Page 36 | To not want to see t*ts on the beach??!

TittiesOutPutThemBack · 2024-07-30T11:34:31+00:00

Just that really! on holiday at the mo and I cant even count the number of times I have seen topless women sunbathing at the beach… next to kids!…on non-nudist beach! I really don’t want to see titties out in the middle of the day on top of that I don’t fancy my teenage boys or even my DH having a look at them either its obvious they’re coming from certain European countries ! Do they have no sense of what’s right or wrong ? AIBU?

MinnieMountain · 31/07/2024 08:19

It’s context. I prefer going to spas in countries where the rule is to be naked.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 31/07/2024 08:20

Itsjustmeheretoday · 31/07/2024 03:24

YANBU. I'd be fine with it if it was nothing, but 99% of the time it's very obvious the tits are out just trying to get attention. Tits out so men oogle isn't being feminist, it's the opposite of being feminism wanting them to be objectified for their looks, or in this case their tits

On a beach I suspect that 99% of the time they're out to get suntanned...

It's not feminist to tell women they must only be "getting their tits out" for male attention and it's not feminist to tell women they must cover up for men and it's not feminist to tell women their bodies are there for men's pleasure which is all what you've implied

It's also not feminist to tell women they are wrong for wanting men to find them attractive and to imply they are "womaning" wrong

Dexysmidnightstroller · 31/07/2024 08:21

This isn’t exactly new or unusual so what is with the fake surprise?

NonPlayerCharacter · 31/07/2024 08:26

Notgoingononlyfansyet · 31/07/2024 07:22

So, I’m super sex and body positive. I did a boudoir shoot (and was absolutely shot down for it here) and have also done a couple of stage strips for charity. Clearly, I’m comfortable with boobs on display. I don’t sunbathe topless and I’d prefer to go a beach where no one else did either. I don’t have ‘a problem’ with it. I just don’t think it’s appropriate. I’m not sure why beaches ARE considered appropriate. Other family environments where swimwear is worn aren’t. A pool isn’t. A park isn’t. I see beaches in the same catergory. It’s not about policing women’s bodies, it’s about being appropriately dressed. Literally everywhere else, boobs need to be covered, unless it’s specifically a nudist environment. Why are beaches different? You want to get your boobs out, go to a nudist beach. You don’t, don’t. It’s how it works everywhere else. Why are beaches special?

I haven’t been to a beach since I was a child until last year in the South of France. There was almost no one topless, except a couple of older French women……and all the British women I went with. I got the impression it was a bit old fashioned. It hadn’t crossed my mind before and I was surprised anyone did that these days. I also hadn’t thought to have a conversation with my teen daughter who was really embarrassed. She has ADHD and might easily have said something tactless, so it would actually have been helpful to know we were entering a topless zone. I thought it was a bit tacky. What I really got fed up of was them pressuring ME to take my top off - they kept asking me why I didn’t, like I needed to justify it somehow. I wouldn’t have dreamed of asking they why they did. ‘Because I want to and it’s acceptable’ is clear and reason enough. I can’t think of a single reason TO sunbathe topless, so I don’t, and I’d be on the receiving end of this sort of flak if I expected people to justify about why they did.

So why does only work one way? Why does one person’s choice to show their boobs automatically take precedence over someone who prefers a boobless beach? Everywhere else is boob free unless adult only and pretty overtly stated, is it really so unreasonable to expect the same at a beach?

Don’t have a husband. Don’t have sons. Don’t police my daughter’s body or clothes. Don’t generally care what people wear. It just seems like a really weird anomaly to be acceptable in this one place as a general thing, and to be expected to justify not doing something pretty radical in literally any other environment.

So, OP, I don’t think you are being unreasonable. Apart from the drama, the language and the xenophobia, I agree. I’m not going to judge or tut, or stop going or campaign for boob free beaches. But I’d prefer them. And preferences are valid.

I think it's hilarious that you got your boobs out in a sexual context on stage before an audience (which is entirely your right, no judgement or issues there) but have written a wall of text about why it mustn't be done in a non sexual context on a beach where the only purpose is for the owner of the boobs to enjoy some sun.
There are places where topless sunbathing has been the norm for longer than many people have been alive.

Beaches are special because it's normal to wear less there and enjoy the sun and water on your skin. I'm surprised that such a body positive person needed to be told that. Did you think body positivity was only for sexual contexts? For viewing?

Seems from your username that Only Fans has at least crossed your mind, too. What a conundrum wrapped up in an enigma you are...

