Aibu to want to homeschool my child with everything going on

[Ella2001]

Has anyone heard of that horrid south port attack 3 children died from 17 year old boy stabbing them at a Taylor Swift dance class? 😭 with stabbings in uk AIBU to wanna home school her ? I’m honestly soo scared to send her to school. She’s only 9 months but I keep on thinking for her future . I’m in Northern Ireland I know this awful attack happened in England but it happens everywhere and I’m genuinely terrified for my baby.

If you home school your child you are probably quite likely to use activities like these and send them to groups, where they may be in buildings that don’t have the same safeguarding restrictions in place eg mag locks, intercoms so actually could be less safe than a school building

Definitely not putting my issues on to her , I’m getting help for my anxiety and mask it infront of my daughter so she doesn’t see . This attack really scared me and obviously has triggered the fear for my child especially cause the attack was on children . But no it’s not gonna stop me from doing fun things with her , even if I’m feeling anxious about it I wouldn’t show her

There were probably home educated children there. Home education doesn't mean your child is kept away from everything and everyone.

I think you're having an understandable reaction to this event which is wishing you could keep your child in a protective bubble forever but choosing to HE for this would be the wrong reason.

I’m honestly soo scared to send her to school.

You said this though? So it isn't a leap to assume you would be too scared to send her anywhere

Statistically, those of us living in what we might call the Western World have never led such safe lives - we are far far more likely to die from our own overindulgence of the cornucopia of riches than modern life has given us than at the hands individual violent people. Events like what happened in Soutport are dreadful, rare and almost impossible to mitigate against fully. We cannot live our lives, or order our children's lives around something that is exceptionally rare.

We now simply know far more about 'all that's happening in the world' - anyone who knows anything about history would say that we live in bloody paradise compared to most of human history.

It's not that we think you're going to lock her up and throw away the key. It's that she is far, far more likely to be killed or injured from normal daily activities (especially travelling in a car) than to be stabbed at school (which is incredibly unusual in the UK).

This is a you issue and it shouldn’t impact your daughter. I’ve not come across many home schooled kids but the few I have stand out a mile…terrible social skills, utterly unaware of the world around them, little experience of people with circumstances different to their own.

I get the anxiety OP - it's a horrible way to feel, think and live. But I do think it's a good idea for you to see a GP and talk it through so it doesn't spiral further. I hope you have real life support around you too to help.

Home schooling would not have protected the children in Southport.

Our DD is home ed due to SEN but I agree with others that this event isn’t a good reason to make a decision on that now. Apart from anything else your daughter isn’t even a year old. A lot can change in 3 or so years. The world can seem a very scary place at times I agree & it’s natural to want to shelter our children from that. But it is also our job to build resilience in our kids. That’s something I worry about home Ed as my Dd has less exposure to certain experiences. Home Ed is also really hard!

Well thank you to the very few people who were nice enough , I definitely didn’t think when I posted this and worded it wrong . Home schooling was maybe not the right motive .
my child probably won’t be homeschool as when she hits that age I’d of probably forgotten about this . I’m scared yes as any mum would be , but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t send her to school or events . Thanks for most of the input tho

As many have said, it is, thankfully, an extremely rare, however tragic. occurrence.
During the 80s we were working in a military environment and were constantly on our guard against terrorist attacks. My daughter recently found out that we never put the children in the car before we had checked round and under it, then switched on the ignition. I once taught in an open-plan school, all hexagonal units, and because of a situation we had armed guards outside the school and patrolling inside it, which could be a little disconcerting.
This was life as it was then but having taken precautions we never allowed the bastards to win, we still went about our normal family life,

How long are you planning to lock your child away for? All her life??

How on earth do you or any parent know they are hiding their issues? How many of us know things about our own parents that they think they have hidden

Children know

I'm just slightly rethinking that I know in America school shootings are sometimes cited as a factor in parents choosing to homeschool.

I don't know how valid that is as guns are a bigger thing in the United States, mass shootings still occur outside schools so I don't know how realistic statistically it is.

Needless to say the UK is different as regards mass school/group killings which are far far rarer.

They are stiill extremely rare events
And as terrible as they are we remember them as they are so rare .

read through I said I wouldn’t , my god

You're muddling up being nice and agreeing with you. It's fine for the majority to disagree with you on this one. It's a huge, life altering choice for your child so not one to make due to anxiety.

People saying I’m locking her up is just not very nice and not disagreeing ???

No you basically said you'd go everywhere with her which is equally damaging. Kids need independence when they are old enough for it.

We are a home ed family and voted that you are being unreasonable. These events are very upsetting but are thankfully rare, you shouldn’t be scared to let your children enjoy and experience life. As a home ed family, we go to loads of different events and I drop them off to forest groups/football/home ed camps/scouts etc so they aren’t ALWAYS in my care and I have to trust that they will be safe and trust the leaders of those groups. Home ed is brilliant and a wonderful way to bring up a family, however, if you are only considering it due to safety concerns then I would maybe re-think. I think schools have locked doors and things in place to mitigate risks as much as possible.

Where did I say I’d go everywhere with her ???

It's metaphorically locking someone up though isn't it. Not allowing independence has a lot of similarities to locking someone up. That's what people are trying to say.

It's perfectly reasonable to be upset by what has happened and to worry about the safety of your child, but I don't see what schooling has to do with it? Schools, in the UK, at least, are probably pretty much the safest place children can be.

You acknowledge it wasn’t school but a dance class but you want to homeschool her so she doesn’t come to harm. Even though it happened at a dance class. So you would need to keep her away from everything. You being anxious about events is something your daughter is going to pick up on. So yes, unless you get your anxiety in order you are going to be living a very secluded life and you might as well be locking her up and throwing away the key.

Also, it is statistically unlikely your child will come to harm in one of these events. Home is also not harm free, children die at home too. It’s not always someone deliberately taking that child’s life, it’s often an accident to a heartbroken family and so there isn’t a national news campaign but sometimes just a local one offering sympathies.

Worrying about losing your daughter means you will rob her of a life of her own. The chance to make her own mistakes. To see her grow into her own person. So yes YABU and for your child’s sake you need to get a hand on your anxiety. It’s normal to be affected by it, especially when you can picture your child in their place, acknowledge those feelings but let your daughter live her life without those anxieties.

What so homeschooling is locking your kids up now ?? Okay