Ballerina farm - just fell down a rabbit hole

[Mamabear04]

Just fell down a rabbit hole looking at this Instagram account. Of course it can't be true or surely even close to it? I feel so sorry for her, she seems too tired to even smile most of the time. She prides herself on being a servant to her family but it doesn't look like she enjoys it. Also 8 kids by 34? Anyone from or have a ginormous family - what's your experience of living with so many kids/siblings? Does it look like this? Surely the woman has cleaners and although she "helps out" on the farm, they will have a huge amount of staff no? I don't know why I'm obsessed with this this morning...maybe I'm bored of the Kardashians now!

@AssassinsEyebrow I did read the article! I only gleaned that the interviewer couldn't speak to her alone but that's because she has lots of kids and alone time doesn't really happen.

What I find really depressing is that she will be used to pressure other (Mormon) women into this lifestyle, but the difference is she gets to do it with extreme wealth behind her whereas the women she will influence won’t. There was a study showing that the rates of MLMs and antidepressant use are phenomenally high by women living in Utah.

The article linked above isn't the original interview.

I thought following the whole Ruby Franke debacle, that the State of Utah were banning the monetising of children. Obviously not if this is still going.

There was an article in the Guardian the other day, talking about her, the milkmaid woman, the creepy whisperer and someone else.

Also, not sure if it’s relevant or not, but apparently she’s never worked as a prof ballerina which I thought sad as that’s the name she still has.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/ng-interactive/2024/jul/24/tradwives-tiktok-women-gender-roles

Not sure if this is a link to the longer, earlier interview in the times

www.thetimes.com/article/34a971ae-4e4c-422c-8566-58b5f14dc81e?shareToken=70045df80e4d8c0b1c6e74c45bcfb382

I’m one of six children and none of us have big families, one has three but third was an accident.

I don't think there's anything wrong with giving up her career to have a large family if that's what she wanted.

However, there seem to be various hints that he's quite controlling, so that's a worry. She doesn't have her own car for example, and they live in the middle of nowhere (or so I'm told, I don't follow her).

Mormon culture.

It's heartbreaking watching it, she threw out all that hard work and dreams to be a slave to everyone else. As an ex-Mormon myself and how heavily the religion and cultures shaped my life, it gets me! Of course, back then I was promised rewards in heaven for my sacrifices and the more sacrifices the more rewards. It's hard to believe I thought like that but I did.

Hannah Neeleman told The New York Timess^ that the family hires farm workers, a personal assistant, a teacher to homeschool five school-aged children, and an occasional babysitter.[2] Hannah and Daniel have eight children, three sons followed by five daughters.[1][5] They are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.[1] Neeleman is associated with the tradwife movement but does not use the term or identify with it strongly.[11]

Husband’s family “own an airline”, so yep I think they are pretty rich. I think we can safely assume this is a toy ranch with no requirement to turn a profit, and these people are cosplaying pioneer life. Up to them of course, but not really attainable in real life by anyone else.

I've seen her videos for a while. Prior to all this blowing up, I've thought that she often looks tired / strained / stressed and he often looks quite irritated.
Anyway, tik tok is going mad over the whole thing. No cleaners or nannies but he pays for farm help; her ballet studio got turned into a classroom; he obviously makes the decisions and she has to follow them.
For me, the most shocking thing about this is that people are shocked! Living on a farm and having baby after baby and having to submit to some religious nutjob of a man sounds like pure hell to me. I don't understand the trad wife movement at all and it's interesting how people are so surprised that a "traditional" set-up is actually shit for the woman doing all the unpaid labour and making all the sacrifices. Of course it's shit! That's why we moved on from it. Anyway, I hope for her sake it's either what she wants or she finds a way out.