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 31/07/2024 08:27

Literally everywhere else, boobs need to be covered, unless it’s specifically a nudist environment. Why are beaches different?

This actually leads to the wider discussion on how women are expected to cover up (and even hinting at just a bit too much boob is wrong. There's plenty of threads about it here) more than men. But there are plenty of places men are expected to cover up too. Like restaurants and shops having "no shirt, no sale" type messages up.

Because expectations in places are different. And I think if a park is acceptable for a man to walk around topless then a woman should be able to too. But she would get criticised for wearing a "too small" bikini top...

(And policing bodies is not sex and body positive!)

alldayeveryday247 · 31/07/2024 08:34

@Beljin

Would it bother you if a man was sitting next to you on the bus and masturbating? Or would you be like "it's a penis, just a wank, get over it."

I'm curious where you draw the line at public sexualisation.

Not a sensible comparison.

A sensible comparison would be a woman rubbing her tits and masturbating.

And I dare say people wouldn't feel that was appropriate.

alldayeveryday247 · 31/07/2024 08:37

Blondiebeachbabe · 30/07/2024 15:05

Absolute LOL at all the women saying "they're just breasts", and yet, if a woman sent a pic of her breasts to their DH phone, the LAST thing they would say is "oh, it's fine, they are just breasts". 🙄🙄Aye right then.

Again, not a reasonable comparison.

A reasonable comparison to a woman sending a picture of her tots directly to someone's DH would be her walking up to that DH and saying "look at my tits".

And if a woman on the beach walked up to OP's husband and said "look at my tits" everyone would say that was inappropriate.

Notgoingononlyfansyet · 31/07/2024 08:39

Seaglassandchampagne · 31/07/2024 08:07

OP wasn’t simply expressing a preference, she was describing people as immoral for doing something completely harmless and legal.

There are a ton of countries (Singapore, UAE, Dubai, most of the USA, Trinidad and Tobago, Malta, the Bahamas, Morocco) where it is illegal to be topless on the beach. OP (and anyone else who can’t cope with a naked body) should do their research about holiday destinations and pick somewhere that’s in line with their own strong views about this issue.

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Well I’m expressing a mild preference and asking the question, with no associated judgement on morals. Why beaches? Why, on a beach and only on a beach, is more nudity more socially acceptable than the pool right behind the beach? More than would be appropriate without a dedicated environment anywhere else. Why should it be up to me as part of an overwhelmingly topfull majority to seek out a topfull beach or avoid beaches, when everywhere else the topless (very) few are expected to seek out topless pools, parks, tennis courts, bars etc etc. Why are beaches special? And why shouldn’t the majority preference be acceptable.

I bet there would A LOT of moral judgement on any woman playing volleyball in Central Park topless. Regardless of legality. I don’t think legality is really relevant. This is a social standard.

Wonder what the British position is. I’m off to Bournemouth on Thursday…🤣🤣🤣

SocksAndTheCity · 31/07/2024 08:48

You haven't been to New York, have you @Notgoingononlyfansyet ?

NonPlayerCharacter · 31/07/2024 08:48

Why beaches? Why, on a beach and only on a beach, is more nudity more socially acceptable than the pool right behind the beach?

A lot of private pools in Europe allow women to go topless too. Nude saunas are much more common over there. Partly it's cultural.

But additionally, beaches are freer, more open, usually sunnier, natural sand, natural water. People will generally be at pools to swim, but at the beach they might only sunbathe and not enter the water at all. It's a different atmosphere.

You will be horrified to learn that it's not actually illegal to be naked in public in Britain either. I forget the exact wording of the law, but essentially it's only illegal to do it in such a way that it is designed to cause offence or distress. Flashing at the playground isn't OK, but taking your top off in a quiet corner to enjoy some sun is fine.

At any rate, if you're fine with tits on stage to be viewed, it's really very rich to take exception to tits uncovered for the owner to enjoy sun. People who don't like your charity strip shows don't need to go, and if you don't like women sunbathing topless, you don't need to go either. But neither scenario is tacky or whatever other made up value judgement you give it because you can't be satisfied with a simple "not for me".

Ididntsignuptothis · 31/07/2024 09:05

Im Surprised that you're surprised op, I'm in my 40s and since childhood I've seen women with no top on at the beach, it's been happening for ages and is very commonplace in European holiday destinations. Fine if not to your taste, but don't go to European beaches in future

Neurodiversitydoctor · 31/07/2024 09:11

RampantIvy · 31/07/2024 07:16

I think you m isunderstood what I was trying to say.
The average young man of 20 is bound to appreciate the view. That's all.

