Husbands new employee

[onesu]

Would you be ok with your husband hiring someone he had previously slept with, and had history with when working together before?

The woman in question, (after we got together) slept with another employees husband who she met his wife and kids a few times each week.

I feel uncomfortable working so close (same office, two desks apart) with someone he had history with, understand everyone has a past etc. just have an awful feeling about this. I'm of course unreasonable, and it's for "the good of the business".

My hormones are playing havoc from stopping breastfeeding so not sure if this is playing a part.

Your answer in four words:

Do you trust him?

Forget the question of trust. Trust is thrown in the air simply because someone does something highly inappropriate like this.

Anyone with two brain cells to rub together should know that no, you probably shouldn’t hire your ex and that it would make your spouse uncomfortable.

I don't think that a good husband would put you in this position, knowing how uncomfortable it would make you feel.

I would not be ok with this.

Nope nope nope - of all the people he could hire, why her?

No! Absolutely not.

Ignoring the personal history of the woman in question, is she bloody good at her job or uniquely qualified in some niche role?

I trust my husband but I wouldn't like it either! Out of the entire population, this woman is the only person for the job? I find that hard to believe.
However, if I told my DH I don't want this, he'd listen to me.
Did you even have a discussion about this before she was hired?

Maybe she was the best candidate for the job?

I’ve worked with an ex and it wasn’t an issue at all. I take it they were together before you got together?

Do you think you’re in a happy strong relationship? I wouldn’t be over the moon about it, but I do trust my husband and there isn’t anything you can do about it now.

I think you have the answer to your question in your post: your husband then another employee's husband? I would be hitting the roof hormones or no hormones. Don't compromise. It is a no go situation.

Well, she has form for inappropriate work place relationships, so no, you're not being unreasonable to feel uncomfortable (especially while vulnerable with very young kids). If it was just a distant ex with her own relationship, then it might be unreasonable. But it's the context here that changes that.

Fuck no.

Her other sexual history would be none of my business however if it involves someone I'm with /my partner then of course it's my business.

There is always some level of chemistry between exes.

What a rude passive aggressive response.

i agree do you trust him, do you think he’s hired this woman so he can get close to her again?

The job would involve 3 days in the office (with only around 6 desks so a small knit team) and pretty much constant communication via text if needed the rest of the time when working offsite.

I do trust him, but just feel I'd be daft to let my guard down completely from what you read on here. Like bantery chats etc in the office going too far is what's coming to mind if that makes sense (it's a more relaxed, informal industry). I'm fine with the other woman etc that work for him, just knowing she/they have previous is what's bugging me.

For me that’s not true, and for plenty of others. We look at them and think what was I thinking, I understand for you it maybe true, but please don’t tar us all with the same brush,

There is always some level of chemistry between exes.

If by chemistry you mean the sudden involuntary stress reaction and subsequent release of adrenaline and noradrenaline when I see my abusive ex then you would be spot on.

For the OP:
No fucking way!
😁

Should reiterate:

If it didn't end badly.

Which if you're willing to work for him, I'm guessing Not.

I do trust him, but just feel I'd be daft to let my guard down completely from what you read on here

This is where protecting/affair proofing your relationship comes into play.

I wouldn't have an affair. Morally, I'm completely against it and just wouldn't do it. I trust myself completely.

However, I still wouldn't put myself in a position where one could happen because I accept that I'm also only human. And that is why I trust myself completely.

She's a box of chocolates on display and doesn't seem to object to married men helping themselves.

Unless she is uniquely skilled in that field of work, there are plenty of other people he could employ.

No way.

There are 8 billion other people on the planet. Why her, out of all of them, to fill that role? Seems odd to me.

I think you are totally right to be not happy about this: They have a shared sexual history and she is known not to regard married men as off limits.

What I think is most worrying is that your DH is professing not to see the inappropriateness of hiring her. And he is dismissing your concerns.

He should be thinking about your feelings in this. Especially when you have very young children. The fact he is justifying hiring her despite your concerns indicates he doesn't have respect for you and thinks he is entitled to do whatever he wants .

Why do you all sleep with your colleagues lol?

It doesn't haven't alarm bells all over it, there's massive fucking sirens.