Made a fool of my self tonight and now I feel so low

[passwordrequired]

Oh I need to just write this down to calm down. I love on a fairly long street and it's a quiet area all people are lovely.

We have this one guy who lives on the road who is a pain I've had run ins with past. He drives up and down it at 60 miles per hour on a 20 mph road. (School on the road)

My kids I darent let them out on the front to play just incase he's bombing it down the street. He's always got police at his door or arguing.

Last night 3 am and then at 4.30am he's fighting in the front with his dad. I had no sleep because of this.

Then around 8pm tonight he's arguing driving recklessly way above the limit. My little girl got upset because the cars are so loud.

Any way he pulled back up got out of his car and I went over lost my shit. Said it was unbearablle.

He threatened to batter me and I had half the street watching.
My husband is mr nice guy and didn't get involved much. My next door neighbour was sticking up and saying she has young. Children and it's unbearable.

It was resolved in the end he said sorry but I feel so ashamed that I was so hot headed and got angry and all the street were watching,

Some of the ladies on the street said good on me for doing it.

But I just feel like a complete nutter now.

Why did I react like that 😔😔

This.

Many years ago I got into a similar row outside a nightclub with a twat of a man. DH played it very calm and tried to diffuse the situation, which was infuriating to me at the time. I could (should) have just walked away but instead things escalated and eventually as DH went to get in between us the guy produced a knife. Thankfully DH wasn’t stabbed that night, but the whole incident changed my attitude for the future. The thought that DH could have been killed because I just couldn’t let it go makes me feel sick.

I think those posters gleefully stating that their DH’s would ‘deck’ the OP’s neighbour are married to thugs. There is no excuse for escalating verbal abuse into physical in my opinion and who knows where it would have ended. When the neighbour started to threaten the OP, the best thing to do would have been to withdraw and call the police.

Ashamed for what? Why aren't you allowed to be angry about something that would make any reasonable person angry?

He sounds like he deserved a lot more. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣Well done. Bet the curtain twitchers were egging you on! Don’t worry about it!

Fishing for compliments thread?

Don't feel bad OP, we can all lose it when, especially when we are tired and our kids are asleep and we dont want them to get upset or wake up. It also sounds like he deserved it.

can’t figure out how to delete my comment posted in wrong place

Exactly what I was going to say...!!!

A man was threatening to 'batter' you and yourhusband did nothing?

He's the one whos made a fool of himself.

Good for you, really hope it helps too.

If someone said they would'batter' me and my husband was not by my side backing me I would be unimpressed

Good for you!

I'd have lost all respect for your husband though, as I cannot abide a wimp.

I have no idea about this, but I wonder if it’s possible to request a speed camera from the council. One went up near us recently in an area where people speed a lot. You could email and ask, maybe

I would have been 100% on your side, cheering from the wings. In fact, I would have moved to stand shoulder to shoulder with you. You are one brave lady. Selfish twats like him need to be told. I'm glad most of your neighbours backed you up. Sometimes losing your shit is a good thing. Maybe this obnoxious creature might think twice in the future before revving up his boy racer and behaving in other antisocial ways.

I’d have been fucking fuming if DH had intervened if I were in the OP’s position.

It would have been nice to have him there for moral support, but I’m a competent adult who can deal with these things without the protection of a man.

I also know from experience that a man stepping in can just escalate the whole situation, so it’s often best if they don’t.

I think you did the right thing! Well done!

You’ve done nothing wrong.
Start recording his driving and making notes of all his anti social behaviour. Once you’ve got some evidence, go to the police.

You should be proud! Sounds like the street regard you as their hero! You’ve said what everyone else has wanted to for years!

Good on them for backing you! That is needed to make arseholes like that back down. I hope things improve!

Yes another man intervening would probably escalate it.

But a man who's instinct is not to protect a women from another aggressive man who is physically threatening her is a poor specimen of a man.
Particularly if that women is his wife.
But actually if it's any women.

And no, women can't 'handle' physically aggressive men alone. What a very dangerous message to give. Violence against women and girls no big deal? Women can handle it??

They only justification for no intervention here is if the OP, her DH, and all neighbours knew with certainly he's all talk and wasn't going to hurt her.
But that's a dangerous game to play with your wife's safety.

It's shameful a man can openly threatened to hit a woman and no one intervened.

