type to overthink these things. My DH is the most laid back person I've ever met and he didn't realise read receipts existed.

When you have controlling people in your life, that use every means to control and bait you, its wise to turn off the read receipts. Sadly it is all or nothing, you cannot select just one person. However sometimes, even with friends, you simply do not have time to reply and the fact they do not know you have read it, gives you breathing space or time to decide your answer. You may unfortunately find this an inconvenience or be excessively annoyed if you are controlling. Look deep within and quell the feeling.

If it's urgent would you not call instead of email?

Trouble was they wouldn’t answer the telephone either. Or call me back. Would have been good to know if they’d read the email.

Didn’t realise you could turn the blue tick off. I am now off to turn it off so the pressure to reply straight away does exist anymore 😊

🤭 surely there are other things to be upset about? Why does it matter if they’ve read it or not? When they have and they are ready or able to reply, they will. If they don’t and therefore miss out on something, that’s their problem not yours. Perhaps you’re the one with the control issues needing to know as and when someone reads your messages…life’s too short..let it go 🤷🏻‍♀️

I recently cut contact with people…but to avoid more drama just ghosted them…so I turned the read notification off so they can’t see if I have read or not. It does it for all people on WhatsApp not just one singular person though.

So I wouldn’t take it personally. It’s most likely one person (not you) they want to avoid 😂

What does it matter if you know if you've seen it?
Just because I've seen something it doesn't mean I've had time to reply.
If it's important then ring them. If they're not busy they'll answer.

I find it weirdly controlling when people need to know when I’ve read their message.

Mine’s off because of people like you tbh. It’s none of your business whether I’ve read the message or not. I bet you get all flustered when you’re left on read. People have other stuff in their life than replying to messages. I don’t want people to know if I’ve read it and cba replying.

I'm sure this has been made clear, but:
1 grey tick - sent but not received
2 grey ticks - received but either not read or no read receipt
2 blue ticks - read

Someone does not need to have read receipts turned on for you to see if your message was received.

It is not controlling in any way to turn them off. It absolutely is controlling to be annoyed if people do turn them off, and I'm astounded OP doesn't seem to have acknowledged this. Being annoyed about others maintaining some small aspect of their own privacy is controlling, regardless of why it annoys you. They have not prevented you from seeing if your message was delivered.

So many of you saying you need people to have them on, wtf??? That is a complete you problem. You do not need anyone to have them on, their phone, their life, their business how and when they reply. I’m not on anyone’s timescale, I don’t need nor want anyone to know when I was last online so they can message me about a message I haven’t replied to that doesn’t even need a reply to then have it turn into I’m ignoring someone. That is drama that is not happening in my life. You will get my reply when I’m ready. How did you all cope before last seen and blue ticks? Ridiculous

I have some difficult family dynamics. In order to support me not going absolutely mental; I need to be able to control when I see messages from certain people and when I reply.
You can’t just turn off read receipts on WhatsApp from certain people; it’s all or nothing.
I have these people archived so I can choose when I see their messages and I don’t have read receipts on so I can choose when I reply without being hassled.
(and obviously my life would be better without them in it, but that’s a different thread!)