make me feel better by telling me about cringing at yourself

[CrinolinMcCringe]

I had an appointment with a man I fancied a bit in a professional context.
He asked me how I was and I didn't just overshare, it was like projectile vomiting sharing. The worst bit is that after I left I realised I was subconcious trying to impress him but really it was like I'd vomited on him with my life. I keep thinking about it and I want to die. I don't know him at all and the 'how are you' question was that very English thing of not a real question which makes it worse.

Please tell me something you've done that made you cringe to make me feel better.

@OliveWah Ha ha thank you. Made me laugh a lot. I do sometimes wonder about some of the stupid stuff that has happened to me...sometimes I look round expecting Jeremy Beadle to appear. 😂

@CarrieMoonbeams Ha ha that is utterly superb! Ha ha 😂

@Funkyslippers "sweaty rag" 😂

Thanks everyone - these have made me feel better!

The teeth one reminds me of my little male cousin once saying to an elderly matriachal lady who was not bothered by the odd wiry facial hair at a wedding "why don't you shave your moustache"? His mother nearly had a heart attack.

Back when I was a student nurse the trains were often late/cancelled and I was getting in trouble for being late to shift.

So one day, train was cancelled and no bus turned up. I was panicking and it was pouring with rain....
I saw a guy get into a taxi so I ran over opened the door and asked if he would mind sharing. He looked at me oddly but agreed and I happily chatted to him and the driver all the way to the next station. I got out and offered to pay half but the driver and passenger both refused.

It was then I realiesed that it wasnt a taxi and I had in fact jumped in a random strangers car and hijacked them to get to work!!

I cringe to this day!!!

Many years ago now I was with my then fiancé visiting his dad for the weekend. A fee two many drinks were had and fiancé kept trying to get me to bed however I was having none of it! I was up for more drinks and the karaoke with his dad and step mum. I eventually made it upstairs and walked into to grumpy pants in bed looking hella sexy, so I decided on what I thought was a sexy strip tease at the bottom of the bed... I started to slowly crawl up the bed kinda on top of him but using the quilt to drag my (un) sexy arse up towards the head of the bed when suddenly the quilt was coming away from the bed in my hands (not sure how to explain it better). I was scrabbling for purchase as I felt myself falling backwards off of the bed on to my back with a thud!! His dad rushed in to see me naked on the floor trying to fight off a quilt. He said the next day with my legs and arms in the air I looked like a dying fly. Mortified!

I put my hand out to take a bag from someone but he put his hand out to mine thinking I was offering a hand shake so I awkwardly went with it then asked for the bag. Im not sure he even registered what had happened as he was very polite and smiley but I still laugh/cringe when I remember it.

My youngest cat just walks off when your in the middle of telling him off and the rest just act like they don’t know what I’m talking about but they understand perfectly well when it comes to food.

Took my car to the garage for repairs. On collection I didn't notice that the mechanic had left it in first gear with the handbrake off.
So, you guessed it, I jumped in and started it, it shot forward into the garage wall.
The only saving grace was that he was standing to the side and the car was built like a tank. I never went back there 🥺

My first job when I was a teenager. I borrowed a small mirror to put my make-up on then I dropped it and it smashed. The owner said kindly "its OK, put the bits in the basket". I began putting the bits in her shopping basket. She looked at me in disbelief and said "I meant the waste basket".

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 can't stop laughing...sorry lol

🤣🤣🤣 oh no!

Well, he probably didn’t realise you liked him and just think you are very chatty. Just don’t do it again if road cross again…

I can’t bare to share my ultimate bad moments lol but don’t worry too much about yours, it is almost sweet!

good luck 🌺

I went on a fairground ride when I was in my early 20s. It was the circle one where you aren’t strapped in, you just sit on the seat. And then it goes round and round really fast and bumps you all over the place. By the end of it my jeans were round my knees and I was sat on some strangers knee in my knickers. Damn low riding jeans! I was beyond mortified. I just muttered sorry, slid off, pulled my kecks up and dragged my friends away who could barely walk for laughing. Bitches!

This happened to me when I was a fairly new train conductor and hadn't quite found my train legs.
Landed in the lap of a regular commuter on a very busy train, a few days later it happened again, same guy!
Throughout the rest of my railway career he'd put his hands up to catch me every time I saw him 😂

I went on a camping weekend, it wasn't forecast to be nice weather-wise so didn't take sunscreen! Turns out it was THE most glorious weekend! I ended up with the redest face you've ever seen. Roll on to Monday when I was meeting my NEW manager! I was thinking I look like a blooming tomato what a great impression!
He walks in and says Hi, I'm xxxx your new manager, I shook his hand and said I'm LittleShismism your new tomato!!!!!
He just looked at me shocked, I wanted the ground to swallow me up!

Thennnnnnn.......oh it gets better. Where our office was it backed on to canals and was quite industrial with factories, cement, food, pallets etc. We were having a conversation and he said I can smell 'barges' I said well its not a surprise we're on the canal. Turns out he meant onion bhajis and I could smell them too! He must've thought what a daft mare I have working as my assistant 🙄
He still took the mickey out of me out of me up until he left the business!

I still cringe a bit whenever I see a barge or smell bhajis!

Omg this made me 😂😂😂

I asked a guy out to dinner, got myself gussied up - tight waist cincher, skyhigh platforms. I saw him in the car park, as arranged, and tripped up getting out of my car. Right down on my hands and knees. Bad enough but my corset was so tight and the platforms on my shoes were so big I couldn't bend my ankle and foot enough to stand up again. Laddered stockings, scuffed shoes, bleared mascara. He was trying very hard not to laugh when a woman passing by said loudly, 'It's a bit early to be that drunk!' I don't know how I got through the evening.

Drunkenly mistook a used, drained 3 day old tea bag for a left over onion bhaji at the first ever meeting of the in laws at a family dinner.

I was teaching class and getting the adult students to introduce themselves. One was a police officer. I asked if he had shot anyone...

I die thinking about this every time

I am on the floor imagining how you dealt with that in the moment.
Glad they're your ILs now!

This reminded me of when I worked in a primary school and a lovely blind gentleman came in to visit with his guide dog. I was chatting him and he said I could pet his dog, so I did, but the dog was a drooler and I ended up with a phlegmy hand...just as the man said 'Lovely to meet you!' and shook my hand 🙈😂

I think you mean a prick?
The T word just adds to your ineptitude in given situations ie you're on a Mums" app of mainly females and the worst you can describe yourself is by using female parts..?

What a sweetheart he was ! :)

Come on, he admits that he was totally wrong to do it, and has obviously learnt from it!

Blind colleague had worked in the company for years, got in the lift and made small talk, said to him 'bet you've seen some changes here over the years'

Same company, open plan office, somehow managed to go over on my ankle, stagger forward and literally go head first into a metal filing cabinet. Made a hell of a bang and I ended up on my arse with a very sore ankle and head