Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to see t*ts on the beach??!

1000 replies

TittiesOutPutThemBack · 30/07/2024 12:34

Just that really!

on holiday at the mo and I cant even count the number of times I have seen topless women sunbathing at the beach… next to kids!…on non-nudist beach!

I really don’t want to see titties out in the middle of the day

on top of that I don’t fancy my teenage boys or even my DH having a look at them either

its obvious they’re coming from certain European countries ! Do they have no sense of what’s right or wrong ?

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
mathanxiety · 31/07/2024 02:51

TittiesOutPutThemBack · 30/07/2024 12:42

Oh interesting

so you’d like a 50yo male getting his bits out near a 5yo?
Would you be educating the toddler ?

I feel I need to educate you here.

The 'bits' in question would be genitalia.

Boobs are not genitalia.

mathanxiety · 31/07/2024 02:58

TittiesOutPutThemBack · 30/07/2024 12:48

They can take them out all they want

my Issue is where they are doing it
i am sure there are nudists areas where I am, there are definitely some more isolated areas

wtf does this happen in a very public and full of families area

they don’t need to do this to prove a point, and I don’t need to accept it. Breasts are private otherwise we d all take them out in the office too!

I don’t want to see someone else private bits !

There's a time and a place for everything.
You are on a beach.

mathanxiety · 31/07/2024 03:03

TittiesOutPutThemBack · 30/07/2024 12:56

It’s not about DH or DS as much

I don’t want to see someone’s private parts!

they might not be genitals but they’re are private!

whoever is saying this is normal and I am making it more sexualised than it should be, then apologies you’re nuts!

Go take your boobs out next time your kid has a play date … let’s see how this will go down!

It's.
A.
Beach.

Not a play date.

XChrome · 31/07/2024 03:04

Beljin · 30/07/2024 14:29

It's not just about the attraction that goes on in one's head, but the next step. You could be attracted to a man, and even surreptitiously check him out, and no one would be the wiser. But would you also be okay with a man checking you out while sporting an obvious erection?

In fact, taking the 'it's only a body part' argument even further, why should anyone be bothered by the sight of a man wanking on public transport? It's only a body part and a natural bodily function.

Fact of the matter is as a society we find sexual activity to be private and personal. Not shameful, just private. Whether that's innate or due to millenia of religion is neither here nor there. Fact is that's how we are as a society.

False comparison is where truth goes to die. That one was a truth bloodbath. Absolutely bonkers.

mathanxiety · 31/07/2024 03:19

RisingSunn · 30/07/2024 13:12

I am of the view breasts are part of what I call “private” parts.

So if someone purposely touched my elbow without consent. No crime. But if someone touched my breast. Crime.

So no, I don’t really want to see other people’s private parts on holiday.

And I wouldn’t be comfortable if my girls were walking topless in front of their dad or uncles on holiday.

Let’s be real.

What if someone purposely touched your face or neck?

Itsjustmeheretoday · 31/07/2024 03:24

YANBU. I'd be fine with it if it was nothing, but 99% of the time it's very obvious the tits are out just trying to get attention. Tits out so men oogle isn't being feminist, it's the opposite of being feminism wanting them to be objectified for their looks, or in this case their tits

NonsuchCastle · 31/07/2024 03:31

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 30/07/2024 12:43

That’s in no way the same. Everyone disagrees with you. You can delete the thread now.

I don't disagree with her. I don't want to see tits out either.

Ilovecleaning · 31/07/2024 03:37

Titties? Titties???

SpidersAreShitheads · 31/07/2024 03:39

TittiesOutPutThemBack · 30/07/2024 12:56

It’s not about DH or DS as much

I don’t want to see someone’s private parts!

they might not be genitals but they’re are private!

whoever is saying this is normal and I am making it more sexualised than it should be, then apologies you’re nuts!

Go take your boobs out next time your kid has a play date … let’s see how this will go down!

Yeah, your logical thinking isn’t what you imagine it is OP.

