Ballerina farm - just fell down a rabbit hole

[Mamabear04]

Just fell down a rabbit hole looking at this Instagram account. Of course it can't be true or surely even close to it? I feel so sorry for her, she seems too tired to even smile most of the time. She prides herself on being a servant to her family but it doesn't look like she enjoys it. Also 8 kids by 34? Anyone from or have a ginormous family - what's your experience of living with so many kids/siblings? Does it look like this? Surely the woman has cleaners and although she "helps out" on the farm, they will have a huge amount of staff no? I don't know why I'm obsessed with this this morning...maybe I'm bored of the Kardashians now!

No, what I’m saying is that she didn’t go into the relationship with a good varied education behind her and having seen her mother and other women go out and work as dancers or whatever. She moved from a stifled childhood into a stifled adulthood (minus a few years of her own in New York). If you or I had somehow dated this man we might not have behaved submissively like she did. She was already at a disadvantage due to her upbringing.

Different perspective here. I would have ended your paragraph with "The whole thing is BEAUTIFUL."

Just because someone is dying doesn't mean they should be relegated to bed until death claims them.

There is beauty in things that are nit the norm, and even if many on here can't imagine having so many children, it's possible to look at her and check the jealous/envious comments.

Oh yes, absolutely agree with you. It's so sad - I honestly think she was doomed to this kind of life from the beginning, unfortunately.

The journalist who interviewed them shared a video kind of advertising the article and very heavy hinted that she wasn’t free to say what she wanted and he was hovering over her to check what she was saying.

What "beauty" is there in doing a beauty pageant 12 days post-partum, exactly?

Objectively speaking, she probably has more fame, success and money than she could ever get through Juilliard. Yes, it's a hugely prestigious school but how many Juilliard graduates do you know by name? They all become highly respected but mostly anonymous people who go on to very niche careers. Professional ballet, similar to modelling, is also apparently a very toxic work environment with huge rates of eating disorders and other issues. Maybe she decided that wasn't for her anyway. It's very easy to glamourise what "could have been" but the route to true success is much harder.

She went on to turn BallerinaFarm into household name and she's known across all industries featured in the NY Times, The Guardian and the Sunday Times. If you were a narcissist looking for attention and success, the influencer route is far better than being the alumni of a famous dance school. Though having said that, she was clearly set up by the Sunday Times in the now viral article. There was absolutely no chance that a British reporter flying in from London wouldn't be conducting the interview with some sort of hidden agenda against tradwives. However they seemed blithely unaware of this and she had several clips being genuinely excited about the interview.

Many former Mormon women have spoken out on Tiktok about their experiences or that of their mothers who had 8+ kids. The entire religion and culture sounds oppressive and it's hard to say how much of it is social brainwashing and how much domestic abuse.

I completely agree with you.

I had a very high earning career as a senior marketing manager when my dd was very small (single mum, left her dad when she was 6 months old). I went back to work when she was 6 months and worked for some very big brands -luxury designer names etc. Absolutely hated every single minute of it. That’s not to say everyone would, just for me personally it just felt completely pointless.

Then I met dh and he was happy to be the breadwinner so I stayed home, and I’ve never regretted that decision nearly 20 years on, and one more dc later. I get much more joy and contentment out of being at home and doing stuff for my family than I ever did by working. I will say though that having that high paid job has meant we are mortgage free and don’t have the same financial worries as other families do and for that I am grateful.

I think the key thing is choice - is it her choice to want to do this? If so, good luck to her. Not everyone wants the same things. I admit I don’t know much about the backstory though.

There is a MASSIVE difference between doing things because you want to, and doing things because you know you have to because your husband tells you to.

I think the key thing is choice - is it her choice to want to do this? If so, good luck to her. Not everyone wants the same things. I admit I don’t know much about the backstory though.

Her choice was to become a ballet dancer - she even got accepted into Juillard, but was bullied encouraged to marry earlier than she wanted and to start having a family. She even says herself in her interview that she didn't want to start having babies so soon as she knew it would mean the end of her career.

But her husband pushed it and she ended up not having the choice. It's horrible and certainly not something she chose through her own free will.

