To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

Why can't you go swimming while you have your period?

Try being able to understand not everyone is the same?

Why is it so odd? I didn’t say that every woman / girl cannot swim on their period. I literally gave him the reason why I couldn’t swim today. It wasn’t a massive deal (or I didn’t think so when we spoke)

im not a hairy handed troll btw. Been here for about 9 years. (Penis beaker, cancel the cheque etc etc)

The first day and a half of my period, I’m going through super-absorbency tampons at the rate of one every three hours. Don’t want to tempt fate and add a pool to that situation.

Why can't you go swimming while you have your period?

Because I can bleed through a heavy absorbency incontinence pad in a couple of hours - mooncups and tampons don't stand a chance.

Which can be easily rectified if it becomes a burning issue for him or if he even thinks of it at all by saying ''but some women can, just not me''.

Sorry folks, i had not twft when I asked my question!

I agree. A period is a normal bodily function and nothing about which to be boy. This is 2024, not the 1950s.

I can't swim on my periods either OP and no I don't think you were wrong for informing your 8 year old about it either. I think it's a great teaching moment and if boys are bought up being informed about things such as periods, it will make them much better men to their wives / sisters / friends

Exactly the same here. I never felt comfortable swimming when I was on my period anyway though

for a few reasons:

I bleed too much. It’s like the fucking red wedding (already had to change the bedding as I leaked through despite wearing period pants and doubling up on towels)

I have dreadful cramps and I’m likely to have a migraine at some point today (happens every month)

So many people out there accusing the OP of misleading her son by overgeneralising (saying she can't go because she's on her period) but then people doing the exact same by saying "Of course you can swim on your period!"
No, not all of us can! And that's fine too. And since OP can't, it's the only thing relevant when explaining to her son.

I'm really amazed how many women seemingly can't imaging why some women have heavier periods/different period related issues to themselves ...

It's the same as any other bodily function thing. We're all different and our experiences will differ.

Why do some people insist on knowing our bodies better than we do?
My periods are very heavy, yes even with a tampon. I can't swim when on my period not everyone can.

How? Genuinely curious as I’ve never gone swimming on my period, it would leak and stain my swimsuit. I can’t wear tampons if that’s what you mean

My kids have known about periods since they were probably around three. Had to use the bathroom, didn’t want to leave them unsupervised, kids were curious why I had to get a tampon out of the cupboard and what it was for.

Mine are girls, but I can’t imagine the same situation wouldn’t have happened if they were boys.

Silly woman. Does she also think pregnant women should stay in?!

You did nothing wrong. My 4 year old knows I bleed ‘from my bottom’, what a tampon is and probably the word period. Is it all a bit icky, well yes - no one loves bleeding. But is it absolutely essential to mainstream stuff that happens to 50% of population? Also absolutely yes. I hate the taboo and shame piled on and we perpetuate it by not talking about it and using proper words.

She said period, she didn't swear at him.

Your mother In law needs to realise it’s not the 1950’s anymore.

Yes but unless you explained to him that this was an issue that doesn’t affect all women he is bound to think that period always = can’t swim.

So glad you posted this!! I said the same to my 5 year old girl and my husband was horrified!

I think maybe it’s because the accepted wisdom used to be that women couldn’t do a lot of physical activities on their periods - which wasn’t necessarily true. Then people over-corrected with, “Of course women can do those things on their periods! No reason why they can’t!” And now people believe that instead and don’t acknowledge that it varies from woman to woman.

I get really angry about the persistent taboo around periods, and even angrier when it's women reinforcing it. I am currently having investigations for abnormally heavy bleeding and a prolapse, I had an internal yesterday and have a pelvic ultrasound booked. I have a teenage son and an elderly father living with me and there is definitely an expectation (among my female relatives who do know) that I will not share with them what's actually wrong - it's completely unworkable, I am in pain a lot, can't go out when the bleeding is bad and of course they want to know why I'm going to the hospital etc. It's 2024 and we are still expected to maintain a polite fiction and euphemise away female biology for the comfort of men. I'm not doing it. I won't go into gory details (as I wouldn't about any other medical condition) but the truth is what it is.

It's pure misogyny, nothing else. Women's bodies being seen as dirty and shocking. Men scratch their bollocks in public all the time, and it's regarded as a bit grim and bad manners - try sticking your hand down your crotch and having a good scratch as a woman in a public place. It's a whole different level of inappropriate. Why?

I find other women are sometimes the harshest judge of other women's period issues, because they don't suffer and then assume that others should be the same. Men are often more sympathetic becasue they have no experience and so don't make assumptions. I wouldn't want to swim either, partly because of the blood but also because of random dizziness and occasional very sudden vomiting on the first day or two becaue of the pain, and without much warning, driving to a pool or being in the water could be difficult.

I think it's fine to have told him. You don't need to go into endless details, but it's perfectly acceptable as the reason.

yes, periods do stop some women from doing things even if they don't stop others. If he questions that, you can tell him that everyone experiences it differently, and some have more issues on certain days than others.