Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU by people's reactions.

243 replies

ZebraGiraffe12 · 28/07/2024 14:33

My family and I have just got back from an amazing 2 weeks in Spain. Whilst there we as a family (including the kids) decided to stop doing Christmas presents minus a small present from me and my husband. We've said we don't want any presents from family and instead we want money to be added to our family holiday fund so we can enjoy a big summer holiday every year. I know some people don't like to give money but for us it makes the most sense.

I've spoken to most people and they've said its a great idea. However, my MIL has refused. She said she is not seeing her grandchildren go without presents and we are selfish to expect them to. AIBU to be angry with her for not listening.

OP posts:
WalksInTheSunshine · 28/07/2024 17:13

When 92% of voters tell you that you are being unreasonable, take heed.

Decompressing2 · 28/07/2024 17:13

your 1 year old and 4 year old decided they wanted to forego presents and spend the money on a family holiday instead....right.

At that age you can wrap up a 2nd hand present in paper and they would be happy with the concept of opening something.

You sound so entitled asking people for money instead of presents. You don't want presents? Fair enough ask for no presents or for people to donate the money to charity...but to donate the money to you? How cheeky.

Starlight7080 · 28/07/2024 17:13

One of the many lessons we have taught our children is not to expect or dictate what and when people should buy presents . Especially not to ask for money.
A gift is simple that . A choice someone has made . You are taking that choice away . You sound spoilt .
Save for a holiday like everyone else does . And apologies to your mil

brunettemic · 28/07/2024 17:14

Yeah, wouldn’t be paying for someone else’s holiday. Good luck with that.

VeryHappyBunny · 28/07/2024 17:14

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 28/07/2024 14:48

Jesus wept. A quick AS shows your kids are 1 and 4. And you and your husband earn a huge amount.

Why would you say ‘we decided along with the kids’. Your 4 year old might think it’s a great idea now but come Christmas they won’t. How did your one (maybe just 2) year old have an opinion on this that you thought was well thought out and wouldn’t be regretted?

Or is this something where you reveal it’s actually your husbands ex that has asked this or something?

What is AS and how does it work?

PrincessHoneysuckle · 28/07/2024 17:15

Yabu

Calphurnia6 · 28/07/2024 17:17

We decided last year to stop doing adult Christmas presents amongst family (not even money) but it was never in question that we would stop doing presents for the children.

I understand your logic, but there's something a bit miserly about asking family to fund a family holiday instead of giving presents to your children at Christmas.

Perhaps it depends on the age. Younger seems more miserly, older less so.

Either way though, you can't dictate whether your MIL chooses to spend HER money on a gift for her grandchildren instead of giving it to you to pay for your family holiday.

neverbeenskiing · 28/07/2024 17:17

VeryHappyBunny · 28/07/2024 17:14

What is AS and how does it work?

Advanced Search. It allows you to search a poster by name to view their previous threads.

somepeopleareunbelievable · 28/07/2024 17:20

Haha I can just imagine what kind of reaction I'd get if I said to my MIL that I wanted cash for a summer holiday instead of Xmas presents for the kids. I don't think she'd speak to me again.

VeryHappyBunny · 28/07/2024 17:22

Wowwww · 28/07/2024 17:17

Thank you.

VeryHappyBunny · 28/07/2024 17:24

neverbeenskiing · 28/07/2024 17:17

Advanced Search. It allows you to search a poster by name to view their previous threads.

Thanks, I guessed the S was Search, but no idea what the A was for.

Zone2NorthLondon · 28/07/2024 17:29

YABU. Graspy and controlling. You want the monies intended for the children to be spent collectively benefiting the adults
If you want a fancy holiday paid for who,e family group inspection yku, then you work more or if you can’t afford that exact holiday reconsider your expectation & budget. You cannot reassign monies intended solely for the kids to be siphoned off to benefit whole group inc adults
Frankly I’d give you heehaw if you made that request to me

Zone2NorthLondon · 28/07/2024 17:30

so many typo I’m on a phone

Butchyrestingface · 28/07/2024 17:31

Is this a reverse and @ZebraGiraffe12 is the irate grandmama?

OP has more brass neck than the tin man, even without the additional deets about the kids' ages and the husband's humungous salary. Grin

LlynTegid · 28/07/2024 17:34

OP has not told us the age of the children. Which makes a difference I think as to how some people would feel.

Butchyrestingface · 28/07/2024 17:35

LlynTegid · 28/07/2024 17:34

OP has not told us the age of the children. Which makes a difference I think as to how some people would feel.

A PP advanced searched the ages of the kids and they are about 1 and 4.

kitsuneghost · 28/07/2024 17:38

Just no.
I would not have kids forego their Christmas presents to help fund a family holiday

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 28/07/2024 17:39

You are financially abusing your own children and stealing their Christmas like Scrooge you utter CF

Sunshine1500 · 28/07/2024 17:40

You can’t ruin the spirit of Christmas for your family especially the kids. Save up and pay to take your kids on holiday yourself if it’s a priority for you.

WhamBamThankU · 28/07/2024 17:46

Absolutely wild! Team MIL here

LoneHydrangea · 28/07/2024 17:47

What meanies! Yeah, I’m sure your kids will love the idea their mercenary parents have had the holiday fund topped up instead of presents from family. Really selfish of you.

Heronwatcher · 28/07/2024 17:47

How old are the kids? Did they really decide this or was it your idea they went along with?

It’s fine to ask for anything present related but absolutely not fine to insist, especially when you must know you’re depriving the grandparents of a chance to see the kids unwrap a present they’ve chosen. I assume (unless they are 18 plus) your kids will need other stuff like toys, activities, clothes, books etc throughout the year. Why don’t you get the grandparents to buy this stuff and then put the money you’ve saved towards the holiday.

theworldsmad · 28/07/2024 17:49

YABU!!! Heh, since when can you dictate when people give what?

Leanmeansmitingmachine · 28/07/2024 17:51

You’re mental.

Swipe left for the next trending thread