To want my adult niece and nephew to call my Aunty Emma?

[egaley]

AIBU? Am I old fashioned?

I have an adult nephew and niece (28 and 26). They have always called me Aunty Emma.

We were having a big family meal and my cheeky nephew called me just “Emma” when he wanted to say something. I corrected him and asked him why he called me Emma, my name is Aunty Emma!

I'm in my 60s. Even as a child I found it awkward to use 'auntie' and 'uncle', though I'm not sure why, though I was never that close to any of them so maybe that's it.

In our family, none of the children have ever referred to their uncles and aunts as such, other than when explaining who they are to someone. So I have always been 'first name' to my siblings' children and vice versa. Grandparents and parents are referred to in the usual way though.

I dropped the use of 'uncle' and 'aunt' as an adult as soon as I felt I could, and none of them ever said anything. To me, it's akin to calling a colleague 'Mr' or 'Mrs' - feels alienating and awkward.

Aah, I love being Aunty Grey, my closest nieces and nephews, and even wider family members who don’t have a blood connection, call me aunty. I do have other nieces and nephews who call me Grey though, and that’s fine too.

I was surrounded by priests and nuns when I was a child (children’s homes and school) and when I see any of them now I still call them “sister x” or “father y” even though I’m an adult and they just use their first names. It’s just comforting for me and they are a link to happy childhood times, it isn’t because I see them as authority figures at all.

Bloody hell I’m just happy if my adult nephews call me at all 😂

I find it VERY STRANGE that the general consensus seems to be that adults can call their uncles and aunties by their names.

I have never seen or heard anyone drop titles for anyone ever. For me, it's also a sign of respect for older relatives. Mr. or Mrs. is obviously too formal, so Uncle or Aunty covers things pretty well.

I agree with you OP but I see we are in the minority!

In our family you would have graduated from being Aunty Emma to being Aunt Emma when they got older, but we still use the title / prefix / whatever you want to call it.

You were the rude one. He used your name, you don't get to dictate a title. The cheek of you, you owe the child an apology.

I think it depends on the family relationships TBH.

My DH doesn't seem a lot of any of his Aunts/Uncles and still refers to them as Uncle Bob, Uncle John, Aunt Helen etc. when speaking about them.

On the other hand, mine are/were basically a constant presence in my life. One is more like a sister, has never been Auntie anything. Others are much older and have been more like an extra set of grandparents so it also now feels a bit weird to call them Uncle/Aunt when it doesn't cover what they are to me.

We call them what feels right.

Same here! And it’s the same in my husband’s family.

My DC have never used the title Aunt or Uncle when talking to or of those relations. To my ear it's as old fashioned as referring to Cousin Jim or Cousin Polly. The only times they use anything similar is when referring to their grandparents. Even then it is followed by the GP's first name - Granny Linda or Grandad Jim.

I'm in my 60s and always used Aunt and Uncle when growing up but that gradually fell away in my 20s. My twin sister OTOH always uses Auntie and Uncle even now. It sounds odd to me, particularly as she isn't close to them and only ever sees them at the now all too frequent funerals.

YABU.

To be truly accurate - she owes the man an apology!

We went to a family wedding recently. I’ve got quite a few cousins and I’m the oldest of them. We range from late 30s to pre teens in age and it’s almost like there are two separate generations of cousins as my kids are older than some of my cousins. I noticed that most of the cousins called our aunties and uncles using the title before their name, and that my brother and I were the only ones who had dropped it. It felt really awkward hearing other adults saying Auntie X while we just used X. I understood the younger ones doing it, but then my kids didn’t use Auntie or Great Auntie. It’s all too confusing but I’ve realised I’m an outlier in the family with it!

I've never experienced that, my adult nieces and nephews call me Auntie still and I still call my aunts and uncles by that and I'm nearly 40! I could honestly never imagine calling them just by their 1st names.

My oldest nephew is only a few years older than me, he used to call me Auntie when he was young but not now.
In fact several of them were born when I was in my teens.
I told all of them to drop the Auntie and some have, some prefer not to.

Que sera sera.

I'm in my 50s and Scottish and still call my aunt Auntie, as do my children.

When I was a little girl my grandfather's spinster aunt was still alive and my grandparents all called her Aunt X, the younger generations called her an affectionate nickname that my Dad had called her as a small child before he could say her name.

My kids are teenagers and call their favourite aunts and uncles by their title but not the ones they don't like, it's a sign of family bonds and affection and particularly for the adults who don't have children themselves it's important to have that unique relationship recognised. I'm surprised and saddened that many PPs think it's childish to use these titles, and think it's a sign of how fragmented some families are that they don't value these relationships.

Well Im in a total minority, I only have one aunt and I call her aunt x.

In messages

Not sure about real life as we dont meet up that much.

I've no time for this. I had a childhood full of it and someone above got it right, it's about keeping the young 'in their place', which I have no truck with.

I've left it up to nieces and nephews to choose and they've chosen different things - some have never called me Aunty and some have.

You can be rude using titles and polite without. That's the important thing.

Some of the examples given above of adults refusing to talk to young people/relatives because they are not using the right title really reflects a problem with the supposed adults.

I still call mine auntie and uncle. They hate it. I just find it weird to drop the title

It's not cheeky for a 28 year old to call you by your name. Aunty is a title not a name.

We only used them titles when kids were young like pre school age now they are all ages 7 and up in our family and auntie/uncle has been dropped.

Is that you Dorothy?

Auntie Em 😆, I was thinking that when I read the post.

Oh I don't think you can really insist OP but I'd find it weird calling my Aunties and Uncles by their first names! And I'm almost 40!

You really want a grown man to call you aunty? That’s bizarre.