To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

Not taboo, but private all the same

Also some girls get their periods at 8-9 years old. But is it because this is a little boy people think it’s too much?

Not everyone can use tampons or cups, I can't, since giving birth. I told my son this because it was true for me, and he felt better knowing I wasn't just fobbing him off.

I've always been very open with my boys about this sort of thing. DH is far more grossed out about it than they are, they are so sweet and sympathetic when I am suffering. You did absolutely the right thing. It's natural.

I can't see what is wrong in telling him

ds knew i had periods around this age as at times I was in a lot of pain, I went a little further explaining that woman have periods but he lost interest just he knew I had periods

when he is more interested and able to understand you can explain what a period is

At some point your DS should become aware that periods are not the same for all women and girls.

Not yet, but I agree with your honesty.

I'm assuming everyone has at least begun to talk to their daughters about periods by 8 years old?

2 of the 9 year olds in DDs school have begun their periods already.

Why do boys need shielding from it?

YABU but only because there's very few women who can't swim whilst on their period. Use a tampon, use a mooncup etc and just go.

Don't limit yourself or teach your son that women can't do things on their period if it's a normal period. May be different with endo etc, but frankly an 8yo doesn't need to know all of the possibilities!

Why do you even know about girls getting their periods? Do they know they know? Do you tell everyone?

I voted YABU because initially I thought, who doesn’t use period swimmers these days (I haven’t had periods for decades but I know DD and all her friends use them), but then I read your update where it wasn’t due to periods per se - which could be managed easily in a swimming sense by either tampons or period swimmers, but due to migraine. But I still think it’s n reasonable as now there is a boy who thinks, as a blanket, women can’t swim due to periods as opposed to sometimes people can’t swim if they have a migraine.

Why not? Surely it's the perfect time to tell them because then they grow up knowing.

As someone who has heavy periods prone to flooding I can't swim during the first 3 days of my period. At some stage she will be able to explain that people can swim but may not feel well enough to or physically able to

The sooner boys know all about periods the better. My ds’s female friends talk in great detail about their periods to him and a jolly good thing it is. Luckily things are changing and young women do not feel ashamed about their bodies. Thank fuck.

But I wouldn't have positioned it like swimming isn't something you can do on your period, because plenty of people do

This. Id be honest about periods in an age appropriate way but i wouldn't want to position women/girls as held back by their biology in this regard

Yes i run round the village telling everyone 🙄

Because one is my DDs friend and has told her and DD has told me, and the other is the daughter of my friend.

Periods are a perfectly normal bodily function like wee or poo. Why shouldn’t an 8 year boy know about them? Apart from the obvious of course - sexism. 🙄

yabu, of course you still can go swimming... so many options to use when you are on.

Not everyone can use a tampon or mooncup: and honestly, I wasn’t using it as a “teaching” moment. It was just a quick answer to why I wasn’t taking him swimming.

DS doesn’t seem to be grossed out in the slightest or even remotely bothered one way or another by periods

My periods definitely mean I can't swim, tampons, mooncups and appropriate swimwear included. And no, I don't have endo, just heavy periods.

Just because it's not your experience doesn't mean swimming is an option for others during periods.

Why the ewwww? Genuinely interested as to why you thought this and even more why your would type this?

Eh? Why is it gross to mention having a period?

My DCs have seen me change my san-pro when younger - sometimes by walking in on me and sometimes when out and about and they’ve come into the toilet with me.

OP, I too can’t swim when I have a period as I’m too achy and my children would have accepted that reason.

YANBU about any of it.

I used to be happy to go swimming while on my period. But these days it's 2 very heavy days - bleed through anything type of days, and if I'm doing an activity eg. swimming or walking it's even worse.

On the lighter days, sure, we can go swimming, but on the bad days, no, not a good idea - I'd be bleeding all over the changing rooms, if not also in the pool.

You are totally right to talk about it with him- I have done the same with my son since he was small. Teaching kids it's shameful by not talking about it isn't helping anyone. I also can't swim during periods (it's like a blood bath each month) so you have my sympathies. Your MIL needs to get with the times.

So try period swimwear?

People have already pointed out that some women can’t. I can’t. It would be like a Jaws movie.

And yes, even. with. a. tampon. 🙄