To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

I think you are NBU. He's 8 and would have already start being introduced to biology in school. The fact that he understood and was happy enough is all thats important. Your mil sounds like she's stuck in a cave, and with that mentality I wouldn't even bother.

I think the best thing you can do is tell your sons about periods before they go all shy with you about these kind of things. My DS found a tampon in my bag at about 8 or 9 and asked what it was. I gave him a very simplified explanation then let him unwrap it and put it in a glass of water.

I hope as a result of those kind of exchanges he will be unfazed about periods when dating etc.

@Confusednewmum1

i hope you put the idiot straight & didn't change your approach to DD & periods!

The women shaming women here is shocking. Some women bleed very heavily and period swimwear, tampons or cups would not be enough for them to swim hygienically or without making themselves or other swimmers uncomfortable, can you honestly imagine leaking or losing a clot in a pool, just because it doesn't happen like that for you doesn't mean other women don't have those issues and you can come at them with toxic positivity making out they are being dramatic and it's all fine. be empathetic and appreciate experiences that differ from your own. Also communal changing rooms, sodden bled through period swimwear, tampons etc with a child in tow, stop invalidating peoples feelings that this could be challenging and possibly embarrassing. I am very light and manage great with tampons, however yesterday I wore period swimwear to the beach and ended up with a bloody water situation all over my beach towel, which I managed to wrap around me and go quickly, it's a total joke the women on here trying to make the out swimming and periods are totally stress free. How narrow minded

Boys need to learn periods are a normal part of life for girls/ women. You did the right thing. No one wants a man who gets weird when his wife asks him to pick up pads...

I'm shocked at women telling another Woman how to "handle her periods " as in "I know more about your body than you Do "

OP didn't ask for any advice on her period and swimming.

I think the problem here is you are assuming the child is as narrow minded as you are.

I was the same when I was younger. There's no way that a tampon would have lasted long enough to let me have a swim.

Whilst your mil is ridiculous, so it not going swimming, tampon or moon cup plus period swimwear if you are worried

I was happy to explain menstruation etc. in age appropriate way to Ds1 when he was about 6 and we were on holiday with my sister who had an unexpected period when swimming in the sea (going through menopause and thought her periods had stopped).

Maybe a bloke posting? Can't imagine a woman saying that.

how did this come about that your MIL knows?

I bet your first thought was… i’ll start a mumsnet thread about this! 😆

Yes some people can swim, not everyone can
I cannot swim on my period, it's not an option

@mitogoshi

why do you keep commenting on threads without actually reading them first?

(if you say you are reading them, then you need to work on your comprehension)

Yanbu. I can't swim on my period and explain that to my kids. My 11yo son is fine with it and seemingly more mature than some on here. He's never once said "ewwww" 🙄
Some women and girls can swim on their period and that's great. My daughter is aware of that for when the time comes and can make her own choice. Your MIL needs to get a grip.

What about those who are expecting their period, but can't be 100% sure when it will arrive? Not everyone can use a mooncup and you're not supposed to use tampons in anticipation.

It’s really not. How fucking rude.

im 43. I’ve had periods for 33 years. And I know that I personally cannot go swimming when on a period.

It is not ''ridiculous' for a woman to not want to swim during their period.

It IS ridiculous to not be able to imagine the reasons why.

This! It's quite unsettling.

the only thing i’d have done differently is say that i can’t go because i have heavy periods that mean swimming is out

otherwise he’s going to think

period = invalid

oh and not told my MIL 🤨

Not helpful at all, but one advantage of being very close to menopause is that my periods have become incredibly light and I am one of those women who doesn't need to worry about leakage (anymore). I really wish they'd been like this for the whole 40 years. Only getting them every 3 months now as well!

I did use to go swimming with a tampon. Occasionally there would be a bit of leakage into my swimsuit but nobody else sees that.

Otherwise hated tampons and found them very uncomfortable.

MIL was over for coffee.

but yes. It absolutely was 😝

@Gwenhwyfar oh god that made me wince! I had enough problems using them when my period was in full flow, no way could I have used them 'just in case'

but you’ve given him the impression that any woman on her period can’t go swimming