Not trying to be inflammatory but why do people *need* more than two kids?

[ConstantlyFuriosa]

Just that.

Like having kids, the number of kids you choose to have (if it's a choice) is just a purely selfish decision. Because they want to?

I do remember as a child, feeling slightly less happy with each sibling though 🫣 as things had to become stricter, routines firmer, chores needed done, and the house became a lot less 'go with the flow' after sibling no. 4. That was the choice of my parents though and it wasn't something I had a say in!

Not everyone with more than 2 kids is living on the breadline

Of course. But many people are using Universal Credit, food banks, benefits to make ends meet. Lots of families can't afford to upsize so the kids end up sharing bedrooms.
Bringing more children into poverty and stretching resources just seems bizarre.

We stopped at 2 because of my health, I was worried another pregnancy would be hard on all of emotionally as well as physically. Also I struggle to understand how mums with 3 or more make time for each child individually? My 2 need a lot of attention, teaching, playing, organising their lives. I wouldn't have as much time or energy doing that for 3.

Yes I get what you mean. To raise children well, to have time and energy to shape their characters, is part of being able to 'afford' them. Lots of people seem to think it's just affording to feed and clothe them. No matter what your financial situation, a 3rd will stretch your resources. Often people don't plan ahead either, eg have savings and insurance, in case a parent is ill and can't work for months, or a nanny is needed. It's not unusual to go from affluent to poverty these days.

For parents who employ a full time nanny, I think that solves the issue as a good nanny will focus on personal care, appointments, character, manners, laundry, bedding, new clothes, nutrition etc. Because her job is soley about raising the children, she doesn't have to worry about the rest of the household like a SAHM does

Something to do 🤷‍♀️

They can have as many as they want as long as they pay for them and don't bang on about climate change

If you think the population should stay stable, I suppose it could be argued that some people need to have more than two because others will have less than two.

I certainly wouldn't have enjoyed having more than two. Two (admittedly they were close in age) just about did my head in.

Me either. And even with lots of kids, we are net contributors.

We are also net contributors, private school, private dentist, private GP.

I didn't need a 3rd child, I just had an intense longing for one. Now I'm pregnant by accident with no 4

Why do people need pets, holidays, relationships, new cars ( large SUVs especially ) to have their nails done, to go on holiday by plane. None of these things are a need. People want things, they make choices. Family size is a choice, people's choices in this area will be shaped by multiple variables and factors.
Perhaps what would be best is more acceptance and respect. Less judgement. That might work out best all round.

I think that is far too simplistic. I work in IT and the majority of child free blokes I know have higher electricity bills than me as they spend their time outside of work rotting away playing computer games and eating masses of meat. The ones that aren't like that spend a lot of time travelling abroad. Many families choose not live like that.

I need a large SUV as I have lots of kids and live rurally in a London borough.

I'm happy with just the one, everyone thinks I'm mad that I haven't had another... I wouldn't be able to afford another!

I said up thread, but I had just 1 for 16 years and I didn't realise it was as he was a singleton at the time, but it was pure bliss!

I also have 5 kids and a nhs and academic career. I gave birth to most of them whilst I was studying for it. Not the way I’d recommend doing life, but it worked out fine for me.