Husband calls me 'Nag Wife'

[anonymouslt123]

Hi mumsnet. Posting with a throwaway account.

My husband (35M), married for 3 years, has been calling me 'Nag Wife' as a nickname. I don't even think I nag that much, but he says it (as a joke, apparently) every time I ask him to do anything. Like, he'll call me Nag Wife while I'm vacuuming or cleaning up after him, or say that washing up etc are 'Nag Wife activities'. I know it's a joke (and I actually don't mind doing the housework), but is it? His latest 'joke' is to do a fake dejected sigh any time I ask him to do anything, like make me a cup of tea, and say 'Yes Nag Wife'.

He even has me saved in his phone as Nag Wife...

I spoke to him and he says it's a joke, but am I being disrespected? Or am I overthinking things?

There is no way I would tolerate that hostility and disrespect.

Jokes that are at someone else’s expense, when that person does not find them funny, are not humor. That’s bullying.

No, don't call him a nick name. He'll just take that as a green light to carry on. Say to him very calmly and clearly "If you don't stop calling me nag wife, I will leave you". And mean it.

Deep down he knows that he is not pulling his weight, so he is deflecting his bad feelings on to you in an effort to make it your fault. Right now, it may be a joke, but before long he will start to believe his own bull. he may already believe it a little bit.

You are definitely overthinking what was meant as a joke.
If he's anything like my ex the more you protest the more he will continue with it.because it annoys you

How is it a joke when it is upsetting the OP, @Nipsmum?

I know she hasn’t said outright that it upsets her, but she wouldn’t be posting here if she thought it was as funny as he does, nor would she be planning to talk to him about it.

FWIW, I think it is deeply unfunny, mean, and intended to get her to stop asking him to pull his weight around the house - aka ‘nagging’.

Do you know what that's called?

Bullying

Total dickhead, just start calling him dickhead husband. Also such a weak response when people are pulled up on behaviour to respond with ‘it’s a joke’

I trust you have him saved under an equally 'hilarious ' name?

Yup! He’s gone too far! The first time it may have been funny but to call you this continuously and even put you in his phone under this name is actually completely and utterly childish and bordering on abusive. I would be having serious words and would probably stop doing anything for him until he changes his ways. He sounds like a knob!

Anyone mocking me by imitating me would get shown the door. His nickname should be Cunt.

My ex took delight in calling me 'Dippy doos' as I'm a bit forgetful, at first it was just mildly irritating but after a while it became annoying in a 'passive aggressive' way, one day we were in our way to a family gathering at his parents house when he started again, just as we pulled up outside their house I turned to him and said in a calm but menacing way... "If you call me that name just once more in front of your family I will verbally rip you to shreds in front of them and will have no qualms doing it either" as I rarely lose my temper I think he was a bit taken aback, funnily enough he never did it again.

Sorry, I don’t have time to read all the comments (this is a popular thread!) and I apologise if someone has already suggested this but he needs to be “twat head” in your phone and he needs to see it

Yup, this.

Yup. ‘If you don’t stop calling me that, they’ll be calling you ‘no wife’.