C Section is 'not a real birth'

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Please read the post before commenting.

Birth of my daughter was a traumatic emergency C Section, after six days of an induction.

I'm about to have a baby and because of GDM am being pressured into a planned C Section or induction.

I hate hate hate the idea of going through all that again. I hate the idea of recovering from another C Section now with a toddler and a newborn and not much paternity leave for my husband.

To make matters worse I have convinced myself that if I don't push a baby out I am missing out on something about womanhood.

Has anyone experienced the same thoughts? If so how did you rationalise them?

My first was via emergency C section after being induced 2 weeks post due date. My second I deliberated for a long time over whether to try for VBAC or just go for C-section again. In the end I couldn't get the niggling feeling out of my head that it would just go the same way again. So elected for C-section second time too. And let me just tell you that the recovery second time was soooo much easier having not already spent 2 days being enduced with little progress, all the drugs and no sleep.
If they are recommending C-section again, just go with it. Its not like everyone has lovely natural births anyway is it?! Who cares what anyone else says. I've come to realise that a lot of people (older especially!) just want you to do things the same way they did, for no other reason than thats the way they did it. Its like they need to the verification or something.

i had a planned after a failed induction/emergency c/s and the two couldn’t have been more different. Yes I would’ve liked a vbac, but it would never had happened anyway cos of how the baby was lying.
It was a much more relaxed procedure, I was rested, dh was more involved and the recovery for me was much quicker. I was bent over like a crone after the emergency but sprung up much quicker after the elective.
Yes you don’t go through the Labour and emotions of giving birth vaginally, it’s more medicalised but it was still a decent experience for me.

I had an emergency section and it saved my and my baby's life. I had actively tried to avoid this in my birth plan but when I look back now, the fact I could have this option meant a tragedy was avoided. As far as I'm concerned you've still given birth to a new human.

I notice there is a midwife poster previously who states she sees sections as 'surgical extractions'. My response to this is, if there had been less constant nudging towards a vaginal birth at all costs from the midwifery team and more upfront info about my options of a section I probably would've avoided what was a traumatic experience.

I'm pregnant again and going straight for elective section, no if's or but's and certainly no guilt.

In all honesty, I get a little bit bloody sick of women being treated as if they've done half a job when they've carried a child for 9 months but not given birth 'naturally'

I had two caesareans; one emergency and one planned. Of all the horrors of natural birth I’ve heard about from friends, chatting at toddler group etc, I’ve never once felt like I’ve missed out on anything! I’m all good to have dodged vaginal tearing of whatever degree thank you very much! Am absolutely fine with my lack of womanhood or whatever!!

I had my children forty years or so ago. I had a planned C section with my first and eighteen months later had my second vaginally. I could have pressed for a C section as I have a narrow pelvic exit but friends encouraged me to have a natural birth.

I really regret it now. I was cut and I tore, and I was badly bruised. Sex was always uncomfortable after this. I have had three prolapse operations and added complications since.

After the planned C section I was up and about early and recovered quickly but after the so called natural birth, I didn't get out of bed for over a week.

Thanks for you sympathy. My milk never ‘came in’ because I never did labour at all and my body is incapable of giving birth. And I felt bad because it was not what I wanted. Nice to see women supporting women.

Thanks for you sympathy. My milk never ‘came in’ because I never did labour at all and my body is incapable of giving birth. And I felt bad because it was not what I wanted. Nice to see women supporting women.

Nope.
My four children were extracted from my uterus in what I have always felt was an unnatural procedure.

No way did I give birth. And I regret that. And that's what this thread is about. Women who feel sadness that they didn't give birth.

My baby was wedged in sideways and couldn’t get out. I had a planned c section and it was so calm it was dreamlike.

It’s honestly the best feeling! When all planned and happy.

The alternative was unthinkable! 😭

Absolutely F all to do with a c section though. The vast majority of women who have a planned c section are still able to breastfeed.

It's about safety for you, and don’t be ridiculous around birth. How the child comes out is immaterial, as long as you and baby are well. Could ask for a trial of labour but labour is overrated. 1 induction, 3rd degree tear 2 c section.

