To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

I know!! Wonder if she’s been removed from MN?

So, speaking of women recognising that we're all different, it's being insinuated on another thread that I'm in the wrong bra size 🤦

I am guessing this MIL has judged you negatively on a lot of your parenting decisions over the year.

i wouldn’t be having her over from coffee and i wouldn’t see her as “lovely”

In fairness, she never has commented on parenting decisions. I’m not really of the no contact brigade: as let’s be honest, not one of us is perfect.

your OP is about her being “horrified” at how you chose to parent your son

huh? no contact? did anyone suggest that?

all i’m saying is… a MIL being “horrified” at what i chose to say to my young son is not a MIL i think sound particularly “lovely” 🤷

All the women on this thread saying they cant swim on their period- have you tried it?

I can take a bath at home in my super deep soaking tub with the heaviest tampon freshly placed and end up with bloody water. Pretty sure a public swimming pool on a heavy day is contraindicated.

heavy periods mean HEAVY

heavy periods mean HEAVY

This exactly. I think some people really aren’t getting it for some reason 😬 it’s weird because before my periods were super heavy I still understood that some friends had heavier, more painful periods which meant they had to do or avoid certain things which I didn’t.

I’m often dripping blood and clots on my period when I’m getting in or out of a bath or shower. It’s definitely not something I’m willing to try out as I know what the outcome will be. It will be gross for others and myself.

Aside from swimming, I wouldn’t even want to use a communal shower/ changing room when I’m on my period if I could help it . Thankfully by the time my periods became heavy and painful I’d stopped team sports.

No i have plenty of evidence and experience with my period that's not in a public swimming pool to know that i would not be comfortable having my period and swimming in a public swimming pool. Are you just being dense?

I was at a lovely thermal spa resort on my 50th birthday. Without any prior signs or warnings, I felt a sharp cramp in my uterus followed closely by what felt like a gush. Looked down and saw a puff of blood leaving my swimmers. Luckily for me (and everyone else) it was just DP and me in that pool, I had black swimmers on and he protected me with a towel while I got out and crept away with watery blood running down my legs.

TMI? Yes, in the hope that you and others like you fuck off and stop telling other women how to period. This thread had mercifully reached its natural end days ago yet here you are talking shit to get it going again.

Why would I? Half the time I'm not safe to drive as I'm on so many painkillers let alone get in a body of water

Some of the periods here sound awful, sorry for anyone going through this. Is there a point where doctors will recommend a hysterectomy? (leaving ovaries behind, ideally).

The joys of Mumsnet.

"You're wrong about your period. You can swim, so stop making lame excuses. Put a Tampax up it and swim, bitch!"

"I'm offended by the way you talked about your period. You should have added a disclaimer saying NAPALT (not all periods are like that) because you are spreading terrible misconceptions. Shame on you!"

Ah, the whacky gals of Mumsnet. Is it a full moon or something?

Oh gosh…I doubt it. That would be generally considered bad practice in the vast majority of cases. A hysterectomy is a major operation that carries risks.

Clearly from this thread we can see it is not rare to have very painful heavy periods, even if everyone doesn’t have them. So there’s no real reason for a doctor to suggest it in most cases - it’s within the realm of “normal”

So many people - me anyway - would not opt for an invasive surgery that can take months to recover from.

Additionally some people still want to have kids /more kids. But of course there are some exceptional cases for example heavy periods caused by fibroids where that may be recommended/offered It wouldn’t be suggested to the vast majority of the many many women with bad periods though.

What would better help rather than a hysterectomy is for people both men and women - who don’t suffer to the same extreme - to show more compassion and empathy. And just understand that some people can’t do certain things for a few days out the month.

Handling my periods because SO much easier when I was allowed to WFH for example although I realise not everyone can do that, but the point is it wasn’t about a medical procedure or medicine, it was about an adjustment. The pain is there but being able to lie down when I want helps immensely. My partner is also very understanding too which helps.

Yeah and it’s really absurd because even some people with light to moderate flow don’t like swimming on their period. And that’s ok too.

No one actually needs to provide evidence to justify why they don’t get in a pool at certain times of the month 🤦🏽‍♀️ let women have choices!

Yes, when you can afford to have it done privately.

I’ve been with AXA (private) for a while and my doctors certainly didn’t recommend a hysterectomy 😳.

Again there’s always exceptions and nuances and different situations but it’s not a common recommendation at all.

Oh ffs I wasn't saying that everyone who goes private gets a hysterectomy. I was saying if you DO really need one**, that's probably the only way to get it, in a reasonable timeframe.

**for incurably dysfunctional periods

Yes. Next question?

It's perfectly reasonable to tell your son this. You are training him to become a considerate DH when he's older. ⭐

Well I suppose in the Stone Age when your MIL was young it wasn’t the done thing to talk about bodily functions.

You sound like a man.

Sounds like he'll barge into any loo that's being used. Why would you not teach your child that privacy Is key.

For me yes, but I'm mid diagnosis/options for endo
They're going to try and excise it but there will be a consult beforehand about what I am happy to lose if they can't avoid it