Husband calls me 'Nag Wife'

[anonymouslt123]

Hi mumsnet. Posting with a throwaway account.

My husband (35M), married for 3 years, has been calling me 'Nag Wife' as a nickname. I don't even think I nag that much, but he says it (as a joke, apparently) every time I ask him to do anything. Like, he'll call me Nag Wife while I'm vacuuming or cleaning up after him, or say that washing up etc are 'Nag Wife activities'. I know it's a joke (and I actually don't mind doing the housework), but is it? His latest 'joke' is to do a fake dejected sigh any time I ask him to do anything, like make me a cup of tea, and say 'Yes Nag Wife'.

He even has me saved in his phone as Nag Wife...

I spoke to him and he says it's a joke, but am I being disrespected? Or am I overthinking things?

@Growlybear83 I think you have a low bar if you think what OP is describing is light hearted

He sounds horrible. You probably have to ask him to do things because he doesn't nothing voluntarily and skips off any domestic chores - am I right? If he has other redeeming qualities (god knows what) and you want to stay then I'd say sit down and have a serious discussion with him. But do you want to be with someone who is abusive and doesn't pull their weight? I'd be tempted to save his number as Dick Head.

He has no respect for you.

I'd be handing him his divorce papers.

Get a cleaner, stop doing anything around the house for him

My Nickname for him would be IDLE COCK 😂 as he can't be called Cock Lodger as he is married to you . Just call him this when he berates you when you are cleaning and cooking. Save it as your ring tone too 😂

Tell he's a bit young for boomer "humour". Does he think MIL jokes are hilarious too?

My friends sister was married to a selfish lazy man.
Whilst their father was dying he did the least he could get away with and she was very pissed off about it.
She changed her phone to Ex husband and when he saw it she said that was how she saw him, particularly as she would be receiving a substantial inheritance.
He was stunned and upped his game massively. She hasn't divorced him to date, but she also has kept HER inheritance completely separate, solely in her name.

There are moments in some relationships where you cease to find your partner attractive because of something they do or say. This would do it for me. The ick would set in.

Yeah he's a dick. You don't need to ask if you're being disrespected, you know you are.

What he should be saying when you do household chores is thank you. Just like you should thank him when he does household chores (without needing to be asked to do so, because he's an adult human).

He sounds like a loser.

It's just a joke is the excuse men give when they can't justify their actions.

He needs a proper punchline. Try a divorce lawyer.

Meanwhile, go on strike and let him fetch and carry. Say nothing. Just sit back and watch. His response will be telling.

It's nasty ....
I don't get the asking him to help me.....it's not helping you it's both your jobs to do housework and cooking etc....he should just do his share presumably you both work so you both get in do chores then both relax.

This.
They are equally his jobs. Calling you that is awful and would affect how I see him. My vagina would dry up quicker than the sahara.

You need a new husband.

or just start calling ‘lazy fuck’.

That is SO rude
And nasty

I'd start referring to him as Lazy CF husband all the time and see how he likes it

Your husband is a wan**r and you need to have more respect for yourself. Why are you ‘asking’ a fully grown man to do housework? He lives there too? Why are you cleaning up after him? He sounds god awful.

Jokes are meant to be funny, this isn’t. It’s disrespect.

It's not in the slightest way amusing

He's a twat

HTH

Wanrrents a serious conversation about sexism and how it doesn't portray him favourably at all or you could start calling him Lazy Husband and play into the joke. Dominic a few times in front of his/mutual friends and shame him.

Haha yes, I call him Lazy Husband because he calls me Nag Wife. I keep telling him, if he could think for himself and act like a Modern Man we wouldn't need to revert to lazy sterotypes. But Lazy Husband likes to portray us as a 50s stereotype so if you can't beat em, join em.

Not sure that works in the event of a divorce, does it?

'Boomer humour'?

Oh dear.

Urgh. Dealbreaker.

It's supposed to be a joke? Really!

My 'joke' not joke name for him would be 'Bastard Ex' ....see how he laughs at that!

If be calling him 'ex husband'.

You know this is the beginning of abuse right?

At best in designed to manage down your expectations so he never had to do his share in the home. In a horrible way.

Don't have kids with him.

@Nanny0gg I think an inheritance can be kept separate for divorce purposes if it has been shown to be kept separate and not for example spent on an extension to the family home and increasing the value of the property which would have to be shared, or put into a joint account

Don’t you just hate it when men say “it’s a joke’”. It invariably means it’s not a joke, I’m insulting you but dressing it up as humour. If you don’t laugh then they see it as you having no soh as well as guilty of what other jibes they’re aiming at you. It’s puerile. Tell him straight to quit his nonsense or there’ll be consequences.

This is not a joke as it is not remotely funny or acceptable. Tell your twat husband this is 2024 not 1954, and he should be doing his share of the cleaning, cooking and other household jobs. (Why are you cleaning up after him anyway?)

If he continues to disrespect you in this manner, I would be saving him in my phone as Ex Twat Husband and file for divorce.

You can do better than this waste of space You deserve better too.