New career working Christmas as single parent

[ItsSpookySeason]

I have just finished a nursing degree and I'm waiting on my pin coming through before starting my new job. I've worked hard to get to this point as a mature student but unfortunately during my training my husband divorced me and has now moved to another country with OW.

We have 5 children under 12 who he now sees twice a year. I have managed during my training using paid childcare and have been fortunate that I have a family member who has also helped by looking after my children, but they are now also moving away to start a new job so I will solely be relying on paid childcare.

I am extremely worried about working 12 hour shifts over Christmas - I don't object to working Christmas eve / Christmas day / boxing day at all but I have no idea how I am going to sort childcare. I don't want to raise this as an issue as soon as I start my new job, I don't want to make a bad impression nor do I think I deserve special treatment as a single parent, but none of my childcare providers work Christmas day or boxing day, I have already asked!

How does anyone in a similar situation manage? I was previously self employed, and married, so have never had to worry about this before! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

The trusts I have worked for have unpaid parental leave not been an option for the annual sh* t shifts at Christmas. If so we have all done it.

I’d have took unpaid parental leave every time I was due to work Christmas if this was an option 😂.

I can work from the 27th.

Spending Christmas with their dad is not an option, as explained earlier in the thread he has already made it clear to me and them that he will visit twice a year, neither of those visits will be in December. I am not able to force him to return to the UK and take responsibility for his kids, believe me if I could then I would

If you can do other bank holidays then I would offer to do most of them in a sort of trade to get Christmas off.

Try childcare.co.uk. I used to get a fair amount of work in there. I worked Christmas eve most years it was good money. There will be lots of childcare workers with no work over the holidays who may consider it. Much more likely to have success if they work in your house rather than theirs

I'm a nurse and a single parent and think you will struggle on the wards tbh. That said there's no guarantee your hours would be better in the community, you'd still be expected to work over Christmas.

I managed with the help of friends and family.

I would get in early (at interview stage) and be honest about your situation, you may get a sympathetic ward sister who would be happy for it to be agreed to have Christmas off.

Do you have any school mum friends? You have 5 children so have they got any close friends and you can pull in a favour? You will be able to return the favour, I’m sure.

24.12/ 8.pm to 27.12/ 7 am is not an options for you to work. Most ward nurses would kill to stay off duty for that period.

You have to sort out what you can offer a coworker to cover for you.
I am pretty sure it can be done but it will cost you an efford.

I’ve been a nurse manger in NHS and also have been a single mum so I do understand your predicament. Firstly,speak to your new line manager and let her know of your situation. They will (or should!) want to help and support you in your new role.

Usually I’d let nurses pick if they wanted to work Christmas or NY and work the rota around that. Depending on where you are working it might be less busy ie surgical will have no elective cases (but yiu can end up with boarders or get moved to a different ward) so there sometimes can be flexibility. But do talk to your manager - once they understand they’ll hopefully help. To posters saying that all the childless people will end up working Christmas and it causing conflict, I don’t agree. When I was younger I always wanted to work Christmas to have NYE and NYD off. Most of my peers were the same! It balances out for the most part.

Secondly, well done on getting this far. Becoming a nurse with all you’ve had on your plate must have taken a Herculean effort and you’ve done it now.. getting experience on the wards is the best thing you can do! Wishing you the best of luck.

Regardless of the xmas issue, I can't really see how working as a ward nurse is feasible when you're a single parent to 5 young children and have no family support at all. You'll need so much time off when one or another is unwell, needs to go to an appointment etc.

To posters saying that all the childless people will end up working Christmas and it causing conflict, I don’t agree. When I was younger I always wanted to work Christmas to have NYE and NYD off. Most of my peers were the same! It balances out for the most part.

Are childless people all young then?

Would your sister help you out for Christmas? Could the kids go to hers?

We wouldn't be just you and me of sh* t shifts. It would be to easy.

Thanks for your opinion but that's not why I was posting. I need this job, and as already stated several times, after 12 months I will be able to work in a different setting with more family friendly hours

🙄

and we wanted why recruitment and retention in the health service is so bad.

There are plenty of people (bank/agendy) who are willing to work Christmas …. You just have to name the right price. But of course in the short term hiring the agency nurse is more expensive, but so is recruiting a new nurse when they left due to being treated so badly.

Last Christmas my local ED advertised a Christmas shift at £31 /hour for a junior Dr. After tax for a 10hr shift you were lucky if you came out with £200 after deduction.

So under appreciated and with managers like you who needs enemies!

Thank you, I am able to work long day Christmas eve and then any shifts over New year so hopefully they will see that I am willing to do other shifts as a compromise.

Of course not, that was clumsily worded. What I mean is that there is usually a balance of who wants what time off depending on circumstances. Some people don’t celebrate Christmas so it doesn’t bother them. Some love to work it for the extra cash.

In reality a lot of bank and agency nurses sign off for Christmas. Don't count on these to get the wards through sh* t.

I normally say tough luck when parents whine about spending Christmas Day with their kids but my god what do all you keyboard warriors expect this woman to do?

She has a deadbeat ex. She can’t force a childminder to work.

Well done to you OP for not giving up and setting yourself some career goals rather than sitting at home like some people on here expect you to.

Most people are decent. Someone will swap with you if you end up on the rota.

This was the reason I left nursing.

Yet another deadbeat father gets off with not doing a damn thing. Disgraceful.

You might consider to offer to cover EVERYTHING for a colleague regardless of what they ask.
Possibly cover two or three (sh* t) shifts in exchange for a Christmas shift. Or pay a coworker a sum to do your shift.
It also costs money indirectly, however. But it often does the job.

You can be lucky a colleague covers your shift. I have done my share as a young nurse.

I think you are amazing.
I was a nurse for 40 years and as a manager did many rotas.
If you offer to work Xmas Eve, New Years Eve and New Years Day any reasonable manager would give you the time off you need in your circumstances. As a previous poster said talk to your line manager. At the end off the day you can't leave your children unattended, so you won't be turning up for duty. Good luck.

I'm a single parent and my DS used to spend every second Xmas with his Dad, and when he was with his Dad I just postponed our Christmas till he was back with me - there are sure to be some nurses in the same position as I was who will be sympathetic to you and willing to swap as they wouldn't be doing Xmas on Xmas day.

And as for single people not wanting to cover, before I had DS I was always happy to work between Xmas and New Year (I did have Xmas Day and Boxing Day off) as I knew it was really hard for people with kids to get into work on those days. Not every single person resents colleagues with family responsibilities.

Not everyone is Christian or observes Christmas. Surely with several months notice you can find someone who will come to your home to stay with the kids while you work Christmas Day?

More and more of my non Christmas nurse coworkers seem to celebrate Christmas with their families. A non religious Christmas.
It was different then I was young.

She’s already said he’s been quite clear which two months he will visit in- neither is December. She didn’t ask for him to fuck off to another country with another woman!!