make me feel better by telling me about cringing at yourself

[CrinolinMcCringe]

I had an appointment with a man I fancied a bit in a professional context.
He asked me how I was and I didn't just overshare, it was like projectile vomiting sharing. The worst bit is that after I left I realised I was subconcious trying to impress him but really it was like I'd vomited on him with my life. I keep thinking about it and I want to die. I don't know him at all and the 'how are you' question was that very English thing of not a real question which makes it worse.

Please tell me something you've done that made you cringe to make me feel better.

I was at a Toddler group with DS and some ladies from Sure Start visited.
One of them used to work at the Preschool DD had gone to a few years previously and came to speak to me.
She gave the the details of the Sure Start centre and said I would be welcome to go - I replied "well I hardly think they are for people like me".
A lot of people think I am posh because despite growing up here I don't have much of a local accent so I must have sounded like a total twat.
I didn't know what Sure Start was for, I thought it was for people who needed extra support due to issues like drugs, alcohol or difficult home situation and I was trying to say that I wouldn't want to take time or resources from people who needed them.
Probably just sounded like a stuck up cow.

Well they always used to be for families who needed a little more support and were having trouble coping. This was when my children were young and they're grown up now so things might have changed.

Actually, I think it was my finest moment! 🙈

Oh I did this a few months ago! We were queueing in cars to get into our local national trust place (temporary traffic lights but a lorry was parked blocking the view of the lights). Everyone was sat in cars for ages so I got out to look and see what was up, and I tripped on a bag strap and fell out of the car really badly😆
Afterwards, a woman from another car said to me "you fell over, didn't you" 😂 But I don't cringe about that as much as I do about stupid things I've said over the years especially trying to impress people 😬

A recent one. I went for a walk. A man was walking towards me, I kind of know him from way back as we went to the same schools, though I’ve never interacted with him much. He was at a distance and waved so I waved back. He had such a friendly look on his face.

i thought, that’s really nice, he must remember me.

Reader, was he waving at me?

No. No, he wasn’t. Of course not, but to a man directly to my left 🤦‍♀️

Two people, who don’t like me very much, came round the corner as this unfolded and saw the whole thing, and as soon as the four of them came together they chatted like old friends. I silently stalked off like Billy No Mates I am.

I shall never wave in public again 😂

😂😂😂😂

You probably broke that's cat's spirit, abusing him and punishing him for doing something that is his entire purpose for being. I hope he ran away and found a more decent and less cruel owner. Poor cat

Oh God your reply has made me laugh more than any of the posts on here. Broke that cats spirit, hope he ran away 😂😂😂😂

This reminded me of something that happened 15 years ago, I was chatting to a mum at an activity my DS was doing and she mentioned something about her dog and I asked what kind of dog she had, she replied saying a guide dog (me cringing remembering her husband was blind) so I reply saying oh that's my favourite kind 😳😳😳

I've spoken about this here before, but it just came to mind again tonight.

I was walking my dogs and saw what I thought was my neighbour Linda across the road in a nice yellow bonnet-style hat. I shouted "Hi Linda!". No answer. I looked over and saw Linda's next door neighbour standing beside his car, laughing. He said "Did you think that was Linda? You really need to wear your glasses, you daft wee bat!"

What I thought was Linda in her cheery hat was actually a very tall sunflower!

This also reminded me of one, the salon I get my nails done in the owner was walking passed one day and she was limping and I sad oh have you hurt yourself, her no I have a disability 😳😳 I had never noticed it before now everytime I go I feel so bad 😳

That one KILLED me 🤣
Thanks Runki

You're being way too harsh on yourself, lol!

Get a grip you absolute bloody loon it’s a cat not a child as they owner of 5 cats I can tell you that they don’t understand or at least mine pretend not to understand me until they want feeding.

I did work experience at a chemist as a VERY naïve and sheltered 15 year old. A man came in with a prescription for the pill for his daughter. I had no idea at the time that the pill was free on the NHS and asked him if he was paying, he said something like "I should hope not, it's free!" 😳

I was 17 and on a college trip to Paris. Me and several friends were in a crowded nightclub and I was sitting on a low table as there were no seats. All of a sudden a very good looking French guy leaned down and grabbed me by the upper arm. Thinking he was asking me to dance I jumped up with a hysterical smile on my face and rushed on to the dance floor. Looking back assuming he was following I was mortified to see he was collecting glasses from the table and just wanted me to move. I had to do a little bit of jigging around on the dance floor to look as though I’d just fancied a solo dance.

Thats brilliant 👏

@notnorman 😂 🤣 😆 😄

@NotATory You're welcome! 😀

It made me cringe. Never cared but I think it was just the fact he was a police officer and I felt really stupid.
Only good thing was he found it funny.

I'd just finished a very tough, sweaty exercise class and I got a piece of blue roll they provide to wipe myself down with. I was just putting it in the bin when a bloke reached over to get some and accidentally touched mine. I said "oops you touched my sweaty rag!" I walked away thinking "wtf have I just said?" I was actually trying not to piss myself laughing but wanting to die at the same time

It was another Mum at school pick up later (good friend so not being mean) explained to me that I probably looked like a snobby cow as Sure Start was for everyone so maybe she was wrong and I am not a Twat

Depends what a "very clumsy and very drunken pass" looks like really, especially from your boss

I'm laughing so much I'm on the floor!

This cringe worthy moment didn't happen to me, but to a customer.

About 20 years ago I was the manager of a charity shop, I was on till duty and a middle-aged couple came in with their grandson in a buggy. Granny was desperate for another pair of sensible shoes because as she showed me, the 1/4 inch heel had completely come off the left one just as they were walking past the shop!

So she walked down to the back of the shop where the footwear was and granddad /grandson stayed by the till while granny found some shoes.

Granddad raised his arms in the air, hands like claws, pulled a funny face and said to grandson ''I'm a big monster and I'm going to eat you!''

The lad replied quite seriously and adult-like ''you're not a monster, you're my granddad, and you can't eat me because you haven't put your teeth in yet!''

Myself, all other customers and granny rocked the shop with great laughter and clapping and poor granddad just went dark red and didn't know where to put himself!

The boy would be about ... 24 now ... and I wonder if he still remembers!

This reminds me of my little brother. When he was around 6yo there was some super-formal event we had to go to.
Mum got us all dressed up, explained (again!) how we needed to say nice hellos to people, and try to say something friendly, but after the introductions she would find us somewhere to play with the other kids.

So there we are, saying hello (it wasn't a wedding, but imagine the receiving line at the start of the evening). My brother shakes hands with one of the hosts, points behind him, and says in a very serious voice "hello. This is my nana, she can take her teeth out."

Thankfully, everyone found it hilarious, though it's never been forgotten!

I can't agree there, my cat thinks it's bloody hilarious if she gets told off!