We all agree a bikini or a swimsuit is fine at the beach, right? But if I rocked up at the soft play centre wearing a bikini, there would be a lot of very confused parents who would certainly object.

That’s because different places have different social rules. It’s really not hard to understand.

Women have been sunbathing topless for decades. I’m in my 40s and I remember my mum doing it when I was a child. Everyone did back then, funnily enough, less so now.

You might not feel comfortable with women going topless, and that’s ok. But understand that the issue is with you, not their very normal and healthy attitude to bodies.

Also, kids growing up and seeing adults who are comfortable with their bodies is a positive thing. There’s nothing wrong with keeping your bikini top on (I do too) but there’s nothing wrong with being topless at the beach either. But I suspect you know that really, eh? Reel that line in, you’ve caught enough….

XChrome · 31/07/2024 03:46

Imagine the horror of going to a different country and finding out that (gasp!) they have a different culture! Not only that, but you can't make them stop doing things you don't like that are normal in their culture. OP, you must take this to the UN High Commission on Human Rights. Your eyes have been raped by an entire culture. For shame, Cyprus!

Topseyt123 · 31/07/2024 04:18

TittiesOutPutThemBack · 30/07/2024 20:31

It is not reasonable to expect an entire country to change its cultural norms to appease tourists with different norms.

yes sure cause local Cypriots can’t wait to expose their kids to German titties !!

Thank you for your comments , off to bed, looking forward to more boobs tomorrow!

The kids will be absolutely fine. They won't spontaneously combust on sight of a pair of tits. Unlike you, who it seems might just do that.

AbraAbraCadabra · 31/07/2024 04:18

Have you heard er been to the beach before?

And hilarious that you think people who live in other countries should change their social norms to appease your sensibilities!

AbraAbraCadabra · 31/07/2024 04:18

*never

Neurodiversitydoctor · 31/07/2024 05:07

RampantIvy · 30/07/2024 22:12

No. He's perfectly capable of glancing at a woman without his hormones overpowering his brain.

Hmm. Are you absolutely sure about that?
He would have more sense than to openly ogle them, but I'm sure he might have appreciated the view if his preference is for the female form.

and that is ok. Jesus never mind the beach have you ever been to an art gallery ?

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 31/07/2024 05:27

NonsuchCastle · 31/07/2024 03:31

I don't disagree with her. I don't want to see tits out either.

No one is forcing you to. Now you know people get their tits out on beaches you can choose not to go there.

LondonFox · 31/07/2024 06:08

Beljin · 30/07/2024 18:28

Oh please. A PP made the point, someone touches you on your arm without asking isn't a crime, whereas someone touching you on your breast is. Stop pretending you see no difference between boobs and other non-sexual body parts.

Which goes along with what I was saying how breasts are unnecesarily sexualized in society.
Btw I would absolutelly hate if someone touched my armpit, bellybutton, feet or my neck. And none of it is crime.
People brushed against my breast frequently in packed tube and I found it less uncomfortable

Ladyzfactor · 31/07/2024 06:34

RampantIvy · 30/07/2024 22:12

No. He's perfectly capable of glancing at a woman without his hormones overpowering his brain.

Hmm. Are you absolutely sure about that?
He would have more sense than to openly ogle them, but I'm sure he might have appreciated the view if his preference is for the female form.

I've been to nude beaches and saunas. Of course we all look, especially at first. But after the novelty wears off it's just another pair of titties.

RampantIvy · 31/07/2024 07:16

Neurodiversitydoctor · 31/07/2024 05:07

and that is ok. Jesus never mind the beach have you ever been to an art gallery ?

I think you m isunderstood what I was trying to say.
The average young man of 20 is bound to appreciate the view. That's all.

