To be annoyed at people who turn off 'read' receipts on WhatsApp?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

So basically you will never get blue ticks from them.

I know a few people who do this and it really annoys me because I now assume they've seen it but don't rant to reply. I keep my ticks on because sometimes I'm not able to check my phone frequently. I'd rather someone know I haven't seen their message yet, not that I'm ignoring them, or maybe I have seen it and just forgotten to reply - so they can prompt me.

I find it weirdly controlling that someone doesn't want me know they've read my message. Of course, you don't know when an email has been read, or a phone message listened to, but WhatsApp has that function which I think is great.

If you're someone who turns off the blue ticks, can you tell me why...

I automatically assumed that those who have it turned off have read my message anyway, probably on preview. It annoys me too

I mean- lighthearted. Jesus.

Unless it's super important I really don't see that it matters. If it's just a general chatty how are you message, I'd assume they've read it when they finally reply, whenever that is. If it's an important message/question that needs answering quickly (teens I'm looking at you) then it can be a pain if you don't know if it's been read.

The type of people who get annoyed about read receipts, when people are online, how long they take to reply etc are always fucking loons.

I have my read receipts off and my privacy settings to maximum, precisely because of ridiculous experiences with people like the OP.

Blue ticks are off.

You'll never know if I've read you message.

If someone sends me a snotty message on any medium I often will not answer quickly. Prefer to let them stew a bit and ruminant on the potential consequences of their actions - preferably over a week end if I am not interested in diffusing the situation. This really boils some peoples piss, especially if they are not sure whether they should have done it or not.

The problem is, seeing the blue tick doesn't mean it's been read.

If you message me I am likely to glance at the message if I'm at work or at the shops etc. if it's more than one line I likely won't actually read it at that time. But you will see the blue tick and assume I have read it and I'm now ignoring you. Which isn't the case at all.

YABU. So unreasonable.

No one is obliged to read and respond to any messages straight away. We all have busy lives and seeing a message doesn't mean you have time or headspace to respond.

Turning off receipts just removes the agro for anxious/upright/demanding people deciding whether the time you have since reading a message/being online is too long or not.

I turned mine off as soon as I got WhatsApp, I've never looked back and encouraged everyone else I know to do the same ✌️

WhatsApp is a stalking app and you sound very much like a stalker

Mine are off, because otherwise my husband will send me inane messages like "shall I buy this bag of crisps?" and then send
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because he can see I've read it and have not replied. Yes he knows it's irritating! He's just apparently incapable of making a decision on his own lol.

I have this feature turned off everywhere I can because I have a friend who the second they see me active will start talking at me. And I’d I don’t reply they will hound me via another app or something and I just can’t deal with it. People are not owed my time instantly. I’ll reply if and when I’m ready to.

This!

Because I don’t want the intrusion of people knowing when I read their message and I don’t need to know when they read mine. For me it just adds to the constant comms and social media immediacy of everything. I would prefer to turn it off for group messages but I don’t think you can. I think when a friend said she could see I was online at 4am it felt a bit too much…

I just think it's transparent if someone knows a message has been read or not.

No-one owes you transparency though, just because you prefer things one way, not everyone has to fall in line. How did you cope before whatsapp where you couldn't tell if someone read your message/email/whatever?

It's a shame you can't selectively turn off read receipts though. I am happy for my close friends and family to know I have read a message, but not so much random school mums harassing for playdates or work people asking inane questions. So I turn it off for everyone,,

It’s handy for school stuff eg parties so you can see if someone knows something is on for example- didn’t know you could switch it off!!

I turned mine off for the opposite reason. Many years ago I was dating a guy and I could feel him drifting away. Seeing that he had read my messages but not replied was driving me crazy. I knew it was unreasonable, he was probably just busy, so I turned off the ability to see when people are online and have read messages before I got into an unhealthy spiral of checking if he'd read my messages. Never turned it back on again. Consequently no one can see if I've read their messages either but I'm not too bothered either way about that.

I have all my read receipts off, and my last online status!

Honestly I think everything has come too far. Some apps pinpoint your location, the exact time you were last online at, and whether or not you have read a message. And worse still, some people contacting you actually check all of these things regularly until they get a reply. Where's the sense of privacy? Why is it so vital for you to know whether I've read the message? Its all too much.Bring back the Blockia!!!

For other apps such as my work app, I read the messages outside of hours and base the need to reply on importance. If there's a read receipt, there's more pressure to reply out of hours.

Mine are off because I had a person in my life who expected immediate reply would go on all the different messenger platforms and see if I was online if they didn't get a reply on one and then I'd be sent a load of abusive messages about how awful I was. It was horrible and even the sound of a message coming through would make me anxious. Thankfully no longer have this person in my life .

As many have said. People turn the blue ticks off because of people like you.

Because I don’t want the pressure of having to reply immediately if I’ve read a message. I don’t show when I was last online for the same reason.

I turn mine off my own mental health and well being, because I have people in my life who expect replies quicker than I can do, who do things like see me online on WhatsApp and 10.02 and then get angry that I haven't replied or read their message by 10.10.

I have various health problems that affect my ability to get my words in order at times and getting shitty comments about how it would only have taken me a few moment to reply made me feel stupid and like a shit person because it takes me longer at times. I grew up with adults teaching me I must be emotionally available to everyone at all time, prioritise their feelings and wants and if I didn't I'd be punished.

I have really low self esteem and very poor boundaries, a childhood shaped by adults who didn't allow me my own feelings or emotions and who were explosive with moods and sometimes violent, sometimes towards me. Every decision I made that they didn't like I'd be guilted into changing my mind.

I had very high levels of anxiety all my life and never really realised that's what it was because it's been there since toddlerhood, worrying about upsetting people I love made me develop a very unhealthy people pleasing mindset and would make myself physically ill with anxiety and stress and negative thoughts about myself. It's taken me until my 40s to and therapy to realise how fucked up my beliefs about myself are.

I am not "weirdly controlling" turning my ticks off, it was one of the very few small steps on a very long road to actually not being controlled. It's interesting how you think people have turned them off to stop you from seeing them. Why do you feel it's done to prevent you seeing the read status instead of something just generally turning them off for their own reasons?

@PrincessOfPreschool I turn mine off as I work on the basis that if something is important, then the person messaging me will phone me. WhatsApp, SMS and email are all low priority methods of communication. I feel that turning read receipts off assists other people to understand the way I use my phone, and will help them to phone me if something is important. If they message any other way, I'll answer when it suits me.

I've turned mine off.

I don't want to feel pressured to reply immediately. I may be having a day of hiding from the world or not want to answer straight away because I need to consider my reply.

It seems that everyone wants immediacy. Well, sorry, I'm human, not an AI chatbot.

I have absolutely no problem with that at all! You can take as long as you like. I do have a problem with not knowing if they've seen it.

Mine are off because I absolutely hate the kind of batshittery of people who think because I've read their message I should immediately reply. One too many "why have you left me on read?" messages from needy, chronically online people in my life was enough.

Nobody is obligated to be available to you 100% of the time.

I do have a problem with not knowing if they've seen it.

Honestly, that is way more a you problem than anyone else's problem. You really need to ask yourself why it bothers you so much. It is HIGHLY controlling to want to know when people have read your message. What did you do in the days before WhatsApp enabled this feature?