Ballerina farm - just fell down a rabbit hole

[Mamabear04]

Just fell down a rabbit hole looking at this Instagram account. Of course it can't be true or surely even close to it? I feel so sorry for her, she seems too tired to even smile most of the time. She prides herself on being a servant to her family but it doesn't look like she enjoys it. Also 8 kids by 34? Anyone from or have a ginormous family - what's your experience of living with so many kids/siblings? Does it look like this? Surely the woman has cleaners and although she "helps out" on the farm, they will have a huge amount of staff no? I don't know why I'm obsessed with this this morning...maybe I'm bored of the Kardashians now!

It's a lot more complex than them being "held hostage".

I honestly suggest you have a read up on "Fundies" and the whole tradwife movement. There's a really dark underbelly going on with a lot of these families, even though they look perfect on social media.

I’m beginning to think there’s a few of us arguing against some bots. I refuse to believe some women are this dim about other women’s freedom, or lack of.

I have several Utah mormon friends and none are living in this way. Yes they get married young - often graduating from uni and marrying in the same summer - and have many more children than is the norm here, one of my friends has 7, the other has 8. One jokes that she was pretty much pregnant the whole of the 90s. But both have their independent interests - one runs a web design company, the other teaches classes at the university and is heavily involved in a charity. They aren't subservient to their husbands and don't do as they are told!

There are abusive relationships in every religion.

@sunsetsandboardwalks I will read it up, thank you. Meanwhile my perspective is very closely summarized in a (YouTube) video by Manifestelle “the new dystopia”.

Lots of people don't like to believe that "famous" influencers like Hannah could possibly be in abusive, controlling relationships.

Abuse isn't always black eyes and broken bones.

Why do you say that? Have only watched half a video so I'm not that familiar with the channel.

You should get some help then.

I'd look at families like the Rodrigues and their brood of children, or the Collins family. They don't do the traditional "homesteading" but they're a good "opener" into what fundie lifestyles can be like.

A family called the Lotts (who go by AmericanFamilyRoadTrip) are another - they're currently under major scrutiny by CPS as their youngest child is believed to be suffering from medical neglect.

In more "trad" circles there are people like Kelly Havens who strive to emulate this kind of lifestyle,

Have a read of some of the examples upthread.

She wasn't allowed to give birth with pain relief.
Her husband "speaks" to God and he decides when she has babies - always nine months after the previous pregnancy etc.

Who is the woman who was recently jailed in the US for child neglect? Ruby something?

Ruby Franke.

There's also Britney and JD Lott who are currently on the run from CPS due to suspected child neglect, particularly of their youngest baby who was born on a bus and never received any medical care despite glaring issues in all their videos.

A classic ‘fundie’ family is the Duggars (multiple series of reality TV).

They were all wholesome Christianity on the surface and hiding CSA underneath. This is not speculation - it’s not disputed one of the older sons molested his sisters and the parents covered it up. He couldn’t be prosecuted for that because the offences were too old but is currently doing time for videos / photos found on his computer.

One of the daughters (Jill) did a book that describes the way the children were treated namely physical abuse, brainwashing, economic exploitation and of course the sexual abuse (which girls / women in fundie life are blamed for on the basis they ‘tempted’ the abuser)

Edited to say: not all tradwives are fundie but there’s a massive crossover and the audiences tend to be the same.

Also, most of the Duggar women are active on social media. Most of them are still very much controlled by the rules of the IBLP cult they are part of.

Yes I think the likelyhood she'd want to be pregnant again so close to giving birth, with her body recovering, with how busy she is very unlikely. I wonder what her finances as like and who has control of them.

I almost forgot about the Duggars. There was a great documentary on Prime about it @CandidHedgehog if you haven't seen it.

One of the other husbands featured on it turned out to be some kind abuser too.

I also couldn't find where any of the other stuff she has mentioned? The interviewer made a lot of assumptions and had opinions but I can't see where H said any of these things?

I can’t get past her giving up Juliard for him 😱. Or her only getting an epidural once because he’d left her to labour alone. Or that bloody egg apron. She’s being absurd it’s very sad

I have seen it - it was awful.

Didn’t the other husband who turned out to be abusive start ‘dating’ (grooming) his wife when he was 21 and she was 15? Not uncommon in the fundie relationships - the women have no education to be anything other than SAHM so they marry very young and start having children immediately.

Having said that, fundamentalist Christians and Mormons are not the same - it’s just the attitude towards women / marriage in the more extreme Mormon sects is similar.

I think I agree with pp that it's her choice. And before anyone comes for me that I'm too privileged to understand, I left a first abusive marriage (financial, physical) and I'm not stupid to the evils of religion. However I also extend any kind of brain washing where women end up in a subjugated position to Islam for example, and cultures where women fully cover. I don't like imposition on women full stop.
I don't think she's any worse off than any woman raised in a culture where men make the decisions. Nine months post part gives an 18month age gap, perfectly normal, I have one.
I don't believe she gave a hand signal that was deleted - deleted or not what has anyone actually done as a result? Could she not have slipped a note to the journalist? Whatsapped someone? Told her family? I'm not convinced.

You 100% don't need to iron childrens stuff.
And you can just collect it by child in laundery bag, wash and dry like it and let any child above the age of 4 sort their own stuff.
Children over the age of 8 should be able to wash too.
Children that are not toddlers can clean, help cook etc.
You can easily organize life so toddlers play, baby sleeps and older children lear.
It is 21ct there is plenty of himeschooling materials online, children can listen to the same thing even if they are different age if you make it interesting. And 10+y old should be able to learn independantly too.

And I am person really not buying into the whole "you must plant your corn to feed chicken, to get eggs to make homemade pasta".

I have no idea how compelled Hannah has been during her marriage, I don't know her personally. I follow her instagram account so see what she chooses to put on social media and I have definitely seen reels of her driving into the local town. I seem to recall her posting that she heads into the local gym first thing in the morning sometimes and she takes her daughters to their ballet lessons. Didn't she also give a talk at a business symposium recently too? I think she may have won an award?

I pushed on my husband to have small age gaps between childrrn and opted for no pain relief unless it was section.
It is sometimes very much womans choice.

I think that was it. The way he looked at/spoke to his wife during the interviews was pretty chilling - even more so when you realise what kind of man he is.

Anna Duggar is in awful situation, I really don't know how I feel about her but I do feel incredibly sorry for her children.

But she did choose pain relief in the one birth where he wasn't present.

Do you really believe that was a coincidence?

@SirSidneyRuffDiamond I have seen many videos of her driving around, stores, shopping and yes doing talks etc. She had a golden opportunity at Julliard and chose to follow the money. She has a very weird fixation on her husband, I have always thought this.

Yes but they've also been on holiday to Hawaii and has their own meat shipped there. Perhaps what goes on behind closed doors is interesting because they actually are livjng luxurious lives. Scroll on this link to a YouTube video where an ex Mormon couple did a deep dive into Ballerina a farm.

forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/736552-can-we-discuss-ballerina-farm/