I hope you hide your distaste for c sections and your (silly) opinion that it's not giving birth, from your patients!

I'm very glad you weren't my midwife. With such strong options, I'm not sure it's the right job for you. How can you make women feel empowered and content with however they gave birth, and support them when your don't even consider it a birth?

She’s correct. Giving birth is completely different from birthing a child. It’s not offensive. It may be triggering for some of you but you’re being rude.

You and many others on here are making it an issue. A child was birthed during a surgical procedure or I gave birth to a child. Empower women by being honest and being proud their baby is healthy.

Exactly this. ^ And as for the 'women should be supporting women' comment. I'm not going to automatically support what someone says just because we both happen to have a vagina. And especially not if what I think they're saying is wrong or makes no sense. Having a C-section would not stop a woman producing milk, and breastfeeding.

100% agree with this. I am also glad that poster was not my midwife! I find her views bizarre and scary. To say a C-section is not a birth is farcical to the extreme. You were pregnant and a child was born. It was a BIRTH FFS! 🙄

'Midwife' is incorrect.

I'd be very happy to hold my hands up and apologise if someone would be so kind as to post a reliable source that confirms a section is not a real birth.

Tia!

I think YANBU at all for wanting to experience giving birth and feeling disappointed about another c section. I’d have felt the same (my first child was a planned c section, my second a vbac and I’d have struggled with being told another c section would be best). It’s easy for people to say you’re not missing much… but your feelings are really valid and it will take time to process them. I can remember feeling left out when other new mums were comparing birth stories, and the ‘you’re so lucky you don’t have to go through that!’ comments really stung even though they were well-meant. Had it happened a second time I think I might actually have slapped someone…! I think find out the risks/benefits around your birth options, take your time and be kind to yourself whichever way it goes. For what it’s worth for me the c section was the harder birth experience - for coming to terms with it but also the recovery, and if you need to choose it again it will be a brave and selfless decision. All the best.

5 of us plus the dog in this house. Only one not born by C-section was the dog. No-one is any less of a person or in some way diminished by the experience. As other have said upthread, live birth is the goal here

@Megifer I haven’t seen anyone say a c section is not a “real birth”. What has been said is that it is not the same as a woman “giving birth” and than some women feel regret if they don’t get to experience a vaginal birth.

C sections don’t make anyone less of mother or less of a woman, they are not an easy way out. They can be life saving for both mother and baby. Many women (especially those who have had traumatic vaginal births) opt for them and prefer them. Any sane person is glad they exist. Doesn’t change the fact that a woman undergoing a c section is not physically giving birth, she is having surgery. I understand that it’s an emotive subject but someone should be able to speak factually without causing such upset. Especially when they are speaking about their own experience.

I haven’t seen @TheShellBeach express disdain for c sections (as she has been accused of), only regret about her own experience. Midwife or not, she is allowed her own feelings about the way her children were birthed. I’m sure she realises that not everyone shares them and treats her patients as individuals.

I haven’t seen @TheShellBeach express disdain for c sections (as she has been accused of), only regret about her own experience. Midwife or not, she is allowed her own feelings about the way her children were birthed. I’m sure she realises that not everyone shares them and treats her patients as individuals.

Thank you.

I don't mind how other women choose to deliver. Of course I don't let patients feel they've failed if they have a CS.

I am simply talking about my own personal feelings as a woman, regarding my children's deliveries.

I was so disappointed not to experience birth. I mean, really, really sad about it.

I was very, very good at breastfeeding, though. That gives me a lot of satisfaction.

And before anyone accuses me of disdaining women who bottle feed - I don't.

Women are entitled to choose. I will stick up for any woman's right to choose these things. Always.

"I haven’t seen anyone say a c section is not a “real birth”. What has been said is that it is not the same as a woman “giving birth” and than some women feel regret if they don’t get to experience a vaginal birth."

So can anyone link to anything confirming it's not the same as giving birth?

It’s langauge which takes a quick Google. The act of giving birth is to push the child through the birth canal. Birth is bringing a child forward into the world.

My quick Google didnt appear to bring the first part of your sentence up in any result. Please can you link where you found that? Thanks!