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and that is perfectly fine. Bodies are beautiful, young bodies especially so. I am a heteosexual middle aged woman. Dd and her mate ( both aged nearly 18) were wafting about in bikinis yesterday- I could appretate their youthful beauty including their breasts, really it's fine.

Notgoingononlyfansyet · 31/07/2024 09:19

NonPlayerCharacter · 31/07/2024 08:26

I think it's hilarious that you got your boobs out in a sexual context on stage before an audience (which is entirely your right, no judgement or issues there) but have written a wall of text about why it mustn't be done in a non sexual context on a beach where the only purpose is for the owner of the boobs to enjoy some sun.
There are places where topless sunbathing has been the norm for longer than many people have been alive.

Beaches are special because it's normal to wear less there and enjoy the sun and water on your skin. I'm surprised that such a body positive person needed to be told that. Did you think body positivity was only for sexual contexts? For viewing?

Seems from your username that Only Fans has at least crossed your mind, too. What a conundrum wrapped up in an enigma you are...

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Nope. I’m not policing anyone’s body. Get ‘em out if you want to. I didn’t say it mustn’t be done. I said I’d prefer not to witness it.

The difference is that if I’m doing a strip show, everyone going in KNOWS there are boobs coming at them and has a choice whether to go in or not. It’s also not a public place where anyone can unwittingly wander in. The assumption is there will be no nudity in a show unless there is a warning. This applies universally. Except on beaches. Why beaches? On the beach, I had an unwelcome surprise. And I don’t have a choice. There is no demarcation, no warning and no boob free or boob friendly zones. This is about choice and freedom. FROM as well as TO.

I would have really appreciated the opportunity to have conversation with my teenage daughter in advance (but not as much as she would have!)

It’s acceptable to wear less at a pool, or a lake or a river where you enjoy the sun and the water, but not to go topless. Why?

I didn’t need to be told people wear less on beaches. I’m specifically asking why the norm is different to other non-sexual, family environments where people wear less, and why the onus is on the topful majority to seek a choice which doesn’t exist. I don’t see what onlyfans has to do with anything, but I’m not remotely surprised I’m being judged for having it in my username. I used it because it’s the username I posted about the boudoir shoot in, to show I’m comfortable with nudity (and it was tongue in cheek) because I got flamed about it and I don’t want it associated with usual posts. I just think there’s a time and a place. In my opinion, it’s a (mild) issue with consent. Boobs ARE sexual characteristics. Secondary sexual characteristics, sure. But sexual nonetheless. If people don’t want to see them, they should have that choice. I’m happy to see them. bit not unexpectedly. My point is that a beach is not different to a pool. Where is not acceptable unless it’s specifically a nudist pool. Why is the beach exactly the opposite?

ItsAlrightDarling · 31/07/2024 09:24

Notgoingononlyfansyet · 31/07/2024 09:19

Nope. I’m not policing anyone’s body. Get ‘em out if you want to. I didn’t say it mustn’t be done. I said I’d prefer not to witness it.

The difference is that if I’m doing a strip show, everyone going in KNOWS there are boobs coming at them and has a choice whether to go in or not. It’s also not a public place where anyone can unwittingly wander in. The assumption is there will be no nudity in a show unless there is a warning. This applies universally. Except on beaches. Why beaches? On the beach, I had an unwelcome surprise. And I don’t have a choice. There is no demarcation, no warning and no boob free or boob friendly zones. This is about choice and freedom. FROM as well as TO.

I would have really appreciated the opportunity to have conversation with my teenage daughter in advance (but not as much as she would have!)

It’s acceptable to wear less at a pool, or a lake or a river where you enjoy the sun and the water, but not to go topless. Why?

I didn’t need to be told people wear less on beaches. I’m specifically asking why the norm is different to other non-sexual, family environments where people wear less, and why the onus is on the topful majority to seek a choice which doesn’t exist. I don’t see what onlyfans has to do with anything, but I’m not remotely surprised I’m being judged for having it in my username. I used it because it’s the username I posted about the boudoir shoot in, to show I’m comfortable with nudity (and it was tongue in cheek) because I got flamed about it and I don’t want it associated with usual posts. I just think there’s a time and a place. In my opinion, it’s a (mild) issue with consent. Boobs ARE sexual characteristics. Secondary sexual characteristics, sure. But sexual nonetheless. If people don’t want to see them, they should have that choice. I’m happy to see them. bit not unexpectedly. My point is that a beach is not different to a pool. Where is not acceptable unless it’s specifically a nudist pool. Why is the beach exactly the opposite?