Notgoingononlyfansyet · 31/07/2024 07:22

So, I’m super sex and body positive. I did a boudoir shoot (and was absolutely shot down for it here) and have also done a couple of stage strips for charity. Clearly, I’m comfortable with boobs on display. I don’t sunbathe topless and I’d prefer to go a beach where no one else did either. I don’t have ‘a problem’ with it. I just don’t think it’s appropriate. I’m not sure why beaches ARE considered appropriate. Other family environments where swimwear is worn aren’t. A pool isn’t. A park isn’t. I see beaches in the same catergory. It’s not about policing women’s bodies, it’s about being appropriately dressed. Literally everywhere else, boobs need to be covered, unless it’s specifically a nudist environment. Why are beaches different? You want to get your boobs out, go to a nudist beach. You don’t, don’t. It’s how it works everywhere else. Why are beaches special?

I haven’t been to a beach since I was a child until last year in the South of France. There was almost no one topless, except a couple of older French women……and all the British women I went with. I got the impression it was a bit old fashioned. It hadn’t crossed my mind before and I was surprised anyone did that these days. I also hadn’t thought to have a conversation with my teen daughter who was really embarrassed. She has ADHD and might easily have said something tactless, so it would actually have been helpful to know we were entering a topless zone. I thought it was a bit tacky. What I really got fed up of was them pressuring ME to take my top off - they kept asking me why I didn’t, like I needed to justify it somehow. I wouldn’t have dreamed of asking they why they did. ‘Because I want to and it’s acceptable’ is clear and reason enough. I can’t think of a single reason TO sunbathe topless, so I don’t, and I’d be on the receiving end of this sort of flak if I expected people to justify about why they did.

So why does only work one way? Why does one person’s choice to show their boobs automatically take precedence over someone who prefers a boobless beach? Everywhere else is boob free unless adult only and pretty overtly stated, is it really so unreasonable to expect the same at a beach?

Don’t have a husband. Don’t have sons. Don’t police my daughter’s body or clothes. Don’t generally care what people wear. It just seems like a really weird anomaly to be acceptable in this one place as a general thing, and to be expected to justify not doing something pretty radical in literally any other environment.

So, OP, I don’t think you are being unreasonable. Apart from the drama, the language and the xenophobia, I agree. I’m not going to judge or tut, or stop going or campaign for boob free beaches. But I’d prefer them. And preferences are valid.

StarlightLady · 31/07/2024 07:36

@Notgoingononlyfansyet Re your comment on parks. You can sunbathe topless in Central Park, New York. In fact a woman can legally be topless anywhere where a man can be topless throughout New York State. There is no sex discrimination in the legislation.

Lampslights · 31/07/2024 07:41

Titties, what are you a 12 year old boy?

op, topless on the beach is acceptable in society to large swathes of the population. I’m sorry it makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe even jealous as you think your husband is looking, bit that’s a you problem.

you will need to accept it, or avoid beaches.

80smonster · 31/07/2024 08:06

Illegally18 · 31/07/2024 00:28

yes, it is lovely swimming topless. If I'm quite far out from the beach, in the water and no one around, I take off my bikini bottom as well, and hold on to it. Bliss

WHAT? And let the fishes see you naked.
Someone call interpol and have this women apprehended. Immediately 😂

Seaglassandchampagne · 31/07/2024 08:07

Notgoingononlyfansyet · 31/07/2024 07:22

So, I’m super sex and body positive. I did a boudoir shoot (and was absolutely shot down for it here) and have also done a couple of stage strips for charity. Clearly, I’m comfortable with boobs on display. I don’t sunbathe topless and I’d prefer to go a beach where no one else did either. I don’t have ‘a problem’ with it. I just don’t think it’s appropriate. I’m not sure why beaches ARE considered appropriate. Other family environments where swimwear is worn aren’t. A pool isn’t. A park isn’t. I see beaches in the same catergory. It’s not about policing women’s bodies, it’s about being appropriately dressed. Literally everywhere else, boobs need to be covered, unless it’s specifically a nudist environment. Why are beaches different? You want to get your boobs out, go to a nudist beach. You don’t, don’t. It’s how it works everywhere else. Why are beaches special?

