Not trying to be inflammatory but why do people *need* more than two kids?

[ConstantlyFuriosa]

Just that.

Who decided 2 is the correct amount?

Most families have 1 dc.

”There are estimated to be around 3.7 million one-child families in the United Kingdom as of 2023, with a further 3.38 million two-child families, and 1.18 million families that have three or more children.”

Low birth rate is an extremely serious demographic problem. And that's an understatement.

That is fine if that is what they want or have chosen for whatever reason. It's not what I wanted so I did what I wanted.

Love being pregnant, love babies, love toddlers, love primary age, slight less love for the teenagers, love the adults, love the big family gatherings. I have 4 but would have happily have had 6, I just couldn't because of circumstances.

The people I know with 4+ kids are either very well off (women have high powered careers and nannies) - all kids in private school as with pp above. Or just scraping by eg minimum wage + family credit so issues like cars, holidays, expensive hobbies don't figure in the 'can we afford it' questions which the more middle class people think about.

I know several of the poorer type who have produced multiple kids after benefit cap introduced. I have no idea how they are managing.

4 kids here and I have a great career.

I had 2 of one sex, and then wanted another which we could easily afford and then had twins.

High birth rate is an extremely serious environmental problem. And that's also an understatement.

What is the answer?

We never had a child we couldn't afford. A popular question is how many bedrooms we have...6. I'm a SAHM. My husband is a very hands on Dad. 8 seater van. Holidays once a year, two last year. Extra curricular activities...archery, netball, piano x 3, rugby, rugby tots, choir, swimming. We just had a request for trombone. Grammar school for my child in secondary. 1:1 time is regular between my husband and I. What's missing? We have a cat. I'm wondering what two kid families have that I'm depriving my five kids of?

I don't understand how you tackle overpopulation at the same time though-genuinely asking, not being goady. My mum's a baby boomer and there were 54 kids in her class! That was always going to be a problem down the line, surely we can't keep having kids and pushing the can further along the road whilst the world runs out of resources?

I can't imagine wanting loads of children. I hate the chaos and drudgery that this would entail. I also like my sleep.

I truly believe that some selfish people consciously decide to have a child/children as an "insurance policy" against old age. The worst possible reason for producing a child - their life, their future has been mapped out and "stolen" by a devious parent before they can even get on to the Ladder of Life.

Each to their own. I like the chaos. There’s never a dull moment. I can’t imagine why you think someone with lots of children doesn’t get any sleep though? I’ve had years of full nights’ sleep since my youngest slept through.

We asked ourselves that too and sadly the answer was no. I'd have loved a third child but DH was more realistic.

I have 3 kids. But that was because I had DS1 when I was a teenager, so when I had DS2, DS1 was nearly 11 and I wanted a sibling close in age for DS2 as I think DS1 was lonely growing up as a single child until he was 10. But also I wanted another baby, and I also wanted to see if after 2 boys I might have a DD. But overwhelming it was because I wanted another child. If they were all close in age I don’t think I’d have had 3. Not least because of the close of full time (or 4 days a week as I later went to) nursery cost.

The majority of my friends have 2 children, all are same sex siblings. The only friend I know with more than 2 went for 4. They are all grown up now having kids of their own. She didn’t struggle with 4, and they are all really close which I think is lovely.

I don't understand how you tackle overpopulation that way-genuinely asking, not being goady. My mum's a baby boomer and there were 54 kids in her class! That was always going to be a problem down the line, surely we can't keep having kids and pushing the can further along the road whilst the world runs out of resources?

Theres a balance between schools closing in some parts of the country due to low birth rates & 54 kids in a classroom. A country that is comprised of mainly older people (we already have more over 65s than u15s) is unlikely to be a progressive or innovative one. And it’s definitely not going to be one with a strong economy.

We are already seeing an impact now with inflation etc

lol. Same here. Had one and was like nah… prefer sleep, peace and quiet.

In DH’s family everyone has girls. 2-3 girls now me with 2 girls, he is an only son. We will try another as that’s it. I understand the need to be comfortable but I think nowadays there is too much pressure to afford 6 after school hobbies for each child, expensive days out and holidays multiple times a year and then claim kids are unaffordable. Just because you splash out so much on kids doesn’t mean they won’t grow up to be awful adults either. My parents had nothing but me and my brother are highly educated with good careers. No private schools or private tuition either, just a very hands on mum who loved kids. Those who just don’t want them at all, I do understand, it is a very different and difficult life raising them.

@marshmallowboy I aspire to be like you! Finding toddler stage challenging but trying to be more positive because you only enjoy them little once.

High birth rate is an extremely serious environmental problem. And that's also an understatement.

The UK doesn’t have a high birth rate though, a softer fall would be better. Much of the population increase here is driven by people living longer and immigration.

@Hangingupnow well two seems like a good balance, and then some will have more and some won't have any. Seems like there's enough people everywhere tbh.

My third was an accident so not exactly a decision that I made on purpose.

Alongside some negatives (financial mainly!) there are so many positives to having 3 so I can now see people do want bigger families. I really love the chaos and how much more fun they have together compared to DS1 growing up as an ‘only’ for quite a few years. They all have such different personalities nothing is ever boring. I don’t feel they miss out on anything by me having one more, maybe abroad holidays but that’s about it.

If you have loads of children, then make sure you can afford them. The cap should stay.

95% of terrestrial life forms are humans and their livestock. We need to get a grip of human population before we destroy our planet completely.

What's the big deal with having a great job? Nice if you like it I suppose, but not the only worthwhile thing in life.

Someone could easily say that people with no or few kids have to spend so much time thinking about jobs that aren't actually all that important because they have such empty family lives. But that would be pretty narrow and stupid.