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But you do have a chance to avoid it. You know that people often go topless on the beach, and therefore you can avoid beaches. Just as people can avoid your strip show. It’s not like it’s a new thing, people have been sunbathing topless on beaches for decades. So you can choose to avoid that environment.

ItsAlrightDarling · 31/07/2024 09:24

You can go to a pool instead 😉.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 31/07/2024 09:27

Tits on a beach, weird but fucking beautiful

NonPlayerCharacter · 31/07/2024 09:30

Notgoingononlyfansyet · 31/07/2024 09:19

Nope. I’m not policing anyone’s body. Get ‘em out if you want to. I didn’t say it mustn’t be done. I said I’d prefer not to witness it.

The difference is that if I’m doing a strip show, everyone going in KNOWS there are boobs coming at them and has a choice whether to go in or not. It’s also not a public place where anyone can unwittingly wander in. The assumption is there will be no nudity in a show unless there is a warning. This applies universally. Except on beaches. Why beaches? On the beach, I had an unwelcome surprise. And I don’t have a choice. There is no demarcation, no warning and no boob free or boob friendly zones. This is about choice and freedom. FROM as well as TO.

I would have really appreciated the opportunity to have conversation with my teenage daughter in advance (but not as much as she would have!)

It’s acceptable to wear less at a pool, or a lake or a river where you enjoy the sun and the water, but not to go topless. Why?

I didn’t need to be told people wear less on beaches. I’m specifically asking why the norm is different to other non-sexual, family environments where people wear less, and why the onus is on the topful majority to seek a choice which doesn’t exist. I don’t see what onlyfans has to do with anything, but I’m not remotely surprised I’m being judged for having it in my username. I used it because it’s the username I posted about the boudoir shoot in, to show I’m comfortable with nudity (and it was tongue in cheek) because I got flamed about it and I don’t want it associated with usual posts. I just think there’s a time and a place. In my opinion, it’s a (mild) issue with consent. Boobs ARE sexual characteristics. Secondary sexual characteristics, sure. But sexual nonetheless. If people don’t want to see them, they should have that choice. I’m happy to see them. bit not unexpectedly. My point is that a beach is not different to a pool. Where is not acceptable unless it’s specifically a nudist pool. Why is the beach exactly the opposite?

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If you want to a European beach as an adult and didn't know you were likely to see boobs...Well, now you do. So you can act accordingly going forward, and you could have left if it offended you. They don't make a huge song and dance about it because it's a cultural norm there and if you didn't realise that, you'll work it out soon enough. I really can't see why the conversation about why some women enjoy sunbathing would be more difficult than why some women perform on stages in states of undress.

My point is that a beach is not different to a pool.

It is, and I did explain why...but after 30+ pages about it, you're still claiming not to understand why anyone would like doing it. Perhaps that's why they don't bother with signs...they know that certain people are absolutely incapable of absorbing any information that they don't like.

At any rate, even if you're right and there's no difference between an open natural area and an enclosed private one (you aren't, obviously, but let's just say you are), the fact remains that it's a norm in these places, has been for ages, and you complaining that it's "tacky" (but you're totally sex and body positive!) doesn't really change that. Don't like it, stay in Skeggy.

StarlightLady · 31/07/2024 09:34

On the wider issue of breasts and sexuality, it’s all a matter of context. The female breast is the symbol of France but that is not sexual. Likewise breasts in the sunshine on a beach are totally asexual. And it is important to strive for equality between women and men as has been demonstrated in New York state. Sadly some other parts if north America are less progressive.

The situation can be likened to 2 people sharing a bed. That can be one of the most sexual things on the planet. Or it can be not sexual at all.

In French seaside towns, particularly in the south, going topless on the beach is prolific. But it is forbidden to walk along the prom (or town obviously) in swimwear. This sets the right balance to me.

In response to a comment up thread. Yes, l have gone topless in Bournemouth and other UK resorts.

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 31/07/2024 09:42

NonPlayerCharacter · 31/07/2024 08:26

I think it's hilarious that you got your boobs out in a sexual context on stage before an audience (which is entirely your right, no judgement or issues there) but have written a wall of text about why it mustn't be done in a non sexual context on a beach where the only purpose is for the owner of the boobs to enjoy some sun.
There are places where topless sunbathing has been the norm for longer than many people have been alive.

