Widow here. Shortly after DH died someone I knew, but not terribly well - her DD walked our dogs - was attempting to be kind. She suggested various activities including walks and a picnic, which I appreciated. I also offered to take her out to lunch, which she did not respond to.
I was hoping for a one to one chat, sympathetic ear, although I wouldn't have imposed, but happy at the idea of spending some time with another adult and getting out of the house.
Anyway, it soon became apparent that the idea was that I would tag along with her and her teenage DD and their dog - basically an act of charity, fitting me in around her normal activities.
Don't get me wrong, the offers (there were more than one, but same theme) came from a good place. But they made me feel so shitty about myself, as though I was now being regarded as an object of pity who must be so desperate as to be grateful for any offer.
I wasn't ungrateful but it did feel patronising, especially as I did have an active social life and many friends etc. I felt surprisingly rattled and upset about the whole thing, as though I weren't a real person any longer, just a widow/pariah, who should be grateful for any crumbs thrown from the table from those who did not share my sad status. And yes, I did sense an undercurrent of smugness.
So I laughed out loud at Attention posts, which absolutely nailed it!