Husband calls me 'Nag Wife'

[anonymouslt123]

Hi mumsnet. Posting with a throwaway account.

My husband (35M), married for 3 years, has been calling me 'Nag Wife' as a nickname. I don't even think I nag that much, but he says it (as a joke, apparently) every time I ask him to do anything. Like, he'll call me Nag Wife while I'm vacuuming or cleaning up after him, or say that washing up etc are 'Nag Wife activities'. I know it's a joke (and I actually don't mind doing the housework), but is it? His latest 'joke' is to do a fake dejected sigh any time I ask him to do anything, like make me a cup of tea, and say 'Yes Nag Wife'.

He even has me saved in his phone as Nag Wife...

I spoke to him and he says it's a joke, but am I being disrespected? Or am I overthinking things?

Save him in your phone as “Incompetent husband”

Nagging someone is something you have to do if they are incompetent and won’t get tasks done.

He sounds like a man baby

That's horrible, not a joke, not funny at all
I wouldn't like it (or accept it) at all

Nagging is a pejorative term solely used to describe women

Fucking Dickhead husband. Ugh

I see OP hasn't returned to receive the reassurance she was seeking. Seems like yet another wind up thread to get the ladies frothing.

This is emotional abuse. In one way you are lucky that he has started this before you have had any children because at least you know before you have any permanent ties to him. Mine started after I had a baby, when he would refer to me as 'Bum' instead of 'Mum' to DC and then later taught DC to call me the same. It sounds silly and 'funny' but it screwed my self esteem and it was a symptom of other insidious ways he was emotionally abusive, like redoing all the washing up or hoovering when I had done it because I was 'rubbish at it'.

Don't stay quiet like I did.

What a rude bastard he is!
I think you need to be completely unequivocal about this and tell him it's not an acceptable to way to talk to you and you consider it a dealbreaker.
Because it is really, if you allow him to talk to you like that, things are going to get worse. If you ask him to stop and he doesn't, it means that he doesn't care about you or your feelings. Even if you were being unreasonable ( you're not) simply asking him not to call you that should be enough for him to stop. If he carries on belittling you like that, it shows what he really thinks of you.
So tell him, "do it again and you're out." And mean it.

I'd start calling him Prawn Dick and tell him it's just a joke 🤷‍♀️

Wow, thanks everyone. I didn't expect this many people to get back in touch.

I'm going to have a talk with him tonight (and maybe use a few choice names in his direction!).

I'll let you know how it goes when he gets back. He likes to imitate my voice (it's an awful impression, another 'joke' from Captain Comedy), but I think I need to be serious. Thx all.

Why do you ask him to make you tea?

Jokes are funny for both parties. What he's doing is bullying

I'd make one up for him to see if he finds it funny.

I'd call him Twat Husband.

Yes I agree, I was also a teacher and our way of defining bullying was if someone does something you don't like one time, that's not bullying. But if you tell them you don't like it and ask them to stop, and they keep doing it - then that's bullying.

Sending hugs- it's a hard situation but really important you get this to stop.

He's not actually joking
He's putting you in your place
Don't let him

@anonymouslt123 he just belittles you

He sounds absolutely vile. Calling you names and mocking your voice. He has no respect for you at all. I’m not sure this is salvageable at this point but if you want to try and make it work, tell him ONE more instance and it’s game over.
Saving that in his phone as your name is awful too as I imagine other people will see it when you call etc

I'm going to have a talk with him tonight (and maybe use a few choice names in his direction!).

I was going to suggest Doofus, and then I read,

He likes to imitate my voice.

OP this guy is a piece of work. Mocking you and belittling you all wrapped up in the guise of a joke. Does he say/do other things to chip at your confidence or to invalidate you or make you second guess yourself?

I think I need to be serious.
Yes. You do.

Forget about calling him names too. Call him out on his behaviour - you are 100% correct in thinking that it is not right. Generally, you do not disrespect people that you like, never mind disrespecting the person you are meant to love. The old chestnut 'it's just a joke' 'or you can't take a joke' are the words of a gaslighter and a bully.

Your husband of 3 years is meant to love you, not insult you, or gaslight you, to the point that you have to come to mumsnet to check if it's you that has the problem.

You're being disrespected. Make one for him equally as hurtful. Don't stop calling him it. If he can dish it out, let him take it too.

If it is held in an account in the sole name of the inheritance recipient it is.

If it was used to fund a new marital home or pay off a jointly held morgage, then it becomes a shared marital asset and any spouse would be fully entitled to their share upon divorce.

Mocking your voice??? Bloody hell OP, have you really no idea just how viciously disrespectful he is of you?

no, really sorry but as a once off I’d roll my eyes and laugh, but as a constant thing I think I’d lose it as some stage. He wouldn’t like to be layabout husband or anything!

I'd be calling him dickhead husband- it'll be fine it's a really funny joke after all.!

I would say nobhead would be appropriate!

He sounds like an annoying knob head

He sounds childish and disrespectful.

I'd save him as 'Dickhead hubs' under my phone and when u need his attention for something.. 'hey dickhead, can you go take the bins out please?'.

I know it's tit for tat but he deserves it.

Hope you get it sorted.