Read the article linked above

I feel the same , i think she knows exactly what she is doing and that it is very likely a joint mutual decision along side her husband.
She is very pretty and trades on it ,gives the impression of living a wholesome self efficient life, a harder life than one i would choose -this part doesn't quite ring true to me, why would you work your arse off when you are as rich as them? so i do think this may not be how they truly live behind the images they show, it makes them money though.
But 8 kids ,no thanks and she'll probably have more.
I think her home looks a bit grubby and it turns my stomach watching her drink the milky raw egg concoctions she makes but i still watch her posts !
She didn't have to leave her ballet life behind for a man even a millionaire 🤔

I feel the same , i think she knows exactly what she is doing and that it is very likely a joint mutual decision along side her husband.

Have you actually read the interview and her story? She wanted to wait to get married and have a baby, he pressured for it to happen earlier so she was forced to drop out of Juillard and have babies. Her "ballet studio" was even taken over to become a home-school room for the children.

They now live rurally, she has no access to a car and isn't even allowed to give birth without pain relief (unless her husband isn't around to tell her what to do). She even released a video giving the signal for "help" but it was deleted - presumably because he saw it and realised what she was doing.

She also has one of those smiles that never reach the eyes. I think she's a victim of her abusive religion and feel incredibly sorry for her.

Here’s the other link.

www.thetimes.com/article/34a971ae-4e4c-422c-8566-58b5f14dc81e?shareToken=cb629925119c9ff1f1faba98ab369751

Which school? Sorry, I don’t follow them but interested to know what she gave up to be a trad wife.

Yes he is from a very wealthy family.

Juilliard dance school. Very hard to get into.

If that is an accurate depiction of her life it is heartbreaking.

I don't follow her, but always assumed these trad wife type influencers had an army of support behind the scenes.

The thing is, it’s not just her husband. She was brought up like this too, was homeschooled herself and so on.

Is it homeschooling if you pay someone else to do it? 🤔

She was, but she clearly wanted something different for herself - she went to New York to become a ballet dancer, not to stay home having babies.

I think her husband has used their shared religion to control and abuse her. She may have made the "choice" to have babies and get married but choices made within the confines of a controlling relationship aren't real choices, are they?

I’m from a large family. My mum had 6 kids by age 30. It was her choice, but our childhood was chaotic. She did not cope well and struggled with her mental health. She was often depressed and overwhelmed with the demands of parenting and running a household. She and my dad had a traditional marriage and definitely believed in traditional gender roles. My dad was also quite demanding and his needs & wants came before everyone else’s.

So, a lot of the Ballerina Farm stuff seems familiar to me, and not in a good way. The Times article where the husband says she frequently is so ‘exhausted’ she has to take to her bed for a week reminds me of my mum. It wasn’t exhaustion, it was depression. Coming home from school to find mum in bed, mid-afternoon with a ‘headache’ was a regular occurrence.

Like a PP, none of us have large families. One sibling is childless by choice, the rest of us have between 1 and 3 kids each.

What's drudgery to you isn't to someone else. I'm a SAHM and people are forever asking me, 'dont you find it Soo boring?:.
And normally add some condescending 'ooh I could never do that I need to be stimulated '
Honestly your job as a pa or secretary or solicitor sounds pure drudgery to me. I wouldn't find making photocopies, doing admin, preparing court documents for the umpteenth time, anything but boring.
So just because you like labouring outside of the home, doesn't mean everyone does.
We live on a farm (orangerie) and I cannot tell you the joy I find in picking fresh oranges every morning and juicing them for breakfast.
Making home made lemonade on hot summer days.
I love cooking with the herbs in our back garden with my kids at my feet.
Etc.
I can't think of something more boring than being at the beck and call of your (usually male) boss .
I much prefer making a sandwich for my husband and trying to cook and wear what he likes.
Just because you wouldn't like it doesn't mean it's abuse or a weird culture(not saying you said it's abuse)
(Also obv not all jobs are for a boss and repetitive, but most are)
Btw I'm not trying to single your post out, I just answered on yours.