C Section is 'not a real birth'

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Please read the post before commenting.

Birth of my daughter was a traumatic emergency C Section, after six days of an induction.

I'm about to have a baby and because of GDM am being pressured into a planned C Section or induction.

I hate hate hate the idea of going through all that again. I hate the idea of recovering from another C Section now with a toddler and a newborn and not much paternity leave for my husband.

To make matters worse I have convinced myself that if I don't push a baby out I am missing out on something about womanhood.

Has anyone experienced the same thoughts? If so how did you rationalise them?

wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy, birth and baby 💐

Delivered one still born child vaginally
Had subsequent c sections to live babies
I can tell you how babies are delivered makes no odds

I didn't.
My children were surgically extracted from me.

You ask how do you rationalise your thoughts. I think one way is to reframe the situation and think how lucky you are to live in a time and place where c sections are an option and where we have the luxury of worrying about having a 'real birth'. Millions upon millions of women whose only option in any circumstances was to 'push the baby out' would think you are so fortunate to be able to have a c section.

My view as well. I’ve done it both ways. I had almost as much trouble healing from a second degree tear as I did the c section. I know what you’re feeling - I was devastated when the obstetrician said that a c section was best, but it was straight forward and I stopped thinking about it very quickly.

I would respond very badly if anyone suggested that I didn’t give birth properly/ fortunately nobody did.

2 X vaginal deliveries and one owner of a bladder prolapse and a hemmerhoidectomy I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
No way is easy, no way is less of a woman.

...can't wait to do it all again next year 🫠

Is this like saying an IVF baby isn't a " real" baby? 🤷‍♀️

Hello, I had your experience almost exactly. I had an EMCS due to a failed induction for DC1 which always made me feel like I had failed and had not given birth 'properly'. I then had to decide on whether to have an ELCS for DC2 (also due to GDM so it was a week or so before the due date - the other option would be another induction). I went for the CS and afterwards I found that it had helped me make my peace with the first experience. I am not sure why but suddenly I could see clearly what I knew logically - the baby arrived into the world safely; I gave birth to it; that's all that matters. I really hope you find the same applies for you. Best of luck.

I hope not, I had my IVF baby by c-section! 🤭

I think the guidance changed around 2021 (although happy to stand corrected!), so if PP had her DC 10 years ago, then maternal choice quite probably wouldn’t have cut it in terms of reasons for an ELCS. Thankfully it does now, and I’m considering requesting one when I give birth (🙂) later in the year.

It’s absolutely giving birth, and I disagree that it’s ‘surgical extraction’ as a PP said (although any woman is within her right to use whatever terminology she likes to talk about her own births - but most of us here agree that ELCS and EMCS are absolutely ‘giving birth’). It’s not as though anyone goes around asking grown adults or even younger children (i.e. born more recently) how they came out of their mothers’ bodies, in any case. It just doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you and your baby are as healthy and happy as possible.

Yep my first baby was an IVF baby by C-section. I have been told by family members, including my mum, that both things are 'unnatural'.

I have also been told I was 'too posh to push, eh?' and 'you had a c section? you took the easy way out!'

Thank you. You put it into context.

I hated myself for not having a ‘natural birth’ especially because my milk never came in either. However I am now 51 and I thank heavens I didn’t push out my 10 lb baby because I would be in a world of prolapse lol

Having had an emergency c section and a planned one a planned Q section recovery is much much quicker. (And my planned was with twins)

After 5 days labour and an emergency c-section I have never felt once that I didn’t give birth. In fact would be dead without it after losing 4 litres of blood and going into hypovolemic shock. My son would also be dead, severe sepsis and oxygen deprivation. It caused dreadful PPD and PPA for almost a year, due to the separation from my son and constant flashbacks and nightmares. Thankfully women have the choice these days and I wish I had chosen and ELCS instead of what I went through. Feel free to remind people without modern medicine that many of us would have died in childbirth or lost babies. Heaven forbid you should do anything ‘unnatural’ that you could help save your life.

I agree. I had SEVERE mental health issues after the birth of my youngest and a post like OP's would most likely trigger an "episode"

I had a planned c section and it was fine. Can anyone tell me why emergency is harder recovery? Interested to know. Is it due to the haste and urgency and the fact you may have been in labour?

They can fuck right off. I would consider talking to your midwife and seeing if there's any support that can be offered to your mental health

That and they have to move quick so emotionally you haven't prepared for it. It's not calm. It's calm but urgent so adrenaline is at play. And you're usually conscious while they are rushing around you

@ebadame that makes sense. I hate GA too so would be terrified of that also!

I felt exactly the same about womanhood / missing out on a rite of women centred experiences...until so many people told me how painful natural birth is I ended feeling relieved I hadn't gone through it!

Both my kids were born by section and yes I do feel that I missed out on an experience by not having a vaginal delivery.

Its not a case that I don’t think it’s a “real” birth and ultimately I’m just glad they both arrived safely, but I was disappointed that I will never experience that type of birth.

My first was an emergency c section and my second was delivered vaginally after only 4 hours of active labour the day before I was due to see my consultant to agree a date for a planned section. I had wanted to deliver vaginally for the same reasons as you but honestly, it wasn't a particularly fulfilling or 'magical' experience and the recovery was just as uncomfortable and difficult due to a huge tear. I guess I'm saying just do what feels right for you and try not to put too much importance on the delivery. Good luck whatever you decide.

I had an emergency c-section and I was glad about it. Rather my mid-section be cut to bits than my vagina. I never think 'I didn't really give birth', though nearly knocked the head off the father of my child who said this to me. I wanted a healthy baby, I got a healthy baby. That is a miracle. The rest isn't relevant IMO.

I’ve had 3 c-sections, all of them not too bad a recovery. I’d never want to change the experiences I had and don’t think there’s any reason to feel a lack of connection to the child or a feeling of failure. A c-section IS giving birth! It’s just a different method which, if it helps in producing a healthy baby, is no ‘less’ than giving birth ‘naturally’. We get no medals for pushing a baby out of our vaginas!!