Aibu to want to homeschool my child with everything going on

[Ella2001]

Has anyone heard of that horrid south port attack 3 children died from 17 year old boy stabbing them at a Taylor Swift dance class? 😭 with stabbings in uk AIBU to wanna home school her ? I’m honestly soo scared to send her to school. She’s only 9 months but I keep on thinking for her future . I’m in Northern Ireland I know this awful attack happened in England but it happens everywhere and I’m genuinely terrified for my baby.

I remember having a similar realisation when my eldest was a baby, btw. So jarring, when you’ve grown this defenceless human in your body for as long as she’s been alive in the world, to face the horrors of reality. Parents of young children have thinner skins - I remember the gratitude I felt when my news-loving macho father in law turned over the TV unprompted when I came in, saying he’d not coped with the news for a few years when his children were wee.

You can't base your opinion on one person. Perhaps she was home schooled due to special needs. I know home schooled people who have done PhDs and got the top awards at universities. There are lots of successful home schooled people. Barring other issues, which aren't the fault of the person or their parents, you can raise a well rounded home schooled child with some thought in the process.

I seemed to have triggered a fair amount of people here so I’m going to remove this thread and spend some time OUTSIDE with my child seeing as I’ve locked her up forever 😭

YABU. There has been no mass casualty event at a school in the British Isles since Dunblane.

Statistically school is a very safe place.

It's awful isn't it. The bullet proof backpacks is just so sad. However there are over 115000 schools in the US so statistically the likelihood of being caught up in something is still pretty small. Shouldn't happen at all of course and guns should be banned.

You haven't 'triggered' anyone - we've all just told you YABU.

YABU, but I get it. My DD is 8, and I likely would have let her attend an event like the dance studio one if it had been in our town. It’s just horrid to realise you can’t also keep them safe, I'd absolutely love to keep mine home constantly. PIL have taken my two out for the day and I always feel uneasy when they’re somewhere else without me, but I let them go. I get twitchy on motorways, feel nervous when they go on school trips and all sorts because I worry about all kinds of scenarios - but I don’t let on because I know they need to live life!

Well, I am not even in the UK and it’s been head news here since it happened.

If you don’t even watch the news you’re probably not the right person to home school.

Stop with the laughing emojis.

Never say the word "homeschool" without body armour. It gets people really upset for some reason. Many americans have chosen to home ed due to the risk of school shootings. It's a definite trend within the US home school community. Personally, i think you'd need better reasons to sustain the effort required to homeschool.

I must be alone in not wanting to keep mine at home constantly. They would drive me mad.

No one's triggered, OP. I just think you need help for your anxiety.

I think people are being a bit unfair. I think it’s clear from your messages that you care about your child and just want to protect them. Stories like this of course cause worry.

On home schooling, I used to be against it. And sure you get examples of people who are so sheltered they can’t deal with real life but that’s extreme. I went to a tough school and a lot of experiences just gave me anxiety and made me want to lock myself away. I think there are lots of factors that can mean either can work for a particular child. I don’t think though it’s something to be decided on because of news stories like the one you mentioned.

If you want your child to do well in the world do things to help with their confidence. And of course you can’t protect them from rare tragedies but self defence classes or martial arts are more positive actions if you’re still worried about this.

@x2boys
Yes NI is statistically the safest region of the UK.

Who have you triggered? I don't feel you have that much power really

No one's triggered, OP. I just think you need help for your anxiety.

This. And astounded by the lack of awareness.

if anyone actually read up, a woman actually said she was reporting this thread .
not once have I used laughing emojis , the amount of people being unfair here is actually insane to me , I bet half of you are half my age too picking on someone half their age. You all seem to tell me to get help with my anxiety like I already haven’t , none of you know me at all , but yes I’m getting help , Jesus .

I'm glad you're getting help OP. Your DD will sense your anxieties even if you try to hide them. My DH has an anxiety disorder and it's true that stuff is genetic. Your DD's best chance is you getting your own anxiety under control.

I completely get it and I’m doing better now, but loads of people seem to think based on this thread it’s out of control , it’s a disorder and so easily triggered which I think most people who don’t suffer anxiety understand. Ofcourse I know it’ll affect her that’s why I’ve been getting help as that’s the last thing I want

I’m glad you are getting help.

But what does this actually mean?

I bet half of you are half my age too picking on someone half their age

I could’ve worded that better , apologies. It just means people picking on me here are probably a lot older than me .

I understand. I've seen my DH have moments where his thoughts run away with him. It looks like that might have happened to you here? Sometimes having a new baby makes you wake up more to just what can happen in the world. Of course we want to protect them. It's a harsh reality that we can't guarantee anything, we just have to keep the risk in perspective. It's highly unlikely you will personally experience any of those awful events. If they were normal and common, they wouldn't get so much attention.

Yeah definitely, I’ve always had anxiety , but since having my child it escalated and suddenly got scared of everything that could harm her . But I have coping mechanisms, I’m managing and won’t let it affect her . It’s truly awful

The simple answer is no, people won’t be tempted to home school their children because of Southport.

A rational parent will risk assess every situation and thankfully realise that school should be a relatively safe space.

You’re a new parent and obviously want to protect your child, however, you need to get some treatment/coping mechanism for your anxiety.

You will see a plane crash and decide you can’t go on holiday. Hear of a relative abusing a child so no longer send your child to their grandparents. Read how a child got run over no never allow your child to go out.

Sad things happen but in life you have to deal with them.

I know where you are coming, the 7/7 bombings happened three weeks after DS was born, the realisation the world can be scary and you can’t always protect your child is hard. But I remember reading that parenting, from the moment your child leaves your womb, is a process of you letting go and them becoming independent and it has to be done. Doesn’t stop me worrying though (someone else with anxiety here!).

Yes, I am definitely older than you. I know that's a hanging offence on MN these days, getting old.

Your child lives in a world, and a place in that world, where very very occasionally unspeakable things happen that you are powerless to prevent. But that is the world she lives in and she is entitled to access all the joyous, positive and enriching things it offers, which are far more numerous than the atrocities. If you think home schooling is the best choice for her educationally then that's one thing, but to use it as a means to keep her away from a world that can be dangerous, but for the vast majority of us, is not, is allowing your fear to restrict her in a way that isn't fair or sustainable. If its any consolation, your initial panic will fade with time. I brought my children up in the aftermath of Dunblane and 9/11 and remember vowing never to take them on a plane and being terrified when they went to school. It passes and you gain perspective.