DH invited widowed friend to ours, is this ok?…

[Boobooduck]

I’ve never met him before but sounds like a nice guy. Lost his DW to cancer about 2 years ago bless him. He isn’t one of DH good friends but they’ve knows each other for years and DH invited him around for lunch - DH can’t cook so the best he could do would be cheese sarnies!

Anyway, I said invite him over on Thursday night and I’ll make homemade lasagna and salad and we can get a couple of bottles of wine incase he wants a drink…

Does that sound ok? Lasagna? If not, what else do you suggest?

TIA

It’s ok, I didn’t think you were being a twat - I just thought you’re asking a fair question.

I’m going to make homemade lasagna, salad and garlic bread 😊

Because we’d all end up with food poisoning! 🤣

Your husband sounds useless not being able to cook.

Yea. Wife work. Ugh.

Not good enough.

Seriously.

I've got no truck these days for women who laugh at how hysterically awful their male spouse is at cooking - not just bad, but food-poisoning-level bad, lol, what is he LIKE????!!!!!! - followed no doubt by a mumsy smile and a 'aw bless him'.

(Yes, I'm in a bad mood.)

But you offered!
Why didn't you say "great, DH, what are we having?"

I wish he was more able at cooking but he does earn a very good wage that enables me to have a nice life and he does do everything else about the house except for cooking so I have to let it go. I hate gardening, I can’t do DIY, I won’t iron and he does all of that aswell as the hoovering, washing and he is good around the house.

@Boobooduck the real questions are, will you be making your own pasta using eggs laid by your hand reared chickens called wilhelmina and cassandra? using an authentic ragu recipe? using tomatoes you grew and canned yourself? will the butter being used in the bechamel be hand churned? will the lasagne be cooked in an aga?

if the answer to any of these questions is no, you should hang your head in shame and go back to finishing school. we will keep your mumsnet account warm until you are ready to come back and confirm to proper standards

Exactly! Husband invited his pal for lunch, which he could have catered for. OP suggested dinner not him.

Yes, it’s a poor show that he can’t cook but how is he the twat when he hasn’t decided that “wifey” will do all the “wife work”?

Admittedly he could have said, “no this is a low key lunch, I’ll sort us some sandwiches,” rather than letting her take the reins.

And stop saying "bless him" it's patronising, he isn't a dog.

You don't grind your own flour @pandasorous so you can't talk. <sneer>

OP there are very few people who don't like a nice lasagna.

As much as I’d love to say yes. I’n afraid the answer is is a resounding no! It will be tinned tomato’s, fresh pasta (not homemade) I will hang my head in shame until I get the homemade pasta made from scratch! 😂 I bet I can’t tell the difference anyhoo… 🤔😬

Thanks for your input

As long as he eats meat serve it and relax, sounds nice.
If he cant eat it he can get maacas on the way home of you dp not find out beforehand.

Stop being a dickhead! I don’t care if you’re in a bad mood, it’s no excuse to be pedantic (twice- I let the first one go)

Noooooo We can't have THE WIDOWER eating Maccy Ds bless him.
His poor late wife will turn in her grave and haunt the OP forever

It's forecast to be 31 degrees here on Wednesday, 29 degrees on Thursday. No way would I be making a lasagne or doing anything that requires cooking.

So of all the threads to be an arsehole on, you’ve decided to chose the one where someone is trying to do the right thing by someone that’s had something awful happen to them and is trying to be sympathetic and to make their time as nice as possible…

What a weirido…. Go and pester someone else!

I was taking the piss OP and to be fair, you're making it so dang easy. I picked up on a whiff of smug look-at-me-being-nice in your first posts but "trying to do the right thing by someone that's had something awful happen to them?"

You're cooking hm lasagne, not sitting by his hospital bed or taking flowers to late wife's grave.

Patronising AF.

He's been widowed two years. He's undoubtedly probably had some home-cooked meals by other women (and men) since then.

There's nothing wrong with lasagne and salad, but it's an all-in-one dish so do have your husband ask the specific question "[your name] was planning to make beef lasagne, does that suit?"

But if you don't want to cook or will resent it then don't cook. Your DH can sort takeout or sandwiches - it's the company that's important. Volunteering to cook because you think that's what you should do and then resenting your husband for letting you do it is just making a rod for your own back and blaming your DH for it.

1- It’s not my first post, I name change often

2- Get a life!!

actually the correct term is milling the flour. which I do of course with the flour I personally organically grow in my back yard.

trying to hold onto my high horse so I don't fall off and break my neck

This made me laugh out loud. OP your post is incredibly patronising. I cannot imagine why you posted it. How can anyone else know if this man likes lasagne? Your attitude towards him is really weird. Why can't he just be invited going for dinner instead of you making it into an act of charity for someone who has fallen on hard times?

Bloody hell, I was widowed 4 years ago. I hope any friends/their spouses inviting me round for food don’t still refer to me as “ the widow” or feel that I am so defined by this status that I would need different food from other people. I really hope people don’t talk about my widowed status and say “bless her”, or expect me to be many times more grateful for lasagne than a non-widow….mybe this just applies to widowers, though?

I had skim read the OP and thought he was widowed 2 weeks ago - was about to say by all means invite someone round, but at that stage, the kindest thing friends did for me was drop off home-cooked meals and milk, bread etc. Being able to eat a meal that I did not have to shop for or prepare (usually in bed) was so welcome.

Reasonable chance that this chap could either cook before his wife died, or has learnt to in the intervening 2 years.

What have I just read?!

Lasagne Class?!

Do people really think when inviting people over, hmm I need to be careful with my choice of menu because it might give the wrong class signals and make me a social pariah if I get it wrong.

Or do they get comments like "This is only a working class level lasagne, how dare you insult me!"

I swear. Bonkers.