To be annoyed at people who turn off 'read' receipts on WhatsApp?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

So basically you will never get blue ticks from them.

I know a few people who do this and it really annoys me because I now assume they've seen it but don't rant to reply. I keep my ticks on because sometimes I'm not able to check my phone frequently. I'd rather someone know I haven't seen their message yet, not that I'm ignoring them, or maybe I have seen it and just forgotten to reply - so they can prompt me.

I find it weirdly controlling that someone doesn't want me know they've read my message. Of course, you don't know when an email has been read, or a phone message listened to, but WhatsApp has that function which I think is great.

If you're someone who turns off the blue ticks, can you tell me why...

My blue ticks are off because sometimes I'll read a message and then not have time or the desire to reply in that moment. I'm busy with work and a baby, so those are my priorities.

When I had blue ticks on I'd get follow up messages like "??" Or "hellooooo?" which frankly piss me off. I'll respond in my own time and don't like to be pestered!

Exactly Ellie, thank you.

It is not about the reply or when I get it. It's about knowing it's been received.

Oh I do love AIBU!

Mine are off. I haven’t even really got a reason apart from that I don’t want other people knowing if I’ve read a message or not 🤷🏻‍♀️. I also am not arsed about knowing whether someone has read my message. I assume they’ll reply if they want to, or not if they don’t.

I didn’t know I could do this - how do I turn off the blue ticks?

We have colleagues who do that in teams too.

IMO it shows either a lack of confidence or a manipulative personality. They either bend easily to a pressure to reply, or are trying to manipulate the context somehow by denying they have read it yet.

If I read a message I have no problem with the person knowing I have read it but have chosen not to answer immediately for whatever reason.

Because I don't want you prompting me to reply if I haven't responded 'quick enough'. I'll decide when it's convenient for me to reply thanks.

If it's something time-sensitive like booking tickets for something and I haven't replied yet, call me.

Thanks for this thread. I didn’t know you could turn them off both on WhatsApp and MS Teams, I’ve turned off for both and feel better already. I hate the pressure of having read something and being expected to respond immediately. If someone’s that desperate to contact me, I’d prefer they give me a call.

I have the CHOICE to turn off read receipts and last seen and I do because I don’t want people to go “she can read my message but not reply or she was online 10mins ago but didn’t bother to read my message” etc.

i think people forget that my mobile phone is for MY convenience and i will reply to messages when I choose to do so.

and you may see my choice as controlling- it is my right to choose how much access a person has to me and this includes read receipts.

Brilliant analysis, thank you@Marblessolveeverything

Controlling? Wtf? Sorry, op that's bonkers.

I don't get where you're coming from at all.

Why do you NEED to see if it's been read not just delivered?

Mine are off because it’s no one’s business if I’ve read their message. I also get anxiety around whether other people have read my message so switching them off solves both problems. I think it’s more controlling that you’d rather know when people have read your message

My phone is for MY convenience, no one else’s.

I can read my messages without opening them (they appear on my lock screen) so the blue tick visibility function is obsolete to a degree @PrincessOfPreschool

I've had both my online status and read receipts turned off for ages. It's unhealthy to keep checking if someone has read your message or not and anticipate a response. Conversely, I cannot see if my message was delivered or the last time someone was online- and quite frankly, I don't care.

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The ticks are always grey for me. I'm always perplexed when people talk about blue ticks on here.

No, I don't think it's as controlling to want the blue ticks on as that's the default option. If you turn off the blue ticks, it also means they don't know if I've read their messages. Sometimes I don't see messages for long periods and sometimes I forget to reply all together! I just think it's transparent if someone knows a message has been read or not.

It's only transparent if everyone is using those blue ticks the same way as you. How do you know your friends and family would come back to a message after a while and see you hadn't read and just assume it means you aren't ignoring them? You can read WhatsApp messaging from the notification screen on many phones which wouldn't make the ticks blue. I know people who do it that way to see if a message needs urgent attention or if it can wait.

If I don't get a reply to message I never went back and checked the ticks, I just assume they're busy and havent had time or have forgotten as they have other priorities.

I mean this kindly, I see you used "peace of mind" in a previous post and it sounds like you maybe put emotional value into those blue ticks and assume others do. Thats the exact reason some people turn them off, to avoid confusion and/or conflict as not everyone interprets them the same way as you. You assume that others go back and check your blue ticks and would know you weren't ignoring them if it's not been opened yet, some actually would feel if you'd been online since it was sent that you were deliberately not opening the message from them, or that you'd read it from the notification and decided they weren't important enough to be a priority to you.

The peace of mind you have from choosing to keep them on, is the peace of mind others get from turning them off.

I didn't even know you could do that- thanks OP!

Mine are off. If it's "I'm in Sainsburys is there anything you want me to pick up for you?" then I'll reply. If it's "I'm in Sainsburys and just seen Beryl, you'll never guess what she's just told me"....then, nah can't be arsed with that. Maybe your messages don't warrant a reply sometimes because that person doesn't find them interesting.

Thx, brilliant 😝 I’ll do this.

On my phone half the message on WhatsApp usually pops up as a notification, so I can get the gist of it. There are a few people I CBA to interact with (extended family) and so I don’t open it for days, but know what it’s about. I’ll respond days later. I reckon it really annoys them, but I don’t care.

If all my family are home, and I’ve checked in with my parents, there’s no need for me to have my phone on me.

I’m off now to remove all my statuses. There is one person who messages me out of work about gossip/ politics/ issues and if I don’t answer, I’ll have 2 or 3 subsequent ones asking why I’ve not answered. I’ve not found the words yet to articulate what I want to say; “FFS stop texting me after work when I’m eating dinner/ kicking back with a glass of red/ watching the telly/ chillin with my family. I’m not at work, and I don’t f*cking care if Angela from Accounts is leaving. Get a life”.

I haven't turned off the blue ticks, partly because I didn't know you could, but mostly because I only chat to DH with that app and wouldn't feel the need. It can be helpful to know if the other person has seen a message or not, but it's obvious why someone might want to lower the feeling of pressure to respond immediately.

It's the same as peeking at the beginning of a message in your phone's notifications without opening it to read the whole thing. If I open it and the person can see it's been read, I feel like I 'have' to respond soon. Sometimes I just want to live my life without that pressure to drop everything and answer a message, especially when it requires me to make a decision or craft a more carefully worded reply.

Mine are off because that's how you ensure you also don't see when someone has read your messages. I found knowing someone had read my message and hadn't replied could make me over analyse and get upset, so I switched it off for my own benefit

Mine are off because I'm too fucking busy to be beholden to someone wondering why I've not replied yet

It's not selective. It's all or nothing. Very egotistical of you to think that they specifically don't want you knowing they've read your message.

Do you not think it's far more likely they don't want someone else knowing they've read their message?

I can think of various reasons why some people would like to keep this notification private.

agree! but this was after several WhatsApp friends/family did it and I thought ok I shall do the same!