Aibu to want to homeschool my child with everything going on

[Ella2001]

Has anyone heard of that horrid south port attack 3 children died from 17 year old boy stabbing them at a Taylor Swift dance class? 😭 with stabbings in uk AIBU to wanna home school her ? I’m honestly soo scared to send her to school. She’s only 9 months but I keep on thinking for her future . I’m in Northern Ireland I know this awful attack happened in England but it happens everywhere and I’m genuinely terrified for my baby.

I don't think you're being unreasonable as the world is a scary place, however, you can't live in fear and hide away. It can be downright scary being a mum (especially when your baby is an actual baby) seeing all the badness in the world and having anxiety. Those intrusive thoughts are something else and I wouldn't minimise the damage they can do if left unsupported.

Reach out for help and support and remember that these are not everyday things and there is lots of goodness out there and positive things for your wee one to learn especially when they go to school … and that is coming from someone who has fought the school system for seven years. I'd still recommend parents at least try a school system before going to home-schooling.

Cheer up, cuddle the wee one, eat a wee biscuit and think positive where you can.

“It happens everywhere”

Youre being VERY melodramatic, it doesn’t happen everywhere or even often. Such attacks are random and rare and it didn’t happen at a school anyway. What are you going to do ? Stop her leaving the house until she’s 11? 16? 21? Never?

There are things to worry about when bringing up children and these lightning strikes aren’t amongst them.

@x2boys yes and is now on the whole a peaceful place. Unfortunately the British press make lots of money reporting the shit bits as they do on their own land.
If your not stupid enough to get involved in nonsense here your very safe. It's statistically and culturally safer than the main land.

Of course YABU. If that is your attitude towards things then you may as well lock your child at home forever. What happened is awful but you cannot let it control your life - the actual risk to your DD (or any of us) is minuscule. You’d be doing her a massive injustice by needlessly depriving her of the social opportunities that school brings.

I am also in NI - I’ve never felt that my DD is unsafe at school. Don’t let your own anxieties project upon your DD’s childhood.

I don't think they literally mean locking her up.

But if you don't want her to go to school because of what happened yesterday I think people are assuming you won't be taking her to any group activities with other children for the same reason.

And that would result in a very isolated and sheltered life for your child, which could be damaging in the long-term.

So tell me how home schooling will totally protect her?

If you think that school is too dangerous for her then this reasoning would suggest that you shouldn’t be taking her out to events, busy public places etc either? That is no way for a child to live OP. Please get help for your own anxiety before it hits your DD too.

DD has a friend with a parent like you. She is the only 18 year old that I’ve ever known who is afraid to go abroad or fly due to the risk of terrorists. It’s ridiculous.

100% this

I think you are having an understandable, albeit illogical, response to a truly terrible happening OP.
When awful things happen it is not surprising that we feel anxious but you have to keep things in perspective. There are risks in the world, always have been and always will be, but in reality the probability of being stabbed is still thankfully a very small one. You can take reasonable precautions to keep your child safe such as ensuring they are adequately supervised, avoiding places where you know crime rates are higher if possible, educating them about risks as they grow up and so on but you can't mitigate for everything. And you can't live your life afraid of every possible disaster.
Professionally, I have seen and been involved in some horrific things, including several major incidents, one terrorist related others not. Yes, it shakes you up and you do think "what if that was me/my loved one" but we cannot live our lives in continual fear.
It's not unusual to feel like you do now but if this level of anxiety is a persistent problem I agree with those who have suggested that you talk to your GP.
I think part of the issue is that news coverage is now so unrelenting that we can get the impression that these kind of things are commoner than they really are. Yes, knife crime is a problem, that is undeniable and we shouldn't minimise that. But nor should we see bogey men around every corner and be afraid to live our lives.

How will you prepare her for navigating the world once she's ready to break free?

What happened is awful beyond measure, but we cannot and must not react in such a way that exacerbates our children's anxiety. They need resilience to deal with the cruel world they will eventually have to exist in.

"Of course I'm not like that"

Who says? You?

You sound like you want to lock her up? Because of the works we live in.

Everyone who love their children, wants to keep them safe? What sets you aside that it's more important that you go to extreme lengths?

Children should mix with other children and adults and away from their parents - anything else seems very unhealthy and limiting

You risk protecting from one form of harm ( very rare) and exposing your children to a much greater risk of harm

Guys as I’ve written here about 10 times , I’m getting help for my anxiety , it was an irrational thought and I apologise to anyone I’ve offended .I know it doesn’t make alot of sense what I’ve written and I understand. School is safe for kids here and I wasn’t thinking, i wont home school her and I deffo won’t be keeping her locked up from anything , no one knows me , I bring my child to the park everyday , shopping etc as I’m a single mum so she comes with me everywhere whilst she’s young , so no , I’m not keeping her indoors forever , I’m anxious but I’m not projecting it onto her . I know it can happen anywhere but school , for some reason it was the first thing that popped in my head . I’m sorry

I do understand OP - it might be worth asking MN to take the thread down as you now see the error in your thoughts.

So will you risk the shops, library, park? It is still a rare event which is why it makes the news you can't live in fear crossing the road is far more risky.

I think you’re getting a really hard time here OP. There’s a world of difference in feeling like you want to protect your 9 month old from the horrors of the world and actually preventing them from leaving the house. I suffered with anxiety after the birth of my first and had some fairly irrational fears at the time. None of which I would ever have acted on in reality. I did have that feeling of wanting to keep her away from anything that could possibly harm her.

It will pass as they get older and getting treatment for anxiety will help. Just wanted to say that you won’t be the only parent of a small child feeling anxious about what happened.

You're joking right? Schools are exam factories, not places to socialise and make friends. You get detention for speaking or having your skirt the wrong length. Kids leave school with more mental illnesses, than GCSEs

If that is your attitude then you’re obviously sending your children to the wrong school. Like anything there are good and bad ones.

Home Educating is fantastic and is effectively a tailor made education for your child if done correctly. There's also a thriving Home Educating community here in NI who can and will offer support and as much socialisation as you and your DC want, there's meet ups and groups and clubs if you want them or simply educational activities on an ad hoc basis. We all Home Educate for many different reasons and there's no need for judgement but I do think that by the time your DD is CSA you might not be as anxious so make sure it's the right fit for your family then

How patronising are you! I don't generally watch/listen to news reports, unless it's something I've heard about elsewhere. John Lennon had been dead for about 4 days before I knew about it though that was back before we were lucky (?) enough to have constant bombardment through the internet etc. I was a SAHM then and my OH wouldn't have registered it even if he'd heard about it at work.

It’s not patronising. It’s the year 2024, not 2000. Anyone on MN and therefore the internet will be getting their news instantly.

There’s nothing wrong with home educating if you’re committed to it, but even that doesn’t mean staying at home all the time. There are home education groups that you would be mad to ignore.

Part of raising a child is giving them varied experiences and you cannot do that without leaving your home. Visits to the park, going to the library, swimming, holidays, theatre trips, going to church, joining clubs such as Brownies, football, music lessons etc….. the list goes on.

You simply cannot raise a child without exposing them to the outside world in a variety of different ways. You can assess and manage some of the risks but nobody could have anticipated the appalling situation that happened in Southport this week.

@SwordToFlamethrower I've still got school friends? I'd suggest if you didn't make friends it's an issue with you.

Having read your comments, I can see why and I fear for your daughter.

Poor child!

@JudgeJ I'd suggest reading the news is more beneficial than being on MN 🤷‍♀️

This.