To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

Because DS is male. That’s why it’s shocking mentioning such things to men.

I think she’s react the same if he was 18

so you think that is what i was suggesting?

even though i actually include precisely the words id say? weird

Brilliant analogy OP.

I can’t go swimming because i suffer from heavy periods

and you think that i am suggesting a “whole rant” and showing him the body form / tampax advert

Ah i see. You’re one for hyperbole.

Explains your entire thread (multiple people asking multiple times my ass! 😆)

There are loads of reasons why an 8 year old wouldn't know. A lot of 8 year olds don't know the facts of life. DD wasn't ready at 8 to be told. She doesn't have younger siblings or cousins. I started trying to tell her at 9 but she just didn't want to know. She eventually learned about them at school aged 10. I knew when they were doing the sex ed talks, so I asked her after school on the day they did them whether she had learned anything new that day and she said no.

She didn't start periods until she was 13, but I felt that she needed to know about them at primary school because her friends would have started before her.

I have always been very open with her about such things, but you can't tell a child something they don't want to know.

My 7 year old likes to barge into the bathroom when I'm on the toilet. This means he's seen me changing my pad quite a few times. Has been the same for years. He doesn't give a shit and neither do I. He asked me what it was and I gave him a basic but scientifically correct explanation for what periods are. It's not something I can get worked up about. Maybe when he's old enough, he'll be understanding towards his female peers. He'll be the kind of man who doesn't get embarrassed buying tampons for his wife.

I can’t decide if I’m jealous of people who think that no period can possibly be heavy enough to stop you going swimming, or relieved that I’m not so unaware as to think it.

Snorted with laughter at the patronising response to go sit in the bath and see how blood can’t possibly come out! That would be living the dream…

@Biffbaff Yeah even with super plus tampons I need a night time pad and these each need changing every 45 mins to an hour for the first 2 days. Awful

Love, even super plus tampons are not enough for my flow! I also need a night time pad so you're wrong! Many, many women cannot "just go" at all

Sitting in the bath with blood clots floating about around me may be proof that for many of us water doesn't stop the flow (though does slow it down a little, I'll give you), unless my poor lady brain is imagining things...

I was up 7 times last night. Seven. Double nighttime pads each time. Forgot to put a towel down so sheet wrecked this morn. Shattered.

I too have had tests galore. It's normal for me apparently. I'm super fertile, super regular yet I'm ill for a quarter of my life with periods. I feel so very much for those who suffer more than I with infertility, endo etc.

This thread is the most depressing one I've ever read on mn.

I've spent a lifetime explaining to people why I'm not there/ not myself during my bad week. Looks like I'm bunking off, even thought he other three weeks I'm out there, never letting anyone down.

No I can't go bloody swimming, and I'd rather youngsters understand that before they realise that some women can. They may show more compassion than their parents ever did. We lose a quarter of our lives.

The equivalent would be someone saying well I have a headache and can function in comparison with a migraine sufferer.

Please try to understand because it's honestly awful to keep reading the same posters going on in ignorance (or deliberate ignorance)...

I can't use them and so cannot swim. Not everyone feels comfortable using them. But I would explain that dependent on age.

I've been open about periods with my kids from the word go

What on earth are you on about? “Multiple people asking multiple times”? When did I say that?

Why does being on your period stop you from swimming? That's why tampons were invented!

Of course tell him!! More explanation the better. I have an adult female friend who thought you couldn't swim on your period because your tampon might float out!! So not everyone knows how things work.

Hi;
it’s been adressed a few times upthread.

There are lots of reasons why some women don’t use a tampon to go swimming:

they don’t like tampons
vaginismus
fear of toxic shock syndrome
they still leak through with heavy perioda
its the getting dressed afterwards that is really messy

because you can use tampons to enable you to swim, doesn’t mean everyone else can

does anyone know if there is functionality on here to ignore specific posters if they are getting on your tits

Some absolutely bonkers responses from women on this thread. Cannot believe the lack of empathy displayed and the disbelief that women might have different periods to them and that if they have it's because they haven't sought medical advice for it.

Actually tampons were invented to stop the bleeding from bullet wounds on the battle field. It wasn't long after that a bright young nurse had the idea to use them for periods, but it a secondary usage.

thats interesting! Any idea how long women have been using tampons? I was under the assumption that it’s only fairly recently (ie 1960s onwards)

All this. I’m the same. I literally organise my life around my periods as I know I am often too unwell to do much or travel when I’m on.
It’s partly why I WFH full time.

So much of my life is spent in pain, my aunties on my Dad’s side are all like that too, but all very fertile and no issues getting pregnant AFAIK.

It’s so inconvenient. I was staying with my best guy mate and his wife and my period started early. If I’d known that would happen I probably would’ve changed the date I went to visit. Thankfully it was serviced apartments they were in because I soaked not only the sheets but the mattress protector. I asked the housekeeper to get not only new sheets but a new mattress protector too.

I’ve found period pants help me a lot , still not foolproof though.

They were invented during the 1st world war but a product designed and marketed for menstruation was patented in the 30s. They weren't popular though due to cultural distaste for the idea. They started being more popular in the 60s

I completely agree.

But that's why I'm confused.

Why are you asking if you were unreasonable just because one woman thought you were?

I know lots of people who think different things to me, but that doesn't make me think I'm BU and judging by this post, you clearly don't either?

But you are well so that would be even more confusing for him!!

Yup. I'm in my 60s now. I recall being on holiday and having to wear tampons, night-time pads and thick knickers to bed as well as placing a towel under me... (Periods were irregular.)

Remember desperately rinsing out blood from the bottom sheet and drying it using the in-room hairdryer.

Agreed. I recall my mum telling me that she couldn't swim because she had a cold...I argued with her.