Beaches are special because it's normal to wear less there and enjoy the sun and water on your skin. I'm surprised that such a body positive person needed to be told that. Did you think body positivity was only for sexual contexts? For viewing?

Seems from your username that Only Fans has at least crossed your mind, too. What a conundrum wrapped up in an enigma you are...

Edited

Show quote history

Taking your clothes off for money in front of an audience of voyeurs - this is fine.

Taking your top off to get a tan - not fine.

I think the word we are looking for is ‘hypocrisy’.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 31/07/2024 09:45

"I'm totally body positive but omg cover your breasts, they offend me"
Hm

betterangels · 31/07/2024 09:48

FluentRubyDog · 30/07/2024 12:39

Erm, there's nothing wrong about breasts.

There is loads wrong about having a hissing fit over the fact that you can't control your husband or sons looking at them. Or even (gasp) the thoughts they may have about them.

I'm not even remotely prone to going topless, but I'm sure you'll find a jewellery maker able to fix those pearls that you sent flying with all the clutching.

And, seriously, "they're coming from certain European countries"... can you be any more disgusting?

Every word of this. Get over yourself or stay away from the beach.

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 31/07/2024 09:52

Also, IME, plenty of tits out at the pool too. Better to just stay home.

betterangels · 31/07/2024 09:55

Do you actually say titties as an adult female? I'm fascinated and have the ick at the same time.

Notgoingononlyfansyet · 31/07/2024 10:00

NonPlayerCharacter · 31/07/2024 08:48

Why beaches? Why, on a beach and only on a beach, is more nudity more socially acceptable than the pool right behind the beach?

A lot of private pools in Europe allow women to go topless too. Nude saunas are much more common over there. Partly it's cultural.

But additionally, beaches are freer, more open, usually sunnier, natural sand, natural water. People will generally be at pools to swim, but at the beach they might only sunbathe and not enter the water at all. It's a different atmosphere.

You will be horrified to learn that it's not actually illegal to be naked in public in Britain either. I forget the exact wording of the law, but essentially it's only illegal to do it in such a way that it is designed to cause offence or distress. Flashing at the playground isn't OK, but taking your top off in a quiet corner to enjoy some sun is fine.

At any rate, if you're fine with tits on stage to be viewed, it's really very rich to take exception to tits uncovered for the owner to enjoy sun. People who don't like your charity strip shows don't need to go, and if you don't like women sunbathing topless, you don't need to go either. But neither scenario is tacky or whatever other made up value judgement you give it because you can't be satisfied with a simple "not for me".

Of course I won’t be horrified. I have a mild preference and an opinion. I’m questioning an illogical inconsistency - I’m talking about freedom and choice. But when you focus entirely on freedom and choice TO you eliminate the freedom and choice FROM.

Although that raises the question about how we were not allowed to strip without nipple covers because the venue didn’t have a licence for nudity. If you need a licence behind closed doors, how come it’s totally fine in the open?

People who don’t like strip shows can go to other shows. They can expect to be alerted in advance that there is nudity and not to encounter it unexpectedly in a public place. You have to make a deliberate choice to go. That’s the norm. And it’s right.

If I don’t like topless beaches, I just…..can’t go to the beach? There are no boob-free beaches. No warning signs. No way of not encountering boobs if I don’t want to? And yet this is the case no where else at all and I’m strange for pointing out it’s an anomaly? It’s not comparable in terms of choice. It’s peculiar to beaches. It’s the total opposite of what’s expected elsewhere.

I do think there is some judgement about the strip, here. Why, just because I am comfortable with boobs out in one context, should I automatically be comfortable with them in every context? Can I not have a range of environments I’m comfortable with as an individual? The point is I am completely comfortable with boobs in appropriate places. With boundaries, warnings, comparable alternatives, choice and consent. And beaches don’t provide that.

I bet tons of people go topless on holiday and not at home. Is that ‘rich’? No. They’re individuals making a choice about where they are comfortable. Why shouldn’t I?

I can confidently say that everyone who has seen my boobs (with the exception of my daughter!) is over 18 and has deliberately and consciously chosen and consented well in advance to take in the view. (They have even paid for the privilege) you can’t say that if you get them out on a beach. And that’s important to me.

HomeTheatreSystem · 31/07/2024 10:01

But you're not bothered about the moobs I'm guessing ...