I haven’t been to a beach since I was a child until last year in the South of France. There was almost no one topless, except a couple of older French women……and all the British women I went with. I got the impression it was a bit old fashioned. It hadn’t crossed my mind before and I was surprised anyone did that these days. I also hadn’t thought to have a conversation with my teen daughter who was really embarrassed. She has ADHD and might easily have said something tactless, so it would actually have been helpful to know we were entering a topless zone. I thought it was a bit tacky. What I really got fed up of was them pressuring ME to take my top off - they kept asking me why I didn’t, like I needed to justify it somehow. I wouldn’t have dreamed of asking they why they did. ‘Because I want to and it’s acceptable’ is clear and reason enough. I can’t think of a single reason TO sunbathe topless, so I don’t, and I’d be on the receiving end of this sort of flak if I expected people to justify about why they did.

So why does only work one way? Why does one person’s choice to show their boobs automatically take precedence over someone who prefers a boobless beach? Everywhere else is boob free unless adult only and pretty overtly stated, is it really so unreasonable to expect the same at a beach?

Don’t have a husband. Don’t have sons. Don’t police my daughter’s body or clothes. Don’t generally care what people wear. It just seems like a really weird anomaly to be acceptable in this one place as a general thing, and to be expected to justify not doing something pretty radical in literally any other environment.

So, OP, I don’t think you are being unreasonable. Apart from the drama, the language and the xenophobia, I agree. I’m not going to judge or tut, or stop going or campaign for boob free beaches. But I’d prefer them. And preferences are valid.

OP wasn’t simply expressing a preference, she was describing people as immoral for doing something completely harmless and legal.

There are a ton of countries (Singapore, UAE, Dubai, most of the USA, Trinidad and Tobago, Malta, the Bahamas, Morocco) where it is illegal to be topless on the beach. OP (and anyone else who can’t cope with a naked body) should do their research about holiday destinations and pick somewhere that’s in line with their own strong views about this issue.

80smonster · 31/07/2024 08:08

Lampslights · 31/07/2024 07:41

Titties, what are you a 12 year old boy?

op, topless on the beach is acceptable in society to large swathes of the population. I’m sorry it makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe even jealous as you think your husband is looking, bit that’s a you problem.

you will need to accept it, or avoid beaches.

I know right, sounds like OP hasn’t left the country before. Probably her first time on an aeroplane too.

Notgoingononlyfansyet · 31/07/2024 08:16

LondonFox · 31/07/2024 06:08

Which goes along with what I was saying how breasts are unnecesarily sexualized in society.
Btw I would absolutelly hate if someone touched my armpit, bellybutton, feet or my neck. And none of it is crime.
People brushed against my breast frequently in packed tube and I found it less uncomfortable

I asked my Mr about this. He said that he would obviously notice boobs around and about, but would be unlikely to give more than a glance, because they aren’t in a sexual context for him. He isn’t currently or potentially considering them as part of his sex life, so they wouldn’t be sexy to him then and there. I asked if he saw someone he really fancied whether he’d ogle under his sunglasses and he said nah, it took more than a glance for someone to catch his fancy. He did say he’d find mine arousing, because mine obviously are currently part of his sex life, but he often has fits of lust at me doing ordinary things completely clothed, because he’s attracted to and connected with me specifically. Last time, I was opening a farm gate. And he isn’t going weak at the knees watching any woman opening a gate. He doesn’t see it much differently.

Interesting. He’s obviously sexualising my boobs, which seems appropriate to me. We are in a sexual relationship, and they feature pretty heavily. But not really generalising that.

How can you not sexualise boobs? They’ve been huge part of any sex I ever had. Surely they’re never going to be on a par with elbows for the majority of those attracted to women? Is it really realistic to expect them not to be considered differently from noses? They are a secondary sexual characteristic. Not genitalia, agreed. But not noses either.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread