To be annoyed at people who turn off 'read' receipts on WhatsApp?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

So basically you will never get blue ticks from them.

I know a few people who do this and it really annoys me because I now assume they've seen it but don't rant to reply. I keep my ticks on because sometimes I'm not able to check my phone frequently. I'd rather someone know I haven't seen their message yet, not that I'm ignoring them, or maybe I have seen it and just forgotten to reply - so they can prompt me.

I find it weirdly controlling that someone doesn't want me know they've read my message. Of course, you don't know when an email has been read, or a phone message listened to, but WhatsApp has that function which I think is great.

If you're someone who turns off the blue ticks, can you tell me why...

I don't want to feel pressured to reply. I've never felt the need to check if someone else has seen my message, I just wait.

You know when it's been received though because it displays 2 ticks when it's been delivered.

I always keep my read receipts on but I dont give a toss if others dont.

I dont worry if they have read my message or not because we all know most people are checking their phone constantly (at least everyone I know does this anyway!) so I presume they will have read it at some point or another.

If they dont reply, then I always assume it's because they dont want to and just get on with my life. I refuse to chase people up to ensure they have read my messages. If they have no interest in replying then fine by me, I just move on. No big deal.

I find it weirdly controlling when people regularly check to see if and when I've received the message! My time is my own and I'll reply in my own convenience, not within a certain timescale of when I've read the message.

I put the read receipts off due to a very demanding friend of mine who, when she saw you'd read the message and not yet replied, would send enojis as if to say hello?? Yeah, I'm not entertaining that shit.

This exactly - I know what my priorities are not the sender !

I turned mine off because my mum will badger me if she sees I've seen a message and not immediately replied. In doing so it applies to everyone in my contacts but that's the price they pay for my mums poor impulse control and lack of patience😅 it also means I can't see read receipts either.

I leave my blue ticks on, as my friends are normal people who don't expect instant replies. It's fine to take hours, or even a couple of days to reply, because we all have lives! But to complain that people turn the blue ticks off is bizarre - and, yes, very controlling.

The other thing to keep in mind @PrincessOfPreschool and @Ellie1015 is that blue ticks are not necessarily a guarantee of the recipient having seen a message. Before I turned the ticks off, my watch would often flash up the message on its screen, but I wouldn't look, however it would then show the sender two blue ticks as though I'd read it. Also, if anyone uses WhatsApp Web, if that happens to be open on the relevant screen it can show two blue ticks to the transmitter without the recipient even being in the same building as the machibe the message has been received on.

So, two blue ticks doesn't guarantee anything.

Mine are off as sometimes I like to pretend I haven’t seen a message. Mainly because my boss is a controlling nightmare who messages me all hours and expects instant replies.

We have a work group chat, which I mute every evening/weekend/holiday, but she’s learned that if she @s me, she can bypass the mute.

I also have the notifications set so that I can read a message through my Lock Screen so I don’t have to actually open the message

I turned mine off. It's just to gain some more privacy. Nowadays with technology every body is "available" all the time. I just want to put that boundary there.

Most people I message have their ticks turned off.

I don't think it's as controlling to want the blue ticks on as that's the default option.

I don't get this at all. So, if the default were 'off' then having it 'on' would be controlling?

Incidentally, the reason that the default is 'on' is that Whatsapp wants you to 'engage' and having engaged 'interact'. And the best way to do that is to let you see whether something has changed. So...

...they haven't read it...

...they haven't read it...

...they haven't read it...

..they've read it!

Which means that you keep looking at your own message, to see whether the tick has changed colour. And when it does, you keep looking to see whether there's a reply yet.

So you're right in a way. You may not be controlling by having the blue ticks on. But it's possible that you're being controlled by it.

YABU. Take it up with them in person if it annoys you so much, instead of moaning on here!🙄

The world is full of insane people who really go out of their way to interpret things in the most negative and unreasonable way possible 😂

I turned mine off so that I don't feel pressured to answer straight away. Some.friends feel it's OK to message late at night, I have to keep my phone on due to elderly parents but sometimes I just want some downtime and don't want to get into conversations late in the evening when some friends have a habit of messaging so it gives me the chance to screen messages. However, one friend then messaged me querying why it was off (asking as a mutual friend also had hers off) and why I did that it made me feel awkward and they are back on again now. So instead my phone is on do not disturb between 9pm and 6am and parents ring DH if they need anything

I turned mine off. Those blue ticks fuck with people's minds. I also don't need anyone to know if I'm online. It's called privacy!

I have a few needy friends and relatives who can't bear it when their messages are read and not immediately replied to. Turning it off is best for everyone imo!

See it's my partner or son I usually Whatsapp. And usually to tell them something they need to know so if the blue ticks are turned off then I don't know if they have the info or ot.

Why would you feel pressured to reply though? I certainly don't, it's not difficult to read a message and think " I deal with that later" If there's any pressure then it's you doing it to yourself

My blue ticks are on, but I have turned off my last online status. It’s such a welcome feature because if I haven’t replied to a message, you can’t see I’ve been online and just ignored it. (I don’t ignore messages, I just sometimes need a minute)

Is it people doing it to themselves though? I don't know how you can argue that when some people are affronted by others turning the blue ticks off. To the extent they call it controlling and manipulative behaviour no less!! If you want the blue ticks on it's because you want to know whether people have read your messages. Therefore people DO care about that information? If there is genuinely no pressure and nobody cares, why the need for anyone to have their blue ticks on?

You’re lucky enough to only ever receive messages from sane and reasonable people but on more than one occasion I’ve had someone follow up a message to ask if they’ve annoyed me or why I’m ignoring them when I’ve read a message and not replied right away.

The blue ticks make people needy and deranged. By turning them off I don’t have to deal with the issue and I’m saving them from ‘left on read’ anxiety.

I have mine on but have the 'online' function off.

I think your insistence that others have it on is fat more controlling than those who turn it off.

I hate society's current want of constant and immediate communication.

That's a good point at the end. It is an interactive platform so that's all part of it.

Actually I'm not really a controlling person at all, but I'm pretty open and I really dislike secrecy. The fact you can CHOOSE not to let people know you've read messages just doesn't sit well with me. But I'm seeing why people do choose that now. I never feel pressured to answer, I actively want people to know I've read (or not yet seen) their messages. So I guess if you do feel pressured to answer immediately or have needy friends and family, or you are a very private person, then you might turn the ticks off.

Well id definitely ignore those people

Another who laughed at the irony of you not seeing how controlling is it to want to know if and when someone has read your message or not.

I have them turned off and also my notifications so I only see new messages if I actually go on WhatsApp. It might sound dramatic but my life is better for it and my mind is calmer.

I have hundreds of unread messages on WhatsApp, a few from individuals but mostly from the many groups I’ve been added to - usually without asking my permission first. Several are for work and many were added with parenthood. Yes, I could just leave those ones - I couldn’t just leave my work ones I’ve been told - but I stay to be polite and in the loop with plans for play dates and things. When life is hectic enough, I don’t want the added pressure or chore to have to reply to others fairly quickly because they’ve seen I’ve read their message.

My lovely DIL has her blue ticks off-she said it stressed her out and felt pressured.

My DS has his off because he works in cybersecurity and as a result has pretty much come off of social media/removed the ticks. Don't think he likes thinking ppl know his movements/when he is online etc