Can you point out where I’ve said this please?
And no, women can't 'handle' physically aggressive men alone. What a very dangerous message to give. Violence against women and girls no big deal? Women can handle it??

I’ve worked in situations with a lot of angry and potentially violent men for a lot of years and the vast majority of the time a woman talking to that man is able to deescalate it whereas a man is less likely to be able to. Maybe the difference is that I’m pretty good at telling when it’s all noise and threat is minimal and I’m certainly not expecting that everyone should be able to do that.

But I do find it offensive to me and to my husband when there is an assumption that if he trusts me to deal with things it’s because he’s a poor specimen. He’s actually an incredibly good judge of character and will stand up for people when it’s needed, including putting himself in danger, but he also knows that there are times when it’s the wrong thing to do.

I was renowned, pre kids, for having the longest fuse of anyone. Then I had kids. Once, a year or so ago, I was in a very small, enclosed playground. This dad came in with his 12 year old son or son, plus about 4 little kids. The little kids started running around, swearing at each other, one was calling the other a fucking bitch, they were yanking on each others hair, kicking each other, shoving each other into the dirt, swearing some more etc, meanwhile the dad, who was right next to them letting them hit each other and call each other bitch etc, was hoofing a fucking football around the playground with his oldest son, it was ricocheting off all the wooden structures and as it was such a small playground, it was smacking into other kids, smacked mine 3 fucking times, they never said sorry. Just hoofing the fucking football around whilst his feral children ran amok.

My 3 came over to me and I said, look, just stay near me, they've just said they're leaving and once they've gone, we can relax. Other people also left the playground because of them.

My oldest, who was then about 10, said one of the little girls was threatening my 6 year old daughter, saying she was going to throw her off the top of the play castle etc, kick her head in. It was insane. The family then go to leave when one of his 6 year olds turned around, stared at me, then marched up to me with a grin on her face and said "he, HE, called me a BITCH". My ds looked horrified - and my other two kids instantly said, mum, he didn't, it was HER swearing, so without looking at her because I was so angry by that point, I just held up my hand and firmly said "No, thank you. Please leave" (I worked then in a nursery and with bad behaviour we were always told to say no thank you). She stared at me. By that point the dad had left the playground, but had stopped with his back to us, obviously listening in. But not doing anything. The little girl then repeated it louder as if she couldn't believe I wasn't shouting at my ds, pointing at him and stomping her foot. "HE, HE CALLED ME A BIIIIIITCH!!!". And I couldn't help it, without looking at her, without pointing etc, I just held my hand up again and just said "NO". And that's when the dad spun around, "You don't tell other people's kids no! You don't tell other people's kids no!" etc etc. So I lost it on him. I pointed out he was hoofing that stupid ball around, how it had hit mine and other people's kids, how his kids were smacking each other and swearing and how his kid had threatened to throw mine off the top of the tower. He just kept repeating himself. So I ended it with "well if you parented your own children other people WOULDN'T HAVE TO!".

It's the only time I've ever truly lost it with someone. My mouth was just talking, and I was just so angry, and it was like I was watching myself shout at the guy out of body. I was ashamed after. But my kids still talk about "the demon child and her demon dad" and they can laugh about it now, but at the time the other kids really scared them.

Good for you!

I did the same a while back - motorbike rider in the street who would just stand and rev the engine for fun at 10pm. Lost my shit and ran out screaming at him to turn it the fuck off (in my defence I was severely sleep deprived with a 7 month old going through a brutal regression, it would take me ages to get him to nap then the fucking revving would wake him).

He threatened to batter you though and your husband did nothing?!

I would be thrilled if one of my neighbours lost their shit at one of the dickheads who drive those stupid loud cars. I'd think very highly of them.

By the way, you probably lost it because constant or repetitive noise is torture and eventually makes you snap.

You haven't made a fool of yourself!

You've become the street hero.

You just did what everyone else wishes would happen but everyone is too scared of aggravating him.

Let's hope he tones it down now. Doubt it, but would be nice.

I get it OP- and I'd have been just the same afterwards. Some people just find confrontation and being assertive easy I think. You were really brave!! We have a similar nob in our street and a friend of mine lives right next door. She always amazes me at how she handles him, whereas I know I'd be shaking like a leaf.

I would def think about reporting this incident though, and the threat, given there were witnesses.

You're a legend OP. This guy sounds like a nightmare.