Ballerina farm - just fell down a rabbit hole

[Mamabear04]

Just fell down a rabbit hole looking at this Instagram account. Of course it can't be true or surely even close to it? I feel so sorry for her, she seems too tired to even smile most of the time. She prides herself on being a servant to her family but it doesn't look like she enjoys it. Also 8 kids by 34? Anyone from or have a ginormous family - what's your experience of living with so many kids/siblings? Does it look like this? Surely the woman has cleaners and although she "helps out" on the farm, they will have a huge amount of staff no? I don't know why I'm obsessed with this this morning...maybe I'm bored of the Kardashians now!

Yes, she comes from that kind of lifestyle but that doesn't mean it's what she wanted for herself. Her dream was to be a dancer.

Then the first people who you should be accusing of abuse would be her parents. They brought her up in that lifestyle.

We're not talking about being a SAHM or choosing to work less hours to raise children though - we're doing about being a "tradwife" - they are not the same thing and we shouldn't be acting like they are.

This was the part of the interview that I found most disturbing; the interviewer asks if she plans her pregnancies and she implies that no, she just accepts it as ‘god’s will’. Then her husband points out that there’s a nine month gap between her children. He’s insistent on it.

He’s clearly pointing out that he’s intentionally getting her pregnant when she’s immediately postpartum, because he knows she can’t prevent it. He’s literally bragging about abusing her and demonstrating his control.

Absolutely, they're just as bad as he is. It's horrendous what people like this are brainwashed to believe, honestly.

Look even giving this whole incredibly dodgy scenario the benefit of the doubt, reading that she wasn't even able to have pain relief in childbirth unless her misogynist controlling douchebag of a husband wasn't around is enough to convince me she's being abused and controlled. The deleted video where she made the help symbol....this tells us all we need to know.

It's disgusting @MotherWol - and it's even more disgusting that people on here are actively defending it.

Could you please explain the difference? ( Genuine question)
I'm assuming its in the amount her husband helps?

Yawn. Her husband is JetBlue airlines heir, they are billionaires. She is milking shampooed and blow-dried cows. It’s all pretends, like Marie Antoinette had her “village” where she would cosplay a peasant. She is not a victim, she is content creator - making money from content about making sourdough etc.

No - it's also about the lack of choice.

She can't even drive herself to the shops because he's forced them to live in the middle of nowhere and stopped her from being able to drive.

She can't get a job or go out with friends because she has to be around to homeschool.

She can't give birth with pain relief unless he's not physically around.

She can't even decide when she gets pregnant - he asks "God" and he decides for them - conveniently it always happens nine months after she gives birth.

She tried to get help via one of her videos and it was deleted.

This isn't a choice. This is religion and brainwashing and abuse.

If it's a choice, why could she only give birth with pain relief when her husband wasn't present?

Why does "God" her husband decide that she has to get pregnant exactly nine months after she's given birth every time?

Why has she been forced to live in the middle of nowhere without even having access to a car?

Why did she make a video asking for help that her husband made her delete?

@sunsetsandboardwalks it’s so gross - any man who’s trying to get his wife pregnant when she’s immediately postpartum doesn’t have her best interests - or even her survival! - at heart.

This, she seems to love this lifestyle. Even if she doesn't, I'm sure she can find her way out.

Exactly, this thread is so fucking depressing.

As far as I’m aware being a SAHM is just choosing not to return to work while your children are young but doing it in partnership with your partner, not being subservient to him or your children. A tradwife wouldn’t work whether or not she had children and would spend her day making her husband’s life easier.

They rehashed a lot of it in the independent which is free

If she loves it so much, why did she ask for help? And why was the video deleted by her husband if he's so sure she's there by choice?

@sunsetsandboardwalks where did she ask for help??

I hear what you're saying .
Look, I don't know them personally, so I really can't comment on their dynamics.
But I do find it weird/amusing/ whatever the correct emotion is that all the posters on this thread cannot conceive that it MAY be some women's choice.
We have only one car and live in the sticks. So if my dh is at work, we can't leave.
I do most of the childcare and cooking because he is working outside of the home
I didn't give birth with pain relief etc.
I'd be horrified if someone thought -shes clearly abused.
Because I have a choice in all of this.
So I guess if you say the women that have no choice are called trad wives-fair enough. And I agree, then it's not right.
I'm just questioning how everyone knows it. Since I'm thinking my life looks a lot like hers. (Minus the social media and loads of money)😅

'Neeleman sometimes gets so ill from exhaustion that she can’t get out of bed for a week.'

This should be the opening line in the article. She's obviously severely depressed and struggling to live up to his bizarre fantasy.

In a now-deleted video on her TikTok page. It was a good few months ago now.

@sunsetsandboardwalks because it is all a content plant to make her stand out of the likes of Nara Smith, Gwen the milkmaid and others. All of them allegedly are tradwives with detached husbands, no help, yet have immaculate multiple children and home made elaborate meals in a spotless house, yet enough time to shoot/edit videos and engage with audience. While most of us have very involved and helpful husbands, 2 children tops, and still house is a dump at times and children are eating nuggets. Maybe we are rubbish, maybe they are domestic goddesses, but maybe… and most probably… it is all fake and they actually have army of helpers both at home and for content creation?…

@theworldsmad because it's not her choice - it says as much in the articles.

She chose to have pain relief the one time she was able to give birth without her husband present.

Her husband asks "God" to tell him when she's ready to get pregnant again and conveniently, it's always nine months after her previous pregnancy. To the dot.

She wanted to go to Juillard. He wanted babies. They had babies. She says herself she knew her career would be over once she had children and wanted to wait - he didn't, so they didn't.

She wanted to live in NYC. He wanted to live in the middle of nowhere - so they did.

I'm not saying that some people don't choose to be SAHP's or don't choose to give birth without pain relief, but it's crystal clear that this isn't what's happening with Hannah.

@Chypre why do you not think it can be both curated and something she's being forced to do by her husband?

@sunsetsandboardwalks because she is not the only one. They can’t all possibly be held hostage while being live in TikTok.

I’m depressed. You know what about? That people are having to have this discussion on Mumsnet of all places.

I mean, honestly.

What the actual fuck is this nonsense?