C Section is 'not a real birth'

[concretevase]

Please read the post before commenting.

Birth of my daughter was a traumatic emergency C Section, after six days of an induction.

I'm about to have a baby and because of GDM am being pressured into a planned C Section or induction.

I hate hate hate the idea of going through all that again. I hate the idea of recovering from another C Section now with a toddler and a newborn and not much paternity leave for my husband.

To make matters worse I have convinced myself that if I don't push a baby out I am missing out on something about womanhood.

Has anyone experienced the same thoughts? If so how did you rationalise them?

100% nailed it with that post! Every last word. I also believe some of the negative/borderline spiteful comments about not having a vaginal birth, are borne out of jealousy, resentment, and bitterness.

I also agree that a planned C-section is the best way to go. I had an emergency C-section because of complications with the birth (with my first child...) I had an elective one for the second. Would not change a thing. You can all keep your 'natural births!' (And as has been said, much of it is not natural anyway! And also the only things women who have C-sections are missing out on are things they could well do without!)

'C-section is not a real birth' is such a stupid and ludicrous thing to say, that it's not worth even getting wound up about. Because it's farcical to the extreme and 100% untrue!

@user1492729177

I hated myself for not having a ‘natural birth’ especially because my milk never came in either.

If your milk did not 'come in' that's nothing to do with having a C-section. I had 2 C-sections, and had tons of milk. Why on earth would your milk not be there? You just had a baby! And why on earth would you hate yourself for not having a vaginal birth?

Incredible the drivel that some women talk.
You did give birth.
The ideal outcome of a pregnancy is a healthy baby and a healthy mother and if that requires a CS then so be it.

But then I speak as someone who ended up with a baby who died at a day old because a CS wasn’t done in time.

Grow up!

I'm so sorry you lost your lovely baby. 😢

And yeah it is utter drivel that a C-section isn't a real birth. FGS, a human is born/coming into the world. It's a birth. As a pp said, these same people probably think a baby born by IVF isn't a real baby. 🙄

Well technically they are “unnatural” but so are all medical interventions. Would she berate a diabetic for using “unnatural” insulin?!

And calling it easy has never made sense to me. Would people refer to any other major surgery as “easy”?! I highly doubt it.

My first birth was a traumatic, lengthy vaginal birth that some might regard as natural. Induction, forceps, episiotomy, tears, weeks of agony to recover felt completely unnatural to me. Despite this, when pregnant with my second I spent 9 months debating with myself whether to try for a vaginal birth or opt for a planned section. Decided to try the natural route because I somehow felt I needed to and ended up with another induction and eventually emergency section. I wish I had just gone for a planned section. Despite the emergency section, it was actually still less scary and traumatic than the first time and helped me heal old mental wounds.

You and your baby come first, ignore the ridiculous notion placed on us by the minority that we have to experience a baby escaping our vagina to make us a mother. Growing and birthing a small human in any way makes you superwoman anyway. Good luck x

Hope you told them all to fuck off.

Nobody has believed that since Macbeth.

General anaesthetic emergency c section. I didn’t feel like I’d given birth and I didn’t have a repeatable at baby groups birth story. So, I get how you feel, but deep down there are many ways to motherhood and it’s what happens going forward that really matters 💕

An emergency c section and a planned c section are like night and day.

my second baby was a planned c section and it healed all the trauma of the emergency c section.

just enjoy your baby op

Total nonsense. Of course it’s a “real” birth and who cares what anyone else thinks. Much safer for baby and you anyway and with less complications going forwards than a vaginal birth.

Elective c section here btw that ended up in an emergency c section as DS decided to arrive 6 weeks early. 6 rounds of IVF hence elective…..that baby was coming out as fast as he possibly could after all we’d been though to get him here.

Birth sounds fucking horrendous. I've got an adopted child and I'm no less woman.

My understanding is that usually with an EMCS, the mother has already been in labour, and so the uterus is contracting and the baby is in a less ideal position, both of which make it much harder physically and emotionally than an ELCS.

Seems on this post you’re not allowed to say it! You also need to tear down women who have a vaginal birth as being ripped to shreds and trouble with coughing and not wetting themselves.

Id just embrace it as a surgical birth. Call it what you want. This thread shows both sides say awful things regardless how your baby gets here.

