To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

This happened this morning and you managed to tell your mil about it and get it to mumsnet all before 3pm today. 🤣

You know that water holds your period in, right? Don't believe, take a long bath on your first day.
I go swimming all the time with periods and have done for yonks. Never do anything, never leak, and I used to be very heavy for the first few days. It's just important when you get out to be quickish!
As I said, if you don't trust me, trying having a bath, but somehow the water just keeps it in at least for an hour or more.

I’m assuming some cultures don’t approve of swimming in public pools whilst on your period. That attitude of periods being dirty I find very disturbing.

Maybe stop being such a stalker, its such a weirdo thing to do and brush up on the reading and comprehension skills. It'll serve you better. It's an anonymous forum, people name change all the time. One reason being weirdos like you searching their posts

If my Mum had said the same when I was 8 I would have looked at her confused and wonder what on earth she meant.

When I did find out about periods I was utterly terrified of them as I hadn’t had any experience of anyone having one and thought that I would be the odd one out. It was very stressful for several years. Each time I got a tummy ache I thought “oh no, is this it???” and was very anxious. I didn’t feel like I could talk to my mum about it despite her being the one to first tell me they existed (one day when I was 10 and had a tummy ache) because I thought it was something to be kept secret because no one I knew talked about them.

So well done for bringing your little boy up to see them as a normal part of every day life.

My MiL was there having a coffee.

of course I posted it as soon as possible as I was wondering if I was wrong.

But more people seem to be more bothered that a) I didn’t just use a tampon and go swimming b) I didn’t make clear to my son that other women can go swimming(which was of no relevance to him whatsoever)

I hope you told your MIL you will talk to your son about whatever you see fit and her input is not required.

It keeps in when I’m in the bath, but not once I get out!

Maybe this works for you, but I can assure you it's not the case for all women.

I, as many women have, have been having periods for many years. Over those years I have had baths and experienced my period leaking into the water. I've tried numerous types of collection devices to allow me to swim on holidays when periods have arrived, take DD to her swimming lessons etc and found none that prevent leaks. For me, personally.

We are all different, and you cannot claim that your experience is what is true for all women.

People asking why on earth you can't swim just because of your period are being incredibly naive.

I know loads of women who regularly flood/bleed very heavily/go through a tampon in an hour etc. Even if you don't personally know women who have that experience, though, how hard is it to apply a bit of imagination?

As for reinforcing stereotypes, I don't think the OP has done irredeemable damage; her DS might ask more at a later stage e.g. 'Why can't you swim on your period?' and that would be an opportunity to make clear that it's not all women, just some women, who don't want to or for whom it's difficult.

Well lucky you.

I don't understand some of the response in this thread. The OP provided her son with a perfectly reason explanation why she cannot go swimming. This was a factual answer. I appreciate, that many of you do not suffer from bad periods but many women do.

How long does it take you to post on MN?!

OP posted just before 3 pm.

3+ hours is enough to knock out a post of 50 ish words isn't it? Even if you were using your nose to type!

It’s a myth about being in the water and your blood being held in

My son is well aware of mine as I've been hospitalised many times and am awaiting a hysterectomy. I've always been honest and open with him about everything. I prefer he gets proper knowledge than learn incorrect info from the playground. He doesn't think twice about grabbing me a pack of pads in the shop if needed. No difference to buying toilet paper.

And then you get out of the bath and stand up ...

I think the comment in the thread are very dismissive to women and girls who have gyane issues such heavy period, endometriosis, migraine fibroids.

It's perfectly reasonable to explain to your son why you can't take him swimming. A woman having a period isn't a secret or something shameful. Your MIL is being daft.

I'm sorry you suffer so much with them, OP - it seems particularly unfair to you, as I always found being in a pool helps relieve cramps.

Not unreasonable to talk about periods. Unreasonable to not go swimming if you wanted to.

This, definitely.

You're not unreasonable at all, OP.

I have always been open and honest in an age appropriate way with DS16 about this. It means that when his girlfriend says to him "I'm on my period and feel like rubbish" he turns up with chocolate to be thoughtful. It might not help but it's better than him being repulsed because we must not talk about these things 🙄

"A male relative" - he's your son!

relax

you didn’t need to name change for this thread unless… well, what was in your posting history that would have clashed with your view on this!

I will bow out!

Yes to this.

Why would a period prevent you from swimming (barring crippling pain)?

Have you read her updates? She doesn't want to because of the nature of her periods.