To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

I don't think you did anything wrong OP, I have boys and as they get older it's not something I plan to hide from them.

I'm shocked so many people on this thread don't understand that some of us have such heavy periods that we can't go swimming. I can be using a tampon and pad and still flood them in less than an hour. You don't want me in the swimming pool with you when I have my period.

Why is it so odd? I didn’t say that every woman / girl cannot swim on their period. I literally gave him the reason why I couldn’t swim today. It wasn’t a massive deal (or I didn’t think so when we spoke)

@Goslingsforlife

theres no 'of course' about it. Try to think outside of your limited experience & simply accept that, no, not every can. FGS

when I was young, I could easily. Tampon & off I went. As I got to my 40's it required more than that & id be fairly confident it would be ok so I'd ho sea swimming but not in a public pool.

As I hit menopause nothing was 'enough' to provide adequate containment. Apart from the embarrassment for me, I wouldn't subject others to it.

I don't see why not.

Totally fine. My 5 and 3 year old know all about periods, they go and get me a tampon from the drawer if I’m caught short 😄. I hope they’ll be understanding and at ease with any female partners in the future because if it.

He’s going to understand it as being applicable to all women though. That’s how the mind of a child that age works.

I think it's really unhygienic for women to go swimming on their period in a swimming pool.

Especially with period swimwear, you're lugging a miniature nappy of blood and clots through the pool water. No thanks.

Jesus wept at some of these replies, it’s a normal bodily function that happens to roughly 50% of the population at some time in their lives, not some big shameful secret

Also not everyone can use tampons/cups, and it’s also fine to just not want to go swimming on your period.

Maybe I feel differently because I actually started my periods when I was 9 so for me at that age periods were relevant, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this.

My mum was always open about her periods in an age appropriate way so I wasn’t shocked or scared when mine turned up and I think it’s good for little boys to have this info as well as little girls because hopefully then there won’t be so many teenage boys who make nasty comments about girls having their periods in school because they are taught from a young age they are literally just a normal part of life! X

@sprigatito well said. Makes me rage.

My mum told my brother (male) and I (female) about her period from as young as toddlers. It was never hidden from us and it never bothered my brother. It made it much easier when I got my own period because I knew everything about it and was able to handle it on my own.

Same.

Particularly when you have heavy periods you spend a lot of time farting about on the loo and in the bathroom with towels/tampons/knicker changes ect..

If you've got little ones roaming the house (i don't lock them out of the bathroom) it's inevitable they're going to get a glimpse of blood or at least you wrangling all the period related stuff and ask.

I've got 4 daughters (3 are adults now) - i just say ''It's mummy's period. Nothing to worry about. Bit of a pain but i'm ok''. Until they're 5 or 6 they just wander off and after that you can answer questions as they come.

As i say - many girls are starting their periods at 9 nowadays.

YANBU, I'm also open about mine with my son. Why wouldn't anyone be, it's just a natural part of life. I'd rather he knew what a period was and how they work from a young age, rather than think they're disgusting and taboo when he's a teenager.

My DS is 4. Fair enough he's got additional needs so doesn't understand but if he didn't he'd know about periods (obviously not the details). He lives with two teenage girls, both of whom suffer dreadfully so if he was able to understand he would.
Why would you need to hide it? Periods are a normal part of life for 50% of the population and the other 50% need to know it's nothing to be ashamed of.

You could say that about anything his mother says. Not all women want to go full pelt rock climbing, swimming, roller skating with dalmatians and balloons on our periods just to prove that we can! Some of us do want to just rest up and chill out while we are on our period.

@ButtSurgery

why are you so invested in another woman's decision not to swim on her period?

I no longer have periods (the ONLY upside to menopause) but I wouldn't have wanted to wear period swim wear in my last few years of periods. I'm not going to elaborate on why, but let's just say period swimwear would not have coped with the flow or clots & that's not right to inflict on other people.

What does it matter to op's ds if other women can go swimming when they are on their period. He goes with his mum and she can't when she is on her period

He will learn this as time goes on that other woman can go swimming right now it does not matter, I doubt he shall be having conversations with other woman about going swimming and periods

@TheRakesTale

Read the thread

YANBU OP, and I’m another one who can’t swim until my period is completely over.

Even if I didn’t leak in the pool, which I probably would, I’d be worried about accidentally dropping some blood in the changing rooms etc.

Everyone is different but for me it’s just a lot more hygienic / less messier for me not to swim on my period. I also feel very tired and have cramps & nausea too so aside from the blood leaking issue, it’s best for me to stick to simple walking during my period.

I also think it's nothing to be ashamed of to be open that some women have some imitations on what a woman can and can't do at some times in their lives.

Why do we have to be super women 24/7 ?

Yeah it's great if you personally are never held back by your period - but we're not all living in a Body Form advert ... My periods, and one of my daughter's periods, are a fucking nightmare for us. I'm not adding to the burden by feeling i have to pretend to the world that they're not.

There is nothing wrong with boys knowing that some women's periods can be difficult to manage, and can adversely affect us in lots of ways. No one ever had to sit in exams with excruciating cramp for instance? .Why do we have to pretend that periods are always a breeze? Do we have to pretend pregnancy and child birth is always a breeze too? Hardly worth maternity leave/ pay? It's just natural - get on with it?

I think it’s good to normalise talking about periods, but as others said, worth mentioning that some women/girls can swim during their period

Nothing at all wrong with being open and honest with your son re the fact of having a period, it was factual information, like “I have a cold” or similar.

Best that he learns from early on that periods are nothing to be embarrassed or disgusted by.

However, you can go swimming on your period, so I’d maybe say “which for me means I can’t go swimming” so he knows it’s not for everyone.

@Mongrelsrbeautiful yes, this is what i was trying to say.

well, technically I could. But there would be blood everywhere. It could be very unpleasant and I’d be asked to leave the pool