She's a caged songbird. Her husband wanted her, and wanted to entrap her, precisely because she had ambitions to do something more.

read The Times piece in this - from last week.
Where the journo notes that almost everyone she tries to speak for herself, her husband speaks, or her kids interrupts her… where the husband admits that his wife is so exhausted that she sometimes takes to her bed for a week. Where it’s revealed they live in the middle of nowhere because the DH wanted to. Where it’s revealed that despite being millionaires - his family are LOADED - she has no childcare help for 8 kids, yet is still running a full time business as an influencer on Instagram- ( the hours that must go j to that, she does have a team, who she has to manage)
Where she gave up her dreams of being a professional ballerina to become this weird Mormon earth mother, where her needs and wants are always 2nd to her husband.

The most f-d up thing about this for me is - they are very, very wealthy. She does not have to work like a dog to lead this life that she doesn’t seem to particularly enjoy.

And it’s more tragic as ballet dancers have such a short time to excel. If her ambition was to be a writer for example, that could still be done.

Yeah, but the point is you don't know that. You can't say her husband is forcing her. You are not privy to their private lives.
I'm just saying it's not that inconceivable that some woman really enjoy the 'drudgery ' of home life. (And not because they were forced by her husband)
Ion this thread there's already two woman who said they chose it and love it. Me and @Pigeonqueen .
My point is, people make it out as if she is definitely abused or forced because how could she possibly choose this life for herself?
Hey ho, some of us did

And the whole
insta thing? I strongly believe that she started that as a way to have her own voice, to feel connected to something other than this bizarre life she’s leading where everyone’s needs come first.
Just read the bit where she talks about the birth her DH missed where she could have drugs because he wasn’t there and how amazing that was

She also wanted a holiday to Greece for her birthday - he's a multi-millionaire who's family own an airline - he bought her an apron to hold eggs in.

It's abuse - and the people excusing it because she "chose" this life really ought to take a hard look at the "fundie" lifestyle and the rise of tradwives. It's very, very rare that this is 100% someone's free choice.

Did you read both articles?

I don't feel sorry for her. She comes from that type of lifestyle. All her siblings produce masses of children. She does have an army of help, she has a huge school set up just for her kids, she is selling her branded, has masses of wealth. You must be very naive if you feel sorry for her.
It's actually quite cringy how she has this weird fixation on her husband though. I do feel sorry for her kids though, left to roam around.

Please do some research - she absolutely was forced. The whole scenario is disgusting and nobody on here should be claiming she chose this.

Do you know them personally to say she is being abused?? She is anything But. She comes from the same type of family!!

Have you read the articles?

She was pushed into marriage and babies before she wanted them. She was forced to give up her dream. She moved to the middle of nowhere with no access to a car because that's what her husband wanted.

Yes, she comes from that kind of lifestyle but that doesn't mean it's what she wanted for herself. Her dream was to be a dancer.

All that she has, and yet she can’t have pain relief during childbirth.

And she can’t get in her car and drive to the local shop.

It’s the simple things, believe me.

I've suddenly got tradwife things coming up on my Instagram feed in the last couple of days. Maybe I should actually look at one of them. This seems a bizarre lifestyle to me.

"Fundies" and tradwives are one of my weird specialist interests - I've spent hours reading forums about this kind of lifestyle and know way more than what's presented on her social media.

Just because she came from this kind of lifestyle, doesn't mean she isn't also a victim of abuse and brainwashing.

I can't believe so many women think this kind of thing is okay. It's awful what's happening to her and other women like her. It's like a modern day Handmaids' Tale.

I disagree that this is rarely 100% someone's choice. I would venture to say working full time is also rarely 100% someone's choice. Most people here, if they had enough money, would probably stop working or at least reduce their hours. So money is driving them to work.
I have a circle of sahm friends.
How can you say I was forced into this decision? And clearly all of my friends. Because you said ist very rare? So out of my 10 friends, just one of us chose it, the rest of us, were somehow forced into it.

I mean, that kind of makes it worse! She literally knows nothing different. On what planet is that a positive thing?

The child who grows up in an abusive household, marries an abusive man and has children who grow up in an abusive household - no one says ‘but she came from the same type of family’ do they?