To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

I voted YANBU and I agree it shouldn't be taboo but I feel a bit hypocritical as I didn't talk like this to my DS, but I feel now I should have. Boys don't need to know the details of it but it's no harm to know you can't go swimming because of it. And so bloody what if some women can swim, you are not them, plus boys don't know that they are swimming wearing a tampon because they have no cause to know it and it's none of their business. I could swim from about day 3 and possibly day 1 or 2 for a very brief period if I have access to a changing room immediately beforehand. But I don't want to usually, I feel crappy and bloated and sometimes my large boobs ache when the swim suit puts pressure on them. No harm men understand their natural privilege from a young age.

If you are not a gynaecologist, you are confusing your ridiculous opinions with facts.

If you are a gynaecologist, I strongly recommend you go back in training ASAP and stop talking crap.

It's not doing women any favour to pretend they can just ignore their periods and live normally. SOME women can - I was one of them for many years, it was bliss. But no need to dismiss those who cannot.

...he was asking to go swimming though and that was her reason she couldn't so it was the honest response to the question

I'm just stunned to discover women go in public pools during their period.

OP you have my sympathy - I'm a keen swimmer but there was a point from my mid 20s to last year (aged 47) that I had to practically give up swimming because my periods were so bad that they'd last for months, I'd be flooding and having to go into hospital for blood transfusions and iron infusions - it can be really debilitating.
Thankfully, since I've been prescribed Desogestrel (as it was at the point that doctors were trying to tell me to seriously consider hysterectomy) my periods have stopped.
It's great that you can talk to your son and be honest - hope you feel better soon x

I have explained to my primary school age boys what periods are. DD and I don't swim on our periods. We call it shark week for a reason, being heavy bleeders. I certainly don't think you did anything wrong OP.

Actually, some women can't. I can't. It's so heavy that there's always the chance of leakage. So, for hygiene reasons, I can't swim on those days. And that's what I would say.

I'd just assume they have light, pain free periods. Lucky.

Normalize periods by talking about them

my heavy days are not swimming compatible. I need more than a tampon or cup

a headache
is not unique to women
he is like to have experienced and got over a headache

I’ve said YABU because unless you’re flooding or bedbound with pain, swimming isn’t an issue when you’re on your period

It doesn't matter, it affects half the population. Two very normal things, headache and period. Not unique because he wont have one. Your comprehension skills don't seem on par with her 8 year olds, understanding his mother can't swim right now though going by your other posts, so I'll leave it there and not annoy myself even more 😂 I also enjoyed your haiku

Why does that stun you?

If only that was the question she asked..........🙄

i wouldn’t even dignify with asking

oh man alive 😆

It's really quite common for women to not want to swim during their period, especially as we get older and get gynaecological problems. I have a condition that means I can't use tampons or cups (well... I guess I could, but it's very painful and I have no desire to keep trying) and while I do have period swimwear, I don't find it very convenient and it doesn't do a very good job on the heaviest days.

My son does know about periods, it would be difficult to avoid as he always came to the loo with me as a toddler/pre-schooler. He knows mummy gets periods once a month, I bleed for a few days but it's not real blood like I've hurt myself, and it sometimes makes me very tired and have a tummy ache so he needs to be gentle. We need to prepare our sons to have partners and friends who have periods when they are older, it's a normal part of life.

how come name changes just to post on this thread @Bulbo ?!

Same here. On day 2, I use a super tampon and a pad. Within an hour I have to change or I will leak. It's beyond ridiculous, I get so ill with it too.

How come the cyber stalking? Weird, creepy and also wrong....crack on though with your 'logic' failing, I understand if you feel the need to grasp at creepy straws 👌

This. ^ Take note of this post @ButtSurgery You're embarrassing yourself!

Because clearly they've forgotten about purdah.

Precisely!

and some of us have terrible period cramps that are made somewhat bearable due to pain medication.

the relatively cool water of most swimming pools most certainly doesn’t help.

OP has been living with her period for quite some time. Let’s not assume that she’s “limiting herself” or that there’s an easy solution she just hasn’t thought of yet.

what can i say? you piqued my interest 😆

more so now i see that you name changed before joining this thread!

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · Today 16:29
No harm men understand their natural privilege from a young age.

I am so glad to see this being said wrt periods.
I'm not articulate enough to argue about the trouble with trying to equate equality with parity. But women should feel free to say they are unable to do x y z because they are experiencing something related only to the female sex (Pregnancy/periods/breast feeding ect.) without feeling or being made to feel that it's some sort of admission of weakness or being lesser in some way.

Men and women are different. Nothing to do with better or worse - but different. It's seems these days it's not the done thing to speak the truth.