I’ve had 2 c-sections. First was an emergency c-section following failed induction due to expected large baby. Second time, baby was big again so was given option of induction at 38w again or planned c-section…I took the c-section as i did not want to go through another induction.

Am I a bit gutted that i didn’t get to have a natural delivery with either? Yes BUT both my boys arrived safely with no issues so I really couldn’t care less about how they got here.

Of course you gave birth. I often say that in a line of 5 year old children you will never know who was a CS or VB, who was bottle or breastfed, who walked at 9 months or 18 months. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter.

And I’m saying this as a mother who has had four vaginal births including two home births and has breastfed all four of my babies for over a year. It doesn’t make me any better than someone who had a CS and bottlefed.

I got pregnant because I wanted children. Not because I wanted to ‘experience natural birth’. Personally think it’s odd that’s what you’re focused on. The only reason I’d have wanted a natural birth is if it would be easier on me getting my baby but so many friends and statistics have told me that’s not always the case. I’ve 3 close friends who lost their babies at birth. I just wanted my baby here safely. First baby c section due to pre eclampsia. Second baby it’s early days but it’ll definitely be a planned section all going well. Already can’t wait to meet them. @concretevase

Also, let’s be honest here, Victoria Beckham like most dancers is absolutely tiny with a pelvis the size of your average house sparrow. (And before any natural birth devotee pipes up about ‘my 4ft 8 friend/great aunt/sister’s friend’s aunt’s cousin had 15 10 pound babies naturally’ I shall call BS, there may be exceptions but it’s common sense). She would have been well aware her body wasn’t built to push out babies naturally.

Do you really care? Maybe speak to someone about your low self esteem and why you put some much stock into what other people say. If someone turned round and said that to me I would laugh in their face (same situation IVF and c-section) and it wouldn’t cross my mind again @concretevase

Emergency sections are also a lot less gentle, the mother is not conscious. It’s a traumatic experience both physically and psychologically.

Me (1981) nor my brother (1984) wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for c’section.

nearly killed my Mum twice as could not go to full term, was on bed rest from month 4 or 5 so pre eclampsia and in 84 was sterilised after second pregnancy. We’re not adopted as there are polaroids in scubo.

The easy way out? It was an emergency, if you hadn’t had one either you or your baby or most likely both of you would have died! Would you mum have preferred that??

remove yourself from these toxic people OP.

I really wanted a natural birth, with no induction or epidural. Unfortunately things did not go to plan for me, and I totally understand how you feel. Be glad you are both healthy and you will forget about this soon enough, as you have more challenges ahead. I'm still bummed out now when I think about it, but not upset like I was. You'll be ok

I struggled with both my emergency sections. I think because I'm a perfectionist who is terrified of failure. I also loathe needing other people so the realisation that without help both dc1 (well and truly wedged mid pelvis after 80 odd hours of labour, 2 plus hours of pushing and failed forceps) and I would have died was hard to come to terms with.

The psychiatrist I ended up in front of said that all the issues we repress from our own childhoods seem to rise up during birth and the early years of parenthood. That was certainly my experience.

Yes this. Also, the mother probably hasn’t slept for a very long time. Every part of the mother is at its weakest point due to exhaustion. That coupled with the consultant urgently removing the baby means the healing process is unlikely to be perfect. You end up severely bruised and battered in some situations.

With my elective, I remember my consultant taking so much time and care over the incision. He positioned it about 2mm below by public line (which he had advised me to have waxed before hand). The incision was perfectly straight and as short as possible. You would have to really try and look to see it now 12 years later.
That doesn’t happen in an emergency. My friend’s is very long, wobbly and therefore healed badly. Because it was done in a split second as her baby’s heart had stopped beating.

Like you I had a failed induction & emcs, shocking traumatic experience.
Planned section for the second, because otherwise they wanted to induce again and no way in hell was that happening.
Not saying it was easy altho recovery was much better, but it was actually a really positive experience.
Date was planned for a week after my due date just in case I went into labour myself, but apparently I make an extremely comfy womb, and no one was leaving by choice!
One thing I found helpful was I asked them to drop the drape so I could see baby born/come out (you can’t actually see that much) but I think it helped me to feel more involved rather than someone suddenly presenting a baby I didn’t feel was anything to do with me.