Controlling for being angry at DH using oven

[SharpOliveHam]

Dh likes to eat healthily which means he never fries any food. Even the 1 cal spray is not acceptable. Fine.

But DH knows I’m very funny about the heat. Hate it and do very well to keep a cool house. I’m the person who goes around closing curtains, opening windows at the optimal time to keep things cool.

Just got off a work call to a sauna downstairs. DH has made himself a fry up (chicken sausages, egg, mushrooms, tomatoes). The kitchen is reading 26c - it was 22.5c when I looked at around 12 pm.

I told dh that this was really selfish behaviour. And now I’ve been called controlling.

AIBU?

Well that's your choice and it doesn't affect anyone else. This is different and quite insane tbh!

It's not that hot. Stick some fans on and let your poor husband have his lunch in peace.

You sound completely mad. The kitchen would have got hotter anyway. If the dogs are that distressed then the oven being on won’t make any difference and surely one of the other rooms would have been fine for the amount of time needed for the kitchen to regulate itself. Plus buy yourself a fan or some aircon- you can get decent portable aircon units for about £30.

I’ve just made myself a lovely goats cheese and roast tomato salad which involved the oven being on for 30 min and now, 20 min later, it’s no hotter than it was before I started.

I thought double coated dogs were insulated against heat as well as cold since their undercoat traps cool air?

Have a google of portable air conditioning units. £150 could solve all your problems…

Well, if you want to waste your time being annoyed, knock yourself out I guess.

It doesn't give you the right to tell your DH what he can and can't do, though.

"Dh likes to eat healthily which means he never fries any food. Even the 1 cal spray is not acceptable. Fine."

"DH has made himself a fry up"

So which is it?

Dont do this - it’s incredibly dangerous!

Can you invest in a nice big fan for you and the dogs? I'm thinking of getting one for me and my cat although to be fair, he's expert at finding a cool spot.

My kitchen was 24C this morning and it's currently 29C. There has been no cooking beyond the heating of one kettle in that time. It's the sun that's making the difference.

Your home might vary etc.

Don't start introducing common sense to the thread 😄

Why did you bother posting on AIBU then? Clearly, despite the unanimous vote to the contrary, you are certain that you're not BU so what's the point in asking the question?

Just sounds to me like OP is trying to shame her husband more, by implying he's some kind of gross pig because he made unhealthy food while doing something she disliked. Quite childish of her, really.

But I still don't understand how your house is now warmer, because he cooked a meal in the kitchen. Yes, the kitchen is warmer - but why the whole house?

Make it make sense!

Yabvvvu and controlling.

Not being allo to eat how /when /what I liked /being criticised for cooking is of the very many reasons I left expd a couple of years ago.

Have a good hard look at yourself op this behaviour is not on. You are not the boss of the house. He is allowed to cook for himself.

Maybe an extra hot vindaloo with a nice big steaming mug of tea.

They are

OP just seems to like the drama of fussing and faffing about.

Is this really about the temperature or it it about the OP feeling taken for granted and that her feelings don't matter?

Britain is a temperate climate. For otherwise healthy adults and non-exotic pets the temperature, even today, is safe provided there is access to shade and plenty of water. So I think the OP is being over dramatic on that sense.

However, if the DH is generally a health nut who only cooks a fry up once a year, I can see why she'd be exasperated that he's chosen to do so on the hottest day of the year. It's also rendered her earlier efforts a complete waste of time, which can make people feel like they're unappreciated (a much bigger problem than being a bit hot). Particularly if most of the time the OP is running the family's lives around DH's health drive and accommodating his needs. I can see why she'd experience this as major inconsideration for her rather than realising that she's overreacting.

I'm sorry you sound absolutely crazed by this. I don't think you're doing your marriage or your dogs any favours here.

OP, gently, YABU. 26 is not a problem - I get that you're getting perhaps a tad obsessed with cooling the dogs but this is a very temporary temperature (no pun intended). Open the windows for air flow, get the dogs in the shade and in a few hours the house will start to cool.

I grew up in Australia WITHOUT air conditioning and the houses frequently got hotter than 30 inside even WITH keeping curtains closed etc. It's fine.

Unless you're about to drip feed some major medical condition...

For heaven’s sake, the man made himself what he wanted to eat in his own kitchen!

Unless he’s left the place a pigsty or used up what you needed for dinner later, get over yourself.

The dogs will survive. You are being daft.

Amateur. If you were really trying you'd be doing a full roast dinner! Preferably with a hot dessert involving custard.

However many times you tell us you are in the right, you will still be in the wrong, OP..

Your behaviour is obsessive, irrational and extremely controlling and frankly, if I was your DH I'd have left by now. You sound genuinely unwell.

Your poor DH 😂to put up with this!

If the roles were reversed, people would call you